I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

And what age would you be expecting them to get married @ThejoyofNC? Once they are adults can’t they do what they want?

What if they don’t want to be married?

Ok. In which case, the lessons definitely would not meet your preference.

@ThejoyofNC did you learn about sex and periods from your Mum?

Why not?

And as others have said, what if they don't want to get married?

They are legally allowed to leave home at 18. I'm pretty sure you can't stop them.

Also, why are they not permitted to learn about sex education?

Are you worried that if they hear about it it will make them go off the rails? The teens definitely know about it anyway 😁.
A massive part of the issues that Travellers face is due to lack of education. I think the way forward would be to get Traveller women to lead the way into teaching the next generation. That way they could receive a good education and not have to worry about values being compromised. So many of the women I interact with are so clever and have such potential but believe that "education is not for us" so feel it is pointless.
I was surprised to read research that Travellers in Ireland were largely not in favour of Traveller only classes (this used to be a thing) but then withdraw their DC from school as they don't want them mixing with others. What do you think is the way forward @ThejoyofNC ?

@ThejoyofNCyou’ll regret answering these questions lol I did the same ama a while ago and no matter what you answer they just won’t get it because it’s alien to them. Plus you’ll get the questions soon of “why did you move onto our rugby field in may 2016?” lol because they don’t understand that you can’t answer for a whole community 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm not wanting to take over the thread as it's not mine but people who don't want to get married usually never leave home. They might live on the same property in a separate caravan/mobile home though. Adults still have to answer to their parents to some degree until they're married, women more so. I would say gypsies get married older then Irish travellers on average, I'd say mainly between 18-25 these days.

Do male gypsies have sex before marriage?

It's still relevant and interesting, so please share more of your thoughts and respond to questions if you want to.

@babylamb4 because most women think it is horrific that young girls are deprived of education and can only leave home if they get married. What do you think about the way women are treated in Afghanistan?

Please don't regret it, people need to realize when another culture is explaining their ways that it might not align with theirs, but ultimately that's the way it is. People saying "they can choose to do what they want at 18" clearly do not understand the often complex 'rules' of conformity that is expected, they are just looking at it from their own worldview. So pleeeeaaaase stick around to answer, I love this topic.

I'd never bother starting my own because I couldn't not bite back and it wouldn't be beneficial to anybody. I just think the OP here is either clueless or disingenuous

I'd be interested in knowing this too. I know male Travellers can have sex with anyone right up until their wedding day, then they are expected to stay monogamous, but I don't know about gypsy culture.

What look, though? I mean, you might be able to see it, but I don't think the rest of us can. Are we talking about features, clothes, what? I wouldn't have any idea what a "traveller name" is, either - are they different from other Irish names? This stuff might be obvious to you but I really don't think it is to non-travellers.

No, it's fine, don't worry about 'taking over' your posts are interesting and thank you for responding. This wouldn't be for me, never being able to leave and having to stay in the community but I guess if that is what you know, that's fine. Do any people ever 'rebel' and leave? And are they kind of shunned/cut off? Or just given a wide berth?

Thank you for your posts. They are appreciated.

In my opinion women in Afghanistan are treated as lower than second class citizens. I think we treat our women the complete opposite. They are the most respected and protected

@ThejoyofNC are they respected if they want to go to school/university? Have a career not be a wife or mother?

It's not uncommon for people to "leave" and live a different lifestyle. In those situations 9/10 times it's to marry outside the culture. It's rare for anyone to actually be shunned to be honest and we usually just welcome them into the family.

Each family is different though, several would still cut off their own child for being gay for example

Kinda what I wondered a bit. What happens if they rebel @ThejoyofNC 😃

Cross post sorry!

@ThejoyofNC one thing I'd love to know but would never ask any of my women, do you do prenatal or antenatal genetic testing. A lot of my women have at least one child with a disability which is genetic. MPS is one of the conditions and is fatal. Cystic fibrosis also seems prevalent. I know Travellers are anti abortion, but do people consider the possibility of genetic issues before they marry, especially when it's a cousin marriage? Or do they just 'leave it up to God?'

I live on the North Wales border, we have lots of travellers locally. They're always pleasant, saying hello being pleasant. Their houses are immaculate -usually with everything covered in plastic- and their kids are always well mannered, but I've noticed even the younger girls are looking after the little ones and doing housework at 10 or 11. They've all been pulled out of school after they reach 11 because according to their parents there's drugs, alcohol and sex going on and they don't want the kids involved in that stuff.

Do you mean besides the normal NHS appointments? None that I know of but like you said, that wouldn't change things anyway as we would go through with the pregnancy either way.

Florence Nightingale's sister was called Parthenope (the Greek name for Naples)

Actually her 1st name was Frances, but as this was her mothers name she was always known by her 2nd name Parthenope to avoid confusion (poor girl)