My adopted teenage son has fasd ama

127 replies

Fasdmama · 21/12/2025 10:30

Ama but please bare in mind I need to protect his privacy so some things I cant talk about. I want to do this to help people understand fasd more.

OP posts:

ThePieceHall · 22/12/2025 21:43

Newsenmum · 22/12/2025 19:15

This was the post I made the 😳 face to @ThePieceHall , not you!

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Okay, thanks! I didn’t think I’d said anything to upset anyone!

ThePieceHall · 22/12/2025 21:57

ScribblerIran · 22/12/2025 08:22

This does sound really hard and I hope you get the support you need. This response is more to some of the replies to your post, rather than your post, but adult adoptees like me and others have been forming organisations that represent us (like the Adult Adoptee Movement) so that we can speak out on issues about us - on the principle of 'nothing about us without us'. Oftentimes we get spoken about - often as problems - rather than seen as people who can speak for ourselves. Adoptees have written themselves about issues like healthcare for adoptees and how poor it is, and how difficult it is to navigate adoption as an identity. We aren't just babies being handed over to adoptive parents as a problem, birth parents aren't always awful people, and some adoptive parents, sadly, do not parent adoptees well.

I think we have the same cause at heart, albeit on different sides of the adoption triad. I am one of 50 adoptive families who worked with the BBC for six months on its comprehensive package of coverage about the Adoption Blame Game. I am 20 years in now and I genuinely do not think that adoption in its present format will exist in another two to three decades. We have all been cheated and lied to by the system and we have all endured systemic abuse. I think one of the issues/stumbling blocks is that contemporary adoption is so different now. I’m assuming that you are an older adoptee? Babies and children these days are only severed from their birth parents as the very last resort. They have, in the main, been exposed to drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, chaos and dysfunction. Relinquished babies are vanishingly rare these days. The children of contemporary adoption have brain damage ie FASD. I understand your hurt and anger. But, to be honest, I’m really fucking angry too about the lies told to me about my ‘healthy baby’. My healthy baby is now: blind/autistic/has neonatal abstinence syndrome/probably FASD/ADHD/a rare autoimmune disease and significant inherited mental health disorders (she is the product of schizophrenia and psychosis and borderline personality disorder). She has just started self-harming.

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