I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

She mentioned a couple of times that she was struggling to keep up with all the comments and questions. I very much doubt she was ignoring your questions and others on purpose.

She probably answered the “litter” questions a dozen times as people continued to negatively stereotype her in regards to litter and mess. I think most people would concentrate and be affected by multiple negative comments rather than positive ones.

It really is quite difficult to try and ignore racist and prejudiced comments and filter them out. If people weren’t so nasty and superior the OP might have well stayed and could have answered your questions if you asked them again.

I am a Brit who has worked with a Traveller project in Ireland for the last 4.5 years, working closely with Irish Travellers on issues of health, culture / heritage and education (but with an emphasis on health). I manage a team of Traveller workers who do outreach with the community on issues like the HPV vaccine, diabetes, cancer screening, mental health etc. Great to e-meet you!

I have had a really good experience working for this project: the work is genuinely fulfilling, even though it gets extremely busy!

This thread has been an interesting microcosm. The OP has repeatedly stated that we shouldn’t judge a community on the basis of a few bad actors, and by and large has had the majority of people on the thread being respectful and engaging with openness and curiosity. It’s understandable, but a shame that she’s now abandoned the thread based on a handful of comments from bad actors.

That's an interesting point about 'the cant'.

I had a group of 4 cousins in one of my classes. One day, one of the girls told the other three only to speak 'cant'. (She was the oldest cousin and evidently the leader, though that changed when she reached marriageable age and the outcome was unfortunately not a good one.)

They were dismayed, perturbed and a wee bit angry when I was able to respond to them. It might have been different from the language that your FIL knew, but to my ears they were merely speaking the Scots that my grandparents used to use and that I heard all over the mineworking community in which I grew up.

In parts of Scotland, on the folk scene, Travellers are revered for preserving Scots and traditional songs, but I was a bit bemused at children thinking that they were speaking a language that was unique. Perhaps the problem was that part of our catchment had become a bit gentrified so most of the children no longer knew the words that I grew up with. For example, most of the kids had no idea that 'a dub' is just a puddle.

Is it true that girls are always chaperoned before marriage but there are very different attitudes towards boys and young men?

As I understand it, girls are not allowed to drink alcohol before they're married. Sex before marriage is also frowned on.

Thank you for posting. It’s interesting. Sadly my experience is where lots of caravans appear overnight, often in local football/rugby fields, which prevents local people and teams using the pitches/playparks. Teams then have to find somewhere else to play their prearranged games. Local Children too scared to use the park because of all the caravans and dogs. Then they leave after a few weeks leaving the area filthy with litter, large unwanted items etc. This isn’t one off experience, it’s been for decades at various areas around my city.

OP, you sound absolutely lovely & its very interesting to hear about the community through your eyes.

My question comes from really bad personal experience so apologies in advance!

How do you feel about the pockets of antisocial travellers who give the rest of you a bad name?

I live on the SW coast & genuinely, every summer we have major issues and I have personally had extremely negative encounters with travellers. I used to work for an attraction and had to deal with break ins (Over the back wall not paying to get in, break and entry into a food storage room where loads of food was stolen, verbal abuse). Also one incident stands out to me, blatant theft such as in front of sales assistants, picking up massive items and just walking out with items over the shoulder whilst maintaining eye contact. On this particular occasion our team ran after them and we were verbally abused and threatened with being stabbed at our cars when we left work!

Police will do nothing as they seem scared although they were called but didn't show up.

My son had his football teams games all cancelled as they broke into the field and camped on the pitch and no one could remove them.

This and much more happens every year here, and I believe is probably why travellers have such a bad name. I have literally seen it all with my own eyes.

Do you think there is a way of getting through to the chaos causing travellers that give you all a bad name?

The difference is that many people have only had negative experiences of the traveller community. There are some very real and objective complaints.

It felt like OP tried to justify travellers trespassing on land, damaging it, and leaving behind human excrement by saying it wasn’t their fault, it was just because they weren’t being given land. But she also clearly doesn’t think that behaviour is acceptable and isn’t like that herself.

Where I used to live in London, there were travelling communities that would arrive periodically. Milk was stolen from doorsteps, the kids’ park trashed, and the adults would send their children into shops to steal while they distracted the staff. I worked in a shoe shop at the time so experienced this firsthand.

