I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

This is a brilliant question. Thank you for asking this.

No I don’t always do bedtime and my oldest has regularly had sleepovers with his grandparents since he turned two. I’d say on average he only feeds five nights a week out of seven. The other nights he’s away or I’m off doing something else.

I have also been abroad for up to two full weeks without him and I didn’t express at all. After the age of one, the milk supply can adapt, although this isn’t always the case for absolutely everyone.

In a Western society in 2025 it is a very unusual thing to do. We live where we do.
I agree with people who have mentioned that if school friends get to know, it could be very damaging to them because of how their friends would react. It would be horrible for them. Very horrible and confusing.
As such it is a selfish thing to do, and I wonder if you are doing it for your own benefit rather than for your child.
Your child will get all the nutrients needed from food ( or should do ) by this age.

Put yourself in their shoes and imagine the worst. If they were teased at school because of it. And no good saying that it should not happen, think if you are happy to chance it.

I fed mine for 9 months as I returned to work. One was a bottle refuser who had to be (traumatically) starved off the breast and the second gave me constant mastitis - they had teeth at 4 months and we’d never quite got the hang of them.

to be honest I’m never surprised when children are breastfed for that long. So many babies love breastfeeding and wouldn’t ever give it up, given the chance.

So really if mum doesn’t want to go through the difficulty of forcing them (and if you can manage it without too much disruption why would you?) then they’ll naturally be going for 5/6 years. I know both mine would’ve.

Normally have some milk teeth until about 12yo. DS still has one and he is late teens as doesn’t have corresponding adult one. Are there some particular milk teeth which are the ones that need to fall out for breast feeding not to be possible? Surely you don’t wait until they are 12

Where are you getting that the biological age of weaning is age 7/8? The National Institute of Health states that natural term weaning ends between age 2 or 4 when it's child led.

This also tallies with research into early humans, which found most mother's have a second baby around that time as they stop feeding, periods return etc.

Also monkeys similar to us wean children between age 2-4 as well, there's really no evidence that breastfeeding past age four is natural. I don't particularly judge someone who does, but it's beyond the natural weaning age.

You prude!

Thanks for answering my question. I’m glad you have some of your freedom back even if you’re still feeding. Now answer the sex life one!

Does it weird you out at all that your child as he grows up will have clear memories of your nipple in his mouth? I’m sort of glad my mum stopped early enough that I have no recollection of it as I think it would weird me out to remember that!

It is something that, if disclosed by the child at school, would be noted on the school’s safeguarding system. That doesn’t mean the parents would be spoken to or approached, or others in school made aware of, bar those in the safeguarding team.

Schools record a lot of stuff that children say. Most of these will be read and nothing further happens. Others can help form a bigger picture if there are any concerns, etc.

@TandemFeeder do you ever worry how your son will feel about this when he’s older and realises it wasn’t the norm?

My cousin never lost all his milk teeth he has 4 he`s 28.
My aunty has still got 5 milk teeth at 54.
Dentist said it is not rare and very normal.

No it wouldn’t. That’s completely untrue. Please do source the relevant section from KCSIE if you want but I’m telling you categorically this is not in anyway a safeguarding concern.

😂

If there is, I am genuinely open to hearing about it.

Hahaha, being breastfed for a few minutes before bed is definitely not a safeguarding issue!

@TandemFeeder - let’s say your child is a girl, and it’s not unheard of now for girls to get their period at 7. Would you still breastfeed if she started menstruating (but, for argument’s sake) still wanted to feed from you?

https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/guest/priscilla_colletto.html

This article is quite interesting. Basically it's biologically and evolutionarily pretty normal, so it shouldn't be surprising that plenty of cultures have historically had no issue with it. Why would they, frankly? Is there something inherently weird about breastfeeding, which we suspend for an accepted length of time before resuming our sexualisation of breasts? Sounds like patriarchy in action to me.

Why? And when will you stop?

It’s for attention

My sister did this (not until five though) and it was her entire identity.

It’s weird AF.

incidentally if you’re logging it you’re required to contact parents so don’t make false statements about things being logged and not communicated. You clearly don’t work in safeguarding.

I know a pp says they remember and are v uncomfortable about that.
I also know someone who remembers and says it was like a million of the best hugs and kisses.. so it's not the same for everyone plus the pp feels the mum tried to keep them babies for longer etc and I wonder what the relationship is like now.
People saying bitty are just embarrassing themselves.

This. It may be biologically possible, and deemed “natural”, but humans are highly sophisticated and developed, with societal norms that we have to contend with. This is not normal.

Are you ever afraid that your son may not thank you for this? I know if my son found out/remembered that I breastfed him until he was 6 years old he’d likely be pretty disgusted. Does your husband not think this is odd? I know you say there are health benefits but this is really negligible at this age.

Because it’s attention seeking behaviour. Which is why she’s made a Reddit post.

I quoted some stats above, but the natural weaning age for humans is between 2-4 years. So bf a child over age 4 is definitely beyond what humans would be doing in nature