I’m a single mum claiming a UC top up AMA

[cadburyegg]

There’s a lot of negative press and misinformation about benefit claimants so thought I’d start a thread. I work nearly full time and have 2 children. Ask away.

i’m not sure how relevant this is to this thread - my children definitely cost me more per month than the £340 help I get in UC and CB.

School meals £65ish per month for both depending on how many they have
Swimming lessons £35 per month for my eldest and £172 per term for my youngest
Childcare £55ish per month in term time and more in the holidays
Savings £25 per month into their ISAs

I’m sure some people would describe some of the above as unnecessary luxuries but I haven’t included housing costs, clothing or food.

This is correct BUT some people who do get child maintenance do NOT claim UC even if they are technically entitled, because they don’t need the money. there are no statistics on this but there is a lot of benefits that go unclaimed. A friend of mine for example could technically claim but she doesn’t because she doesn’t need to. She works very part time, has no housing costs and gets about £1500 a month maintenance.

Yes I believe so

Anyone begrudging children a couple of hundred quid a month doesn't say I'm happy.

I hope things get better.

To anyone condemning single mums. This is the type of judgemental bullshit we experience day in and day out. Regardless of our actual circumstances and why we are now on our own with the kids. Meanwhile our exes are super heroes if they rock up with a McDonald's Happy meal twice a year. Anyone looking down their nose at us should realise that their cosy ivory tower could be shattered at any minute. You don't know what accident, diagnosis, affair or other life changing event is round the corner. Have some compassion and empathy.

i didn’t. My ex and I were happily married when our children were born. They were both planned. We didn’t claim any benefits apart from CB. Both of us were working, my ex was working full time. I dropped to 22 hours after my eldest was born. When my youngest started reception I got a better job on 30 hours. I earn more now than I did when we were together.

It’s very outing to post my exact job title along with all the other information I’ve posted because it’s a niche role, so that’s the only thing I’m not willing to answer. But it’s similar to a web developer and the web developers where I work are on the same grade as me.

There’s no simple answer to this because it depends entirely on circumstances. See my post yesterday at 20.34.

There isn’t a system in place to enforce any of the above unfortunately. I agree that more is expected of women. I don’t think that it’s in their best interests to spend more time with him for various reasons but that’s irrelevant because he won’t have them more and I can’t just leave them on his doorstep.

Tale as old as time really. I don't blame you at all as you seem to be doing your best so this isn't aimed at you. Just more so that this system - or lack of - needs to change. Or the societal expectation of having children needs to be re-evaluated.

I don't know... something drastic needs to be done since more men seem to have a "personality change" mid-relationship/mid-kids. Maybe a contract needs to be entered before having kids so it can be enforced when they do (apparently inevitably) default. Funny but serious really.

I never even knew this before this thread!

That's a massive difference from now

This will help so much.

Will we have to apply for free school meals next year? How will it work?

limescale
and raising children?
The £660 is a mortgage. Running a home is (usually) more expensive if you are the owner rather than a tenant.

It isn’t more expensive than the rent you’ll pay vs a mortgage (from a homeowner). Not saying anything about the op’s situation, I think she deserves anything she gets but even with the everyday crap that goes wrong with a house you won’t have huge outgoings every single month or even relative to what you’d pay in rent. And our house was in huge disrepair when we bought it!

Didwesayitall
I don't know... something drastic needs to be done since more men seem to have a "personality change" mid-relationship/mid-kids. Maybe a contract needs to be entered before having kids so it can be enforced when they do (apparently inevitably) default. Funny but serious really.

Ive spoken to sk sj so many friends and people on this- I think men have the same as women midlife- a menopause, sure their testosterone changes hugely and they feel hard done by and unheard but we talk about it and figure out how to get back to ourselves (although to be fair we don’t always either)whereas they just have their midlife craziness to try to get back to the way they were before and ignore the fact that they’re older

So you have a good deal of equity , you pay hundreds in swimming lessons for your children, you have a Netflix subscription and you save money for your children each month and you are on UC ? You see this is what people don't understand. They look at statements like this and think what?

Yes it should cover basic food only and certainly not housing costs. We need to deter those who expect their housing to be covered from having kids.

Instead direct the housing money to incentivise full time workers through tax code adjustments to have kids.

OP does not get her housing costs paid for.
Where do you propose people with children who find themselves on hard times live?

Yes. My ex was so angry when he realised I could survive working PT and with tax credits for childcare fees when my dc's were tiny. He wanted me to come crawling back.

Excellent idea. Where should they live? You seem to have it all worked out here. I'm.sure there is a plan for housing in your head for those on their uppers if they're only allowed money for basic food?

Median wages as reported by the media are usually based on two adults but no kids (I think that's the usual standard household, though I could be wrong and some media outlets might use different standard households).
The OP is pretty close to that in household size (two younger children don't quite add up to one adult, I seem to remember).

I used this calculator and assumed her council tax was the mean for England. It says she's in the bottom 18% of income nationally.

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in#tool-results-section

It's not about the housing costs - it's more about the fact that she is getting benefit which allows her to save and have things that some working families cannot afford. It's this kind of thing that people see and what is detrimental to those in real need.

She IS a working family.

I am not, not allowed to have more than £6k in savings. It’s just my UC will reduce if it goes over this. I think that’s reasonable to be honest. I wouldn’t say it upsets me, more than it worries me that I don’t have a safety net at the moment.

Uni fees if they go they will be able to get loans for and I will help them with everyday costs but they will qualify for a substantial loan I imagine.

Everything else they will mostly have to fund themselves, just like I had to and all of my peers 🤷‍♀️ I will always help them as much as I can. Impossible to say at this point what my circumstances will be then.

By the time they are adults i won’t qualify for UC and I will be hopefully working full time.

Nothing about the above upsets me, it’s just the way it is.

Not in my experience. The vast majority of families I know with 2 parents in the household have one parent working full time and the other part time.

As for your first point, see my posts yesterday made at 21:27 and 21:50

It's amazing how many people thing that just because your husband decides that children and family are not exciting enough and bogs off leaving you to it, you are now no longer a nice family and should don sackcloth and ashes accordingly.