I've had 3 homebirths. AMA.

[Chbebe]

Just thought it might be interesting to someone!

I had HB for my second. People are woefully ignorant of where risks actually lie in maternity care. Take a look at Birthplace UK Study - enlightening for those who think it’s risky.

No doubt we’ll have people commenting soon ‘I needed to be induced and me and my baby would have died if we’d been at home’. They don’t realise the cascade of intervention and risks that comes with an induction alone. Hospital can be the biggest risk!

Great idea for a thread. Do you feel able to talk openly about your HB with other mums? I feel a sense of embarrassment, almost as though I’d be perceived as bragging. Similar I guess to if I spoke really positively about breastfeeding going well. Such sensitive topics.

I've also had 3 home births, also like you OP i was in my 20s and now mid 40s so a while ago! Perfectly safe choice for me to have home births and in fact the poor attention and treatment I got in hospital after ds 1 (unplanned HB so went for a check up) solidified my choice for dc2 and 3).

Four healthy babies, three born at home with no pain relief.
You are very blessed 🌸

Yes, I do feel like if I talked about it, it may be seen as bragging but I think that's because i know how INCREDIBLY lucky I am to have had 4 completely uncomplicated births when I know so many women have traumatic experiences. And I was always conscious of the fact that birth can be a highly emotional subject.

I struggled to breastfeed my children, I just never found it to come naturally to me. It was always so painful and my milk supply never flourished and I would often feel sadness at mums that seemed to breastfeed so easily.

My youngest is 16 now so I don't talk about it really anymore but I was quite guarded about it at mums groups etc.

Many of us had to be induced to save our babies' lives. I'm guessing that can only happen in hospital, so I don't think we had a choice?

It’s all fine until it’s not though and that’s the problem or risk. I was low risk, 27, everything perfectly fine until the placenta didn’t come away. The couldn’t predict that and I was in theatre having it removed faster than I could ask what was happening. I would have bled to death if I’d been at home. I realise that doesn’t happen to everyone but the risk is not knowing if it could be you.

Things that would put me off (apart from the worry that if something went wrong you’re not in hospital) would be the neighbours hearing and the mess. How did you manage those?

I understand this but life is full of 'what if's'

I was lucky that everything went smoothly, yes. Birth is always risky but what if I had opted to have a hospital birth and caught a hospital based infection or if there was a shortage of midwives at hospital etc and I wasn'table to get the care I got at home and that resultedin something going wrong?. Me going to hospital could have resulted in a different outcome whereas me being at home resulted in a textbook birth. I could have even crashed the car on the way (pushing the examples of 'what if' with that one, I know but ykwim?)

Neighbours had no clue and I lived in a terrace. I wasn't loud, I was more of a breather.

Mess, 2 water births that DH dealth with. No mess.
Other birth on bed with waterproof mat and midwife covered it in sheets and we put down extra towels. Which DH dealt with.

Well, using that argument, surely anything could happen, at home or in hospital?
I'm really glad you were lucky, though.

Did your other children witness any of the births?

@RhododendronFlowers the point I made wasn’t about choice. It’s that women often don’t recognise that them being on a medicalised path increases the likelihood of exhaustion, epidural, fetal malposition, instrumental birth, haemorrhage and 3rd and 4th degree tears (not to mention more complex perineal trauma classed as ‘second degree tear’). They then say that their experience of these things would have meant they die at home. Rather than seeing that these things are disproportionately related to intervention.

And induction is offered for many reasons. Some concrete, e.g. fetal growth restriction/failing placenta. But others are contested, e.g. reduced fetal movements, suspected ‘big baby’, gestational diabetes that’s diet controlled. It’s not always that the medical advice is grounded in evidence, often it’s defensive practice.

Both me and my baby would have died with a home birth...I think anyone who does this is uneducated and entitled

People don’t understand that there are risks associated with hospital birth too. my first was born at hospital and as a result of the treatment she has multiple life threatening allergies and has nearly died from an allergic reaction. this is actually a really common scenario because of all the preventative antibiotics babies and women in labour are administered in hospital. in that regard, a hospital birth is actually a known risk to babies. it’s not really talked about, although it should be, and there are zero consequences for doctors who cause these issues for people right at the start of their life. Often they have deniable plausibility and will deny the link anyway.

it’s not just allergies btw - it’s also anything microbiome related like ibd, bowel cancer etc. all that stuff shows up later sometimes long after the newborns have been discharged from hospital. A hospital birth is associated with screwing up the fundamentals of a person’s health before they are even 1 day old. The reason is that the microbiome is almost a clean slate at the beginning so when antibiotics impact the balance of gut bacteria from day 1 the bacteria then grows back unbalanced because there was no established foundation to start with. the effects can be permanent and devastating.

