I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

Earlier on in this thread it was stated that women are treated like queens, not sure this attitude shows this.

You cannot expect to be kept in that way and have no expectations in return.

In a way they are, but medieval up to Tudor queens. Behave the way we want you to or you're in the shit. Don't have ideas of your own, or dare to want your own life.

Do you personally think less of the girl than the boy in that scenario? As in morally do you think it’s worse for a girl to have sex before marriage than a man?

Or is it just you think she’s more foolish than him because of the sexism that she’ll be on the receiving end of while he won’t be?

not free then?

Sounds a bit like prostitution to me.

Yes I do

Can I ask why? I’m not being snarky I just don’t understand what the difference is. Completely get if you don’t agree with sex before marriage for religious reasons for example, but then don’t understand why it’s more wrong for a female than a male?

Many women don't work - they don't get thought less of if they have sex before marriage. Why should a woman be thought less of than a man if they have sex before marriage?

Just old fashioned values I suppose.

Not treating women with respect though is it

No idea, it’s not something we ask other people. He has his own driveway company

Honestly I don't really know what you are trying to achieve, you are virtually arguing with yourself. I'm not trying to sell you a lifestyle I'm answering questions. You don't like my way of life and I undoubtedly wouldn't enjoy yours.

I’m not arguing with myself. We are being told women in your culture are treated with high respect, but these examples you are giving are not illustrating that

Fair enough, each to their own.

I think it’s sad when sexism and double standards are excused or explained away by tradition (as I think some dangerous things go on for too long due to this e.g. FGM as an extreme example) but I appreciate you being honest.

FWIW I also don’t think it’s unique to gypsy culture as I know society as a whole condemns women for their sex lives more than men so that isn’t me having a go at your culture in particular.

Can you not fathom that in order to be treated with respect, a person must be respectable?

It’s not sexism to us though. We live traditional lives where the men are the bread winners and women are the homemakers, we are a team and support and build each other up. Some women choose to do that and some choose to earn a living alongside our husbands. We respect each other and our morals match. Some girls want a career and some don’t, boys will always work because they someday will have to support a family. If this isn’t how you’ve been brought up then you will never get it but we are brought up this way and it’s part of our make up and who we are. Respect that others live differently and move along.

I think the problem is with the double standard that it's ok for men to sleep around but not women.

It’s the same in Fife, though some do own their own house.

People are asking genuine questions - other peoples views aren't always going to align and you could say that for any thread on these boards

Out of interest, what would be thought of a couple who didn't want children? Not couldn't have them, for one reason or another, but just didn't want to? Would they be looked down on? And i mean both parties agreed they didn't want to, so the man and the woman.

But it’s the same question over and over again. I’m not sure what people are trying achieve, what answer do they want?

Then they don’t have them, no one’s going to look down on anyone for not having kids.

Not much really, just that it was a bit odd

Thanks!