I am Polish living in UK - AMA

[RealReginaPhalange]

As the title says

Why haven’t you left yet? This place is a dump, I’m working on getting Irish citizenship so I don’t have to be ashamed to be English anymore but you can just stick your fingers up to the country right now! I’m so envious of you it’s unreal 🫩

Cheers. It’s my home and I love it. Off you go.

God I can’t wait to get away from you arrogant English. The Irish are so much more humble and respectful, they’ve always been welcoming to me even if most of my heritage is English. That’s why I am proud to call myself Irish. 🇮🇪

Did you know that Exeter celebrates the WW2 polish fighter pilots who defended the SW every year ? It’s very cool. I wish more people realised how connected we are to the Poles. Also getting hold of the first enigma machine. I’d feel patronising and weird saying thank you to a polish person in real life, so I’ll say thank you to you instead. Thank you.

Ooh how is mcdonalds different?

I am half Polish, and go there every year so interesting to hear your perspective!
I see Polish parents as much stricter in terms of expectations on behaviour, but (and I think this is a post communism thing as I am old and remember it before and after) now spoil their kids more.

They also feed their kids (with a knife and fork) until they are really old (about 3 or 4). I remember the shock as we let our babies eat with their hands

OP are your friends and family OK about your partner being Asian? I have had so many arguments with openly racist people in Poland.
I love Poland. Its so beautiful in parts. I love homecooked food, everything is so much better quality than here but wish the restaurants had more variety (especially in the countryside!)

Is it hard for Polish people to learn English if they haven't done so in school?

We had a Polish au pair when the borders first opened to them (2004?). She was from Warsaw and about 30 at the time. She did three different language classes and still made little progress. It was a bit frustrating for us, but mostly for her. We suggested that she learn English by reading to the children, but was both offended and embarrassed by this. She struggled a bit with the cost of living here, and couldn't believe that you couldn't have a wash and blow dry in Supercuts beyond the budget price. She also struggled that the local RC church didn't have mid-week masses, but wouldn't come to our CofE church.

A different experience was when we hired a Polish decorator (recommended to us), and he was brilliant. He wasn't just a decorator - he could do plumbing, carpentry and was much more than a handy-man. When he finished, he suggested some cleaners who would just put the icing on the cake. They were amazing. DH was working away during the week, and when he came home, he thought we had a brand new washing machine.

Because i have kids born here, one started school recently, my husband doesnt speak polish and i am afraid he will struggle there as he doesnt have an office job like finance, accounting, it, admin or whatever, we own a house we like and live in a city we like, and i am
shit scared of starting from scratch and regretting it. I left young, besides family and friends who have own life as well i have nothing there, allost half of my life i’ve been here and i am worried i wont settle there anymore, i am between two worlds and i am torn. I have done it once here when i came here, it was hard, i dont know i can do it again now with non polish speaking husband and kids. Its not only my life now, but i completely understand where you are coming from.

i still need to make pack lunch for tmrw and study for couple of hours so will come back to rest of the questions tomorrow!

What is a really good Polish film or television series for us to watch?

How do you think the Polish sense of humour differs from the British? I think that they might be quite similar because the Polish people I know are very, "Dry" and love feeding you a good one liner.

Of all the British comedies that you've seen, what do you find really funny?

Zyweic or Tyskie?

Years ago it was so much easier to go to Poland with some £££ and had time of your life, right now it is a struggle, £ isnt so strong anymore, prices are going up everywhere, but overall it does feel little easier there, none of my friends, some with better some with more basic job is struggling as we are here.

Do you have relatives / parents who remember living through communism in Poland? If yes, what is their opinion of it?

I ask because I used to work with a Polish chap who was probably in his teens in the 80s and remembered it fondly, his memories of it were fascinating, but all the other Polish people were a fair bit younger and used to roll their eyes when he would talk about it.

I've often wondered if he was typical of his generation or a bit unusual!

Second question, if I can please - What do you usually have for Christmas Eve dinner, do you do all the many courses?

@Ironfloor269 UPF food is a big no no. Polish people like to cook from scratch but there a lot of carbs in our diet, a lot of things based on flour, pasta, potatoes, we do eat a lot of home made soups though. chicken soup (there is no chicken in it when served! :D), chicken in flour/breadcrumbs with potatoes and grated, fried beetroot or minced port cutlets instead of chicken, potato pancakes, sauerkraut dish with sausage

@WateringCans i did know actually :) i dont feel i deserve a thank you but it is very nice to hear!

@Newsenmum the meat and buns taste less fake, burgers are more juicy with more than three slices of pickles in it lol.

