I've had 3 homebirths. AMA.

[Chbebe]

Just thought it might be interesting to someone!

There is another book called Spiritual Midwifery where women lived in a commune called The Farm which began in 1971. Women gave birth with a lay midwife. I think it’s still around but it has evolved.

Like other women on here, I know that my child (and possibly me) would have died without being in a hospital with appropriate interventions.
Some women on here have very different experiences, and, as I said, have been lucky to have low tech births, even without pain relief.
That's fine.
I think all women's experiences are different and I wish we wouldn't have negativity about either side.

I think that is a little unfair.

To a degree mindset is a factor. I am absolutely NOT saying that a positive mindset could prevent a medical occurrence but you mentioned no pain relief. For me I did have the mindset that I didn't want any (or as little as possible) I was only 20 years old and planned my whole birth to be as natural as possible. After trying the gas and air I decided it was best to just focus on my breathing.

It was an induction and by far my most painful and strenuous labour (I had zero build up of contractions, my waters popped and they started at the same level as they were before pushing! )but I did keep trying to adjust my mindset through the pain.

Having said that I absolutely understand that mindset is only likely to be a successful tool in a situation where everything is going as planned. In an emergency necessity and the needed medical intervention takes over.

I hope that makes sense.

And I am not denying that luck may play a part, nobody knows why some births are straightforward and some are complicated but its almost used in a condescending way. Like the only reason you had this positive experience is luck and non of it is down to your own preparation and ability.

I hope that comes across how I mean it to!

I'm not being unfair, @Chbebe . Seriously.
Otherwise, those who have complications - are we to blame? Didn't we prepare properly? Didn't we have the right mindset?
I needed a lot of pain relief, I genuinely don't think that was a failing on my part.
I'm not sure what you mean by "ability" in this instance.
Anyway. I think I'd better leave it there.
Good luck with any future births.

You're conflating medical emergencies with uneventful births.

I'm talking about the mindset during a non eventful birth. You are talking about the events of a medical emergency.

I absolutely don't believe mindset can prevent medical occourances. I said that first off.

But a positive mindset can absolutely help in a non eventful birth.

Thankyou but my youngest is 16 and my husband has been sterile for all that time, thats not a chance in hell I will be giving birth again! 🤣

And needing pain relief is absolutely not a failing in any way. I felt it necessary to limit as I have a history of bad reactions to medicatuon and even the G&A made me very ill. It wasn't a personal goal or some kind of challenge. I just wanted to be as present as possible and not feel sick

I tried G&A with my first but I didn’t like it. With my home birth I didn’t use anything as she was born so quickly!

Do you find people are negative in real life when they hear you had a homebirth or is it restricted to online negativity?

I loved my homebirth and would absolutely do it again if i ever have more children (unlikely).

It’s true, actually. You obviously don’t like to hear it, presumably you have some sort of bias to react so strongly.

The gut microbiome is the foundation for our immunity, the single biggest site of immune tissue. hospital births are associated with irreversible damage to it because of the widespread and oftentimes frivolous use of antibiotics for “preventative” reasons.

Here is a scientific link showing that even in cases of vaginal birth being born in a hospital is a risk factor for adverse health, not even accounting for the additional risk of avoidable c sections by being in a hospital and which has an even bigger impact
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21872915/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

This. Sorry you had to go through this. I had similar and it would seem that none of us would be here to tell the take on MN had we opted for a home birth and that frightens the life out of me.

I've never had anyone be negative in real life ever. Everyone always seems very interested.

and you think thy couldnt happen with two midwives in charge? Give over! Accidents happen we know that and accidents and mistakes happen in hospitals of course but to think home births are risk free is both laughable and terrifying in equal measures.

Your analogy about everything being risky is ridiculous. It’s a choice to have a baby at home and the the only difference between it going ‘perfectly’ or ending in disaster and at worst loss of life is simply luck (or not)

Knock hospitals all you want but in an emergency I bet that’s the first place you’d be heading!!! If you had a post partum haemorrhage and we’re going to to bleed to death you’d be begging for a doctor to stop it and save your life.

Where have I said anywhere home birth is risk free? My point is (because people seem to have ZERO grasp of this) there are varying types of risk in different circumstances and there is no risk free birth, it is a FACT that worst case home vs hospital is about the same risk for low risk women having their subsequent child, but there is a lot of evidence that home is actually (slightly) LOWER risk. I haven’t knocked hospitals anywhere, I gave birth in hospital for my first birth because that is where I was most comfortable which is ultimately what matters most, I’m merely stating that a hospital birth is not risk free.

But no don’t let actual facts get in the way of your random rage 🙄

It’s the tone in which you’ve replied to PP that got my back up. I couldn’t care less of a woman wants to birth her baby in the local farms watering trough, her choice, but there’s often an underlying smugness on home births, as if those who chose it are ‘so in control, they understand everything, they so well ‘informed’ in a way the rest of us aren’t.

