I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

Have you watched my big fat gypsy wedding? If so what did you think about ? Do you think it's an accurate representation of your community? Did it impact your community negatively or positively?

And what about the people who go to festivals, Glastonbury or boomtown, do you stereotype all settled people because of the minority that leave tonnes of rubbish and tents in fields?

Could you teach us a little bit of Pavee right now?

Thank you for making this thread and I'm sorry your community is still subjected to so much racism (It baffles me that some people who would judge others for holding racist views about pretty much every other group are so happy to be openly racist towards gypsies and travellers).

I've always wondered if there's much judgement between gypsies who choose a more 'settled' life? (sorry, that's probably not the best way to put it but I'm struggling to find the right words).

There is a permanent gypsy site close to me that seems pretty traditional. I know from local initiatives and seeing young children around through the week that many leave school early, lots tend to travel still, and from speaking to mums at a softplay, it's frowned upon for women there to work and they see housework and childcare as their responsibility. Their fashion choices also seem to be quite distinctive.

I also know other women who sound more similar to you. They completed school, have careers, and their partners seem to do more child care. I don't think anyone would be able to look at theirs or their children's clothes and guess their background. I only know they are travellers because they are proud of their heritage and mention it in conversation.

Is it likely that these groups are completely separate, or do individuals from within the same family/social group choose drastically different lives. Is there much judgement if you go against the norm? So, if you lived in a traditional community but chose to go to university and delayed marriage, would that be an issue? Or if your family was less traditional, would you be likely to be judged for choosing to travel and keep your children out of school?

Thank you! Contrary to believe we really welcome people coming to speak to us, ask us about our culture. We will help the community in ways we can. It's a shame we don't get that back from settled people. We have to change our last names if we want to call and book a table as we will be told it's fully booked.

I haven't experienced this but my family have experienced being turned away at an empty restaurant for being 'fully booked' for no reason whatsoever aside from being from the travelling community

Funny question 😆
I work with a Romany traveller woman who does the same job I do - local authority management level. Why assume all travellers work cash in hand or not at all?

This is a really interesting AMA thanks OP.

Understand horses play a big role in your culture or did traditionally is that still the case? If so, do you participate in main stream events or do you have your own events. (Like the big festival in Appleby, Cumbria). Is that something more for the men to do or are women encouraged to ride as well?

The state of festival sites post the event is disgusting, you are completely right. But there is a difference in that they were entitled to be there in the first plac, akd the clean up coats tend to be wrapped up in the ticket price. Fouling a local park where you are not entitled to stay is not the same thing.

It’s the truth though that I had to deal with.

I witnessed the type of prejudice you encounter only last weekend !!
I was shopping locally and In front of me a beautiful group of girls different ages lovely long hair and a guy dressed all lovely I actually commented on the girls hair because it was so lovely !!
But I could feel the undertone around me from the shop staff and when they was walking away after paying for item the cashier said something about the chap having something in his back pocket and I told her to stop being so prejudice!! He has paid !!!!
How awful thou just so u know we're not all like that !! People should live how they like if people were kind and nice to each other we wouldn't have these problems x

There are good and bad in all groups and I will always accept there are people in the travelling community that do exactly what you've posted. They are a huge minority though and will often be shunned or put out. We are very strict on our children when it comes to this type of thing. The difference is we get lumped together due to being travellers, whereas settled people don't.

Most travellers pay tax and national insurance. Some of the travelling men do prefer to pay cash and find loopholes in the system but it is a minority. A lot of people do that from every background

Do you refer to yourself as a gypsy? I'm Irish and here calling members of the Travelling Community gypsies is considered a slur.

What do you think of the travellers who turn up.en masse and just park up in supermarket car parks/hospital car parks and feel perfectly entitled to do so? Also the travellers who leave tons of rubbish behind them eg soiled nappies etc? (Appleby eg) Why do the women/girls wear such gaudy, revealing outfits to events like weddings, Christenings etc? And where do they buy them? I’ve never seen a shop that sells those type of things!
Is it true that women don’t breastfeed their children? If so, why?

What are the signs?

@TowerTumble how do you find the time to do all this stuff? 😁🙄

Seriously though, I love this kind of thread. I’ve spent more time with Romani gypsies than with Irish travellers but the interactions I’ve had have been overwhelming positive (bar the odd dickhead).

My question is about how older people are treated in the community - I have a very fond memory of spending a summer afternoon paddling in the river with DC next to a large Irish traveller family. It was a blazing hot day and one of the women approached my grandma and offered her a cold drink from the freezer bag. It made me consider a) how rarely we approach strangers in mainstream british culture and b) what a kind and respectful gesture it was. Is there a respect for age and wisdom? Does the community tend to care for older relatives/frown on care homes etc? And does such care fall to women?

There’s a shop I believe in Liverpool which sells these sorts of dresses.

What do you think of squatting and why do travellers think it’s ok to take over land that is not theirs?

Low literacy can cause problems more more for women. The men tend to have trade jobs and manual work. A lot of them travelling men cannot read or write well but this is more the older generation than younger.

Better outcomes for health and lifespan start with trusting the NHS. We actually pay for a lot privately if we can afford to and if we can't family will help financially. Due to the prejudice experienced it's hard to trust the NHS

That was a kind thing to do.

How did the restaurant know they were from the travelling community?

Why don't they clea up their waste when they leave an illegal encampment. I have to deal with these sites in my job. I know its a regular problem.

Does your culture partake in traditional Irish dancing?

Thanks for this - so interesting.

That would be a cultural thing and women of the family tend to do the caring for ill relatives. We prefer it this way and it's seen as our responsibility. Being disowned for marrying outside the community is less common now. It's preferable that we marry within the community but we don't tend to punish or put anyone out if they don't. But it can happen in other communities.

Gypsy / traveller isn't offensive to us at all. The offence word is pikey which is still sadly thrown about a lot

That’s not right that the NHS treats you badly.

I do agree though that children should be educated whether at school or home so they’re literate and know eg basic maths.

Another question. Suppose one of your community had a mental health issue that meant they may require in house hospital treatment would you let that happen or prefer to treat at home? Are suicide rates high in the community?

'the feeling is you wanted to be accepted but you wont follow the rules and laws that every citizen in this country should'

This comment was from a post full of angry accusations, but I thought it shone a bit of light on an interesting point.

There's a tension between holding onto traveller identity and societal acceptance, isnt there? How do you reconcile the two? By definition travellers are kind of outside the norm. Do you feel you have to choose?

I've known a few travellers, OP, and I always felt this was hard for them. Seems sad that so much heritage is being lost as travellers become more integrated, although I understand in many ways it's also helped improve things like health and education, etc.