I'm a secret SAHM alcoholic

[Theblondewino]

Married, two kids, stay at home mother and functioning alcoholic. Both my kids are happily playing with toys in front of me while I sip on my second vodka and sprite and wrap gifts for nieces birthday tomorrow

Children of alcoholics are more likely to become alcoholics themsleves.

I always had a very small friend group when I was younger and we all kind of went off in our separate directions, I stay in touch with one friend but live hundreds of miles apart

I understand the loss of your mother is very difficult especially when you have small children. I sought counselling after my mum died and have found it very helpful maybe you could start there. I've seen someone lose everything due to their drinking and the absolute devastation left behind you dont want that for your children. You were strong enough to post here so take another step and reach out to someone in life.

@Theblondewino Your kids can sense you being 'off' even though you don't think they do. They just don't have the vocabularity to express themselves.
Im a child of a 'secret' alcoholic. I knew. Everyone knew. And we HATED it. I hated the way their walk would change after a drink, the way they smelled, the way they were super chirpy whilst my discomfort and anxiety rose at the same level. Yuck!!! Still gives me the chills.
The alcohol is not the problem. At the moment it is your solution to uncomfortable/unprocessed feelings. You need to find another solution. A healthier one. Therapy is a good place to start.

Are you certain your dh has no idea? Does he not notice the empties?

How are you funding it?

How can you afford it?

I’m confident you will be able do it, keep increasing the number of days between drinking days and when you do drink space them out as much as you can, eventually it will stop having a hold on you, your partner should also cut down, maybe suggest a dry February

No judgement here OP. Well done for admitting that you have an unhealthy and damaging relationship with alcohol. Next step is to get the help you need. Get rid of the alcohol in the house for a start off. Please make an appointment with your doctor. I think you need to be honest with them about your problematic drinking. You can do this. There is a wonderfully supportive section of mumsnet for those who need support in stopping drinking. There are some really good podcasts and books that might also be helpful that are recommended on the threads.

Alcoholic anonymous.
Get some help for you and your husband
Don't do this to your kids.
It's a ticking time bomb

Together, we find strength and hope. You are one step away. Call free 0800 917 7650, email [email protected] or ask any questions in the live chat box.

You are coming across here really well OP. If this is your first step I’m impressed. I think you could take the next step, I really do.

I know and it makes me feel upset because it’s almost like alcohol isn’t an addictive substance. Sometimes I feel like people don’t really understand what an addictive substance is and how it works. X

I love this comment! And I agree.

The sober days are yours, you've earned them and the lapse doesn't take them away. You can do this..keep trying. It doesn't have to be all or nothing today. It's still worth stopping today.

This I really don’t want to judge my best friend was similar but I’m a adult who’s back living with my parents whilst my new flat gets ready and my mum is a functioning alcoholic and my children question a lot of why nanny is the way she is. It destroyed me as a child and trying to protect myself from it has been absolutely soul destroying and exhusting

I do drive. I DO NOT drive when drinking. I don't drink every single day, the days I don't drink I feel better about life and about everything in general, this is my first day drinking since the 2nd of January.

Is this the truth? Only you know.

When you have young children and once you start the school run, it is hard to avoid driving every single day.

@Seeuontheboard honestly her close family would be happy if her story helps someone else before the worst happens.

I was an alcoholic and have been in recovery for 9 years. I was also a mother of two children. Now I can see the damage that I caused to both, now adults. I will never ever get over the guilt I feel. Look up the charity 'We Are With You', I self referred myself, no GP or social workers. The We Are With You (WAWY) charity has a whole team of people for one person available within the organisation. They will welcome and not judge, some have lived-in experience so know exactly how you feel - they can guide you for mental health issues, medical issues, detox, re-hab, homelessness, all types of addiction. Please try them, you are so worth it and for your children. Don't worry about your husband right now, you are the important one. If you're not in a good place then your family aren't either.

Yes, I didn't touch it months before conception as I didn't want my children to suffer any effects

Yes I get a really red face when I drink but I go on the peloton before just as he gets home and he thinks it's red from exercise facepalm

@Theblondewino so do I.

Negative comments do not help. Nobody chooses to be an alcoholic. Something happened.

OP, you have a 1 year old and did not drink in pregnancy. You can therefore, claw this back for sure.

😘

FWIW I have known alcoholics that do not stink or fall over with glazed eyes.

Unfortunately alcohol has become very normalised and sold as fun, making us more sociable etc by alcohol companies.

The reality is that it is a very addictive drug but when people become addicted to other drug's we recognize that the substance was addictive. Sadly when someone becomes addicted to alcohol society in general reverts to "they must have an addictive personality". It's not that fact that alcohol is addictive in the first place is the issue🤔

I say this as the daughter of an alcoholic who drank himself to the point I had to switch of his life support do not put your kids through that. Do you know what triggered you to o drink today? Do you go out with your kids?