@HopSpringsEternal we can be quite racist, sorry! but i stay away from people like that, my circle of friends and family are very open minded and never felt they do not accept my husband. they genuinely love him, but he is also great so it wasnt hard to get close relationship with him :)
and i am surprised about the feeding! could it be older generation though? my grandmom has completely different style and do not agree with anything i do with my kids :)

@CraftyGin sorry to hear you had this experience. I think learning basics to be able to be independent, to have a basic conversations isnt very hard. but to be more fluent could be. 30 is quite late to start a new language i think and some poeple just struggle more than others and i guess she was just one of them.

and yes, polish men usually can do everything, like literally everything when it comes to diy and renovating/decorating.

@Dontlickthebin i dont drink but in my clubbing era any beer as long as it is with blackcurrant juice!

@Redheadedstepchild oh i will struggle with polish cinema, there are not many i genuinely like i am afraid. there is an old polish movie which is amazing and shows poland 40 years ago or so. SAMI SWOI but not sure if it can be watched and has english subtitles, was looking for it years ago for my husband and couldnt find it. and to be fair british tv is not my favourite either! we only have netflix as there was nothing on tv whenever we put it on.

sense of humour is definitely quite similar

for christmas eve we always have 12 dishes, they are very particular and we dont eat them during the year but its always magical time. everyone dress up nicely, we HAVE to try all of them, even if you do not like it at least one bite.

communism yes, my parents generation so its still quite "well known". they had to queue to the shops to get basics, to get some stuff like furniture or something they had to have some papers, dont remember from who and how, but couldnt buy anything without that, sort of permission? not sure, and it was only one style and couple of sofas or whatever came to the shop. had to queue to get shoes, otherwise you repair everything, you do your own clothes from material you were able to get etc. poeple were rich, everyone had money but there was nothing you could freely buy or spend it on

What is the education system like? A Polish family I know, moved back to Poland last year and put their child into an International school because they said the child would never survive in a Polish school as its very very strict there?

And this question is a bit weird but why don't Polish people smile and appear happy? When I travelled around Poland, people always looked so unhappy and stern.

@nomeds
Wages differences in the past, now quality of life in Poland is so much better than UK

You didn't answer my question about Polish books! No worries if you don't feel like it but I thought it might have been missed. I have been living in a different country for 30 years and I still have homesick days although I love it here. Life is not simple!

Oh thanks @RealReginaPhalange I hope your Maman manages to bring some when she comes! I bet they’re delicious!

We start school after we turn 6, go to uni when around 18-19 years old and university is usually another 5 years. Longer if medicine etc. Our one lesson is 45 minutes and we have 5-20mins break after each lesson, we can have from 4 to 7 lessons daily, never finish at the same time every day like here, we get annual lessons plan though. We have homework from each lesson/subject daily, the young kids as well, our grades are from 1-6 (one obviously the worst).

no idea why we look so grumpy! We all know that😂

Yes it is. I am here 17 years and the difference is tremendous. But there is always brigter period after tough times, it will come here as well eventually which is another reason it is hard to leave. By the time i would settle there, and kids and husband, be comfortable financialy, it could be years and things might look better here and go downhill in poland.

Oh i am so sorry! Remigiusz Mroz is very famous there and his books. Thriller books similar to harlan coben whom i love.

Really interesting thread! Thank you

Hi op, can you please explain what you said about UK being stricter with their kids and helping young people? What are the differences between UK and Poland please? :)

Someone has asked about benefits. We do have them in place but we dont fund comfortable living for those who can but dont work, but i am afraid disabled people are also very disadvantaged by that. I have disabled aunt and she always struggle, a lot. My other family member with severe disabled daughter also doesn’t have as much help as needed. But they fund (EU funding) young people who wants to work. My sil is a physiotherapist and was able to apply for a generous amount of money to open her own thing. She does have to have it open for couple of years though otherwise she would have to pay the money back (if you keep your business going you don’t pay it back). My brother bought a flat from a recent scheme for young single adults. Not much deposit, locked rate of 2% as long as it is his main residence and he lives there alone (there are time limits too but don’t remember now), he got married and it is no longer his main residence so the rate went up to market rate but he rents it out so basically someone is paying it off for them now.

our retirement age is couple of years less than here. State pension varies depending on the contribution but it is pretty small though.

our prescriptions can be pricey, we dont have set amount.

people are worried though because all the money government gives to people is borrowed from eu. What is going to happen long run? Some has very pessimistic views. But my knowledge of economics and politics is below my understanding of all this.

to pass a driving test you need a driving school and min of x amount of hours driving before you can have an exam (obviously theory needs to be passed in advance) but you can’t legally drive with someone else than an instructor next to you.

can you link my reply? 🤔 i meant polish parents help their young adults more than here. Its more common here to be left by yourself once you are 18-20 years old, or pay towards the cost of living. In poland it is common to live with parents a long time if possible or parents to pay for your accommodation close to uni etc. I have not heard of kids giving any money once they have even a part time job just because they live with parents. Obviously if you really can’t afford it then yes, i guess your child would help