I am certainly not uneducated I made an informed choice and I certainly are not entitled. I am glad you are your baby survived and must have been traumatising but don't knock other women who make their own decisions where they want to birth their baby.

I have also had 3 HB and one shitty hospital birth for #1. The 'care' during labour and postnatally was so appalling in hospital that it was safer at home where I actually had at least one midwife with me at all times.

My last birth did drag on just like the first, but rather than threaten me with a C section or forgo informed consent, my independent midwife was calm, called for another midwife, and got on with working with me. I didn't even know there was an issue until afterwards when she said that before she put the kettle on she had to call the hospital to stand them and the ambulance down.

She'd been at every antenatal appointment and I didn't even need a birthplan because we'd discussed it all over a cup of tea for months beforehand. That's the kind of antenatal care every women should have.

Well, when you're heavily pregnant and a consultant obstetrician advises an induction, that's what you'll take.
I didn't feel that I had more medical knowledge or expertise than her. She was amazing and I got fantastic care. I know some people don't seem to believe that of hospital births.
I understand that I was lucky - we were lucky.

So is a hospital birth. There is no way of giving birth without risk. Hospitals have their own set of risks. I’m not sure if it’s changed but when I was giving birth the stats showed a home birth was lower risk for second born children than a hospital birth. (I assume that stat assumes a first birth without complications).

I find it scary to think about as my daughter was low risk and had a massive haemmorage as soon as she left the birthing pool. Luckily she was in hospital as needed a transfusion.

Great thread.

Did you find your family/friends supportive of your plans? My DH was very supportive of our 2nd birth. My mum not so as too many unknowns.

I had a home birth for my DC2. Very relaxed atmosphere, until after DS was born and I had an unexpected bleed. All good in the end but it was scary. Those who say “ I am only 10 mins from maternity hospital” is all well and good but you have to wait for an ambulance which could take a long time if they are busy. Myself and baby were well following hospital stay. Both midwives and ambulance crew were fantastic but I struggled after with the “what if”.

Currently pregnant with our 3rd and now consultant lead. Birth will be in hospital as risk is high. I do look back now on my last labour with mostly fond memories.

Just be glad you didn't have one of yours at 31+4 weeks then....

No chance of a homebirth under these emergency circumstances.

You've just been lucky OP.

I’ve had two home births - no, it doesn’t feel like an achievement I’m proud of, except that growing a whole human baby is an achievement. How they get here - whether hospital, home or via the sunroof is by the by.

I wanted a home births with my first, largely because I don’t like hospitals and the stories I’d heard of hospital births were dreadful. My first birth didn’t go to plan and the hospital births was everything I’d dreaded, with midwives not listening to me, feeling powerless and it all going somewhat tits up (both me and baby were healthy but only just). I also lived less than a mile from the maternity unit so could get there in a hurry if needed.

I was so much more able to advocate for myself at home and this allowed the birth to progress better. The very best thing tho was having a bath in my own home and then climbing into my own bed with my family around me. The midwives don’t leave until you’ve had said bath, which is a pain in the arse.

They bring the gas and air and if you feel you need pethidine you can order that in advance. I have a high pain threshold which doesn’t mean I’m brave, it means I literally don’t feel the pain (or I feel it less than others). Again giving birth without pain relief isn’t an achievement - its just luck that I’m not sensitive to pain.

As someone who had a placental abruption with DD2, having had a normal vaginal delivery with DD1 and no risk factors for placental abruption, I really hope you don’t go around encouraging people to have home births. Yes DD2 and I absolutely would have died despite living only 10 mins from a hospital. The only reason she survived was that we were in hospital, cat 1 c section under GA within 4 mins.

Honestly what is running through your head as you type this? What argument do you possibly think you’re winning? Of course no woman is getting a home birth (planned at least!) at 31+4, it’s as relevant as talking about cancer. Home birth is (generally) an option for low risk women only, no woman under term is low risk for birth OBVIOUSLY. If you just want to make a snide comment that low risk women are lucky, I’m sure none of them would disagree.

You are more likely to get in a car accident than a low risk woman or her baby is going to die during a home birth, do you never get in car knowing that?