It makes me wince because from experience, it’s pot luck whether it ends in dreamy fashion or complete horror. 10 midwife’s standing by your side would be no use if your placenta didn’t come away properly, you wouldn’t be here to tell the tale of how wonderful it is. If there was a
way of knowing then fair enough but as illustrated on here, there really isn’t any way to tell and that doesn’t include stuff like the baby getting stuck etc…..

So most people weigh up the risks and decide it’s too much of a risk for them so most women chose the hospital.

I am not responsible for whatever chip you have on your shoulder, you read my posts wrong and worked yourself up seeing a tone that wasn’t there. I completely and wholeheartedly understand why women choose hospitals as I have done so myself. I’m a firm believer that first and foremost a woman has to be comfortable in her birthing space, so I would never judge another woman’s choice. And yet uneducated and uninformed women love to judge mine, and then their knickers in a twist when I defend that choice. FYI me defending my choice is not the same thing as me insulting yours. I’m genuinely glad you were where you needed to be when the worst happened.

Funny how people are living longer and longer these days despite most people being born in hospitals now compared to years ago. I won’t be losing any sleep over this anyway. Having almost bled to death with a retained placenta I would lose sleep if I got pregnant again and thought about how I might not make it to the hospital again though , seeing as I was only in labour for 2 hours last time. The thoughts of giving birth outside a hospital after that experience makes me shudder.

I only had one negative comment. It was from a mother at my son’s nursery, her husband was a doctor and she thought I had been irresponsible having a home birth!

Come on. A very tiny increased risk factor for a very small number of minor health issues, that your study shows may be mitigated with measures to help seed a healthy microbiome is hardly 'screwing up the fundamentals of a person's health'.

An unmedicated home birth would obviously mean a positive start to internal bacteria in a healthy home. Youre speaking to someone who used vaginal seeding and avoids antibiotics and antibacterial cleaners as far as possible.

But screwing up the fundamentals of health? No. Massive overstatement.

I think a home birth sounds absolutely lovely, as does the OP who has posted without judgement and doesn't seem to feel herself superior or think others failed to educate themselves.

But posting utter bollocks about screwing up the fundamentals of a person's health with a hospital birth is pure hyperbole.

@pahhdgaa

I don’t think anyone really cares who gives birth where as long as the baby is born and mother and baby are both well and safe. I’ll reiterate what I said last night, there can sometimes appear to be an underlying superiority tone regarding home birth vs hospital birth. Perhaps that’s no whats intended, but using language like ‘informed decisions, uneducated etc..” smacks a bit of smugness. The problem is if it goes wrong people can die and that’s what puts most women off.

Yes, this is the kind of nonsense and “hippy flower power, breath through everything instead of using antibiotics, powerful thoughts and mindset can beat cancer” that often advocate for the natural remedies (including home births) and it’s a dangerous mindset. This is what makes women roll their eyes.

Small number of minor health issues? What a thing to say about life threatening illnesses. They may seem minor when you don’t live it but when you live with that risk of your child having a fatal reaction every time you eat at a restaurant or attend a party, or have an immediate family member suffocate to death in their 30s from asthma, as I have had, it’s not minor at all. It’s also not a small number- something like 1 in 12 children now have allergies since an increase in antibiotics administered to young babies before they can establish their microbiome and therefore have no resilience to the damage they cause. In the UK alone multiple people die from asthma every single day. It’s only minor to you because it doesn’t affect you. But it matters to millions of families like mine.

And the study said hospital birth is a substantial risk factor, not a “very tiny risk factor”.

Why are you only open to looking at risks from home births but adamantly against looking at risks from hospital births? Nobody denies that there are certain risks that can mitigated by being in a hospital, like haemorrhaging for example. Ask yourself why the risks from both scenarios cannot be looked at objectively without people minimising or denying the evidence.

I have had 2 hospital births and zero home births by the way, so there is nothing “superior” about my attitude to people who give birth at hospital. but the facts are what they are. If we cannot challenge medical orthodoxy then the only people that lose are mothers and their babies.

I too have had multiple homebirths, 4 out of 5 and I too didn't feel it was a risk as I had two midwives with me. I have been lucky enough to have the same midwife deliver two of my children (1 hospital and 1 home) and another midwife who delivered my other 3, all at home and the final one as a water birth. Genuinely I felt very safe, all non exciting pregnancies and straightforward, very quick births.

3 attempts at homebirth here.

• Birth 1 - laboured at home for a day with midwife and then transferred to hospital as not progressing. Baby was back to back and had to be born via CS.
• Birth 2 - laboured at home with midwife and then transferred to hospital as midwife concerned. Baby born vaginally with ventouse.
• Birth 3 - Amazing homebirth, with our midwife only just making it in time to catch the baby.

For me, I felt very safe at home with 1-1 midwife care and monitoring. We are a 5 min drive from hospital so we knew that we could get there very quickly if needed. It's a personal choice, but for me I'm glad that I did it.

Well done to all the Mothers here that have birthed babies regardless of how and where they arrived in the world!

Nobody in this thread has said ANYTHING like that though?