I’m a single mum claiming a UC top up AMA

[cadburyegg]

There’s a lot of negative press and misinformation about benefit claimants so thought I’d start a thread. I work nearly full time and have 2 children. Ask away.

The patriarchy has a vested interest in seeing single mothers fail.

I earn more part time than some people earn full time. My post at 21:27 yesterday explains why I don’t work full time.

I’d be eligible for more help from UC, and cost the taxpayer more, if I worked full time, due to the cost of childcare.

I agree with you. Me too. Some MPs are trying to change things, I think.

I can’t really answer why my ex doesn’t feel the need to provide for his children other than the fact that CMS have told him he doesn’t need to, so he doesn’t. There doesn’t seem to be any sense of personal responsibility. He also resents the fact that I “got the house” - but I bought him out and he got more than a fair settlement.

I was very cautious before having children. We were married, owned a house and had some savings. We both worked full time before our eldest was born. Our children were both planned. We didn’t claim any benefits other than CB. My ex was working full time until about 2 years ago.

When we first broke up I spent a lot of time looking back at our relationship, and I can’t think of any red flags or hints that this might happen. However, I try not to focus on it too much, because I’m trying to look forward.

I appreciate your comment and I understand your point of view. With regards to grandparents - my dad died a few years ago. My ex FIL isn’t in good enough health to help with childcare. My ex MIL doesn’t help either because she doesn’t want to or because she’s too busy with ex FIL, I’m not too sure. My mum does help, she does 1-2 school pick ups a week for me, and the odd day in the holidays. But she is still working also and finds my children quite hard work to have for long periods of time I think! But it is thanks to her that my childcare bill isn’t higher. Arguably she fills the gap my ex doesn’t.

A system does exist already, called collect and pay, where maintenance can be taken from the NRP’s salary. However it only really works with people who are employed through PAYE. Not the self employed or those hiding their income.

Glad this thread could help you! I imagine we will have to apply closer to the time next year. No idea really, as I haven’t claimed it before. Maybe a system a bit like the funded 30 nursery hours.

With regards to equity, if I lived in rental accommodation I’d be entitled to housing costs and cost the tax payer more than if I lived in a mortgaged house.

I don’t really see the things you have mentioned as luxuries, other than the £5.99 Netflix subscription. I don’t see that my UC/CB is what is enabling me to pay for those things- it’s my salary. If I lost my job, next month i’d receive £1032 in UC and £170 in CB. I couldn’t pay for my mortgage, essential bills and food with that.

Benefit claimants range from people who have fled domestic violence and who now live in a refuge with multiple children to people earning good salaries claiming DLA for disabled children because their outgoings are so high. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. I hope this thread has helped people understand that benefits aren’t just for those with absolutely nothing, they also serve to help people who work but don’t earn enough to cover rising costs, to top up to an income which the government feels acceptable dependent on circumstances.

What the claimant is able or chooses to do with the money is up to them. In most circumstances the children’s primary carer knows best how to use the money to support them.

If (for example) a family with 2 parents working full time can’t afford swimming lessons then I totally sympathise but their household income will be higher, so I don’t think their situation is comparable to mine.

I do my best to spend my CB and UC allowance responsibly. I realise some people won’t agree with my choices. That’s ok, I don’t always agree with theirs. There is a thread running at the moment with some people asserting that parents should prioritise spending on swimming lessons. It just shows you can’t please everybody.

Unfortunately “othering” single parents like this happens a lot.

My DC's had swimming lessons too. I didn't realise kids of lone parents on UC were meant to drown.

Depends how old your children are.
If they are over 12 I believe, you are expected to have a full time job.

All I can say is this...my husband and I both work (both ft hours on low wages although I am not paid over school hols). We pay almost £1.5k private rent per month and Council Tax is £250 (can't afford to buy). We share a 5 yo daughter and get no support whatsoever in terms of benefits. No way could we afford swimming lessons or Netflix, and we definitely cannot afford to save!
So, from my pov, it doesn't seem quite fair but that's just my opinion.

Have you tried applying? Id be amazed if you aren't entitled to anything.

@PractisingMyTelekenipsis Unsure re threshold as we both earn?

Not even child benefit?
It's quite easy to check whether you are entitled to any support. You say yourself you're not sure of the threshold. They're not going to come and offer you any benefit you're entitled to but are not claiming.

@rickyrickygrimes Im not the OP but I do work full time and am a single parent. In my eyes I am no less of a family that you allude to in your post at 10.31 today:

’So tax payers are paying for shit dads, absent grandparents, for single parents to live on their own as well as a family could. ‘

I can assure that what is received from UC in no way enables single parents to live as well as a (did you mean two parent?) family does.

You do you realise that those receiving UC are more than likely to be taxpayers?

And families come in all shapes and sizes - there are also two parents families working and paying tax that will be in receipt of UC.

So it is far more nuanced than a shift in what used to be the norm of two parents (because women had so little agency) and family living close by (people move for work or cheaper housing these days).

Use Entitledto to see if you are eligible. From what you have said I would be surprised if you werent

If the UC system can force single RPs to work more (or they don't get UC) there must be some way to force non-RPs to work more. Fraud prosecutions, removal of assets...

Anyway we also use childcare vouchers for similar reasons (don't want to opt out) but you can just ask for £1 a month and stay in it. I am using my balance to pay for PGL for my DC2 which is partly so she gets a break from DC1 who has SEN.

Surely a single person has to earn more than that

I have to earn over £1600 and a single mum to an 8yr

think I have to work a minimum of 30hrs

Why do you think yours would be different? it’s the same amount for everyone!

I didn't say she wasn't.

I didn't say you weren't.

The quoting maybe went awry.

My "she is a working family" was a response to notreallywhynot who said* *"she is getting benefit which allows her to save and have things that some working families cannot afford."

You don't see that your UC is letting you pay hundreds of pounds for swimming lessons?

That doesn't make sense or does that part come out of your wages and the UC pays for your food which is a necessity?

I can tell you're not daft and you have a handle on all of this but surely you can see why your situation where you can SAVE for your children every month plus the above is NOT what people see as necessary. You must see this?

Your children aren't going to drown between home and school. It's not a necessity.

I can well imagine there are others here with less than you thinking WTF.

Perhaps I should have added working families without UC to clarify.