I think the really, really unfortunate thing for decent folk like OP is that there is still a fair chunk of the traveller community that behaves like this. She says anyone that behaved like this would be ostracised in her community but that’s certainly not the case for all traveller communities, and therein lies the problem.

While I absolutely agree it’s wrong to make sweeping assumptions, it would be also wrong to suggest there isn’t some truth in the stereotypes. Clearly not for the whole community, but certainly still part of it.

And I think that while that persists, and while that continues to often be people’s only direct experience with the travelling community, it’s going to be really hard for travellers to change some people’s minds about them.

I think posts like this are a great opportunity for people to understand more about the traveller community and their culture, particularly the many positive aspects, so it’s a shame that she left. But I agree that OP didn’t need to keep seeing the same questions about excrement/rubbish time and again when she’d already answered them a few times. But if you’re going to do an AMA on a controversial subject, you do need a thick skin. I’m autistic and certainly wouldn’t do one on autism because I know I’d not cope with questions that felt ignorant or insulting!

Every time I see travellers talking about their culture I always feel really envious of their family values, and of having such a close community. I think there are lots of us who would love to be part of a community that takes care of each other like that.

I haven’t read the whole thread and I’ll preface with the fact that I am friends with people in the travelling community (although they are what used to be called New Age travellers but often travelled alongside and with the gypsy/romany community). Two questions - how do you feel about these new travellers, are they accepted into your community at all? And secondly, in my experience of travellers that have stopped off locally (not welcomed at all by my community I’m ashamed to say), why do they leave a mess? Is it in protest to the prejudice they receive or is it just the people that have happened to stay by me. I’m talking about going to the toilet in the trees/bushes without burying it specifically. I wouldn’t have believed it but there was a voluntary clear up after.

I recognise that your community receive a lot of discrimination but are they discriminatory themselves? I'm mixed race and always assume they're racist towards black people. Perhaps this is because they never seem to mix and I'm sure I've read before that Irish and Romany travellers don't get on.
Of course, I understand racism pokes its ugly head up everywhere.
Fascinating culture 🙂

In my experience, it goes each way. Students who have been suspended for racism come from many different communities.

Wait I just saw in your responses that you are NOT a real gypsy

Fuck me sideways you had me fooled

It’s understandable, but a shame that she’s now abandoned the thread based on a handful of comments from bad actors.

But were they really bad actors? The problem is that travellers like the OP don't get the coverage, but the ones who leave the mess and filth and behave anti socially do. And a lot of people have had incidences in their locality of that.

And while I understand that the OP wanted to give the other side of travelling I for one felt that she glossed over what is a real issue with statements of 'there are bad examples but they're not representative of us all' and 'in her community that behaviour wouldn't be tolerated', without addressing or accepting in real terms the the very significant damage such instances do to the perception of travellers.

Where was that? I’ll have to re-read.

She says shes from the "irish travelling community"

I am so sad that OP left this thread but can completely understand why she did

I have lived in my present home for 18 years ~ I had lived here for quite a few years before I found out from a neighbour that there is a group of travellers who live in fixed caravans about 3 minutes walk from my home. The caravan park looks lovely from the road, with well kept flower beds etc so I had presumed, as it is close to a beach, that the caravans were holiday homes.

The only problem (and I can barely call it that) is that we have several times had some boys on quad bikes riding up and down the road at unsocial hours. Apparently they were visiting relatives at the caravan park. Other than that, there have been no issues at all to the best of my knowledge

I understand the many issues that some groups of travellers cause as I have experienced the same but would just like to make the point that not all travellers live like that, to the extent that you may well not realise that some are living close to you

@TowerTumble if you're reading this, I hope you're OK and I'm so sorry you felt the need to leave

@Gizzywizzywoo re Jehovas Witnesses, if you ask them they'll put you on their list for no visits. I wasn't convinced this was a thing until I asked our local group. Not knocked on my door since.

Yes, they do, I've found them to be very nice.

One of my former pupils was married as a teen to a teenage Traveller from the south.

She divorced him for DV and was shunned. Horrible.

I know you won’t come back OP but I think it’s a shame a few people have piled on here to you. Not a lot you can do about bad apples.