My father was an alcoholic. My memories of him were a man who worked very long hours and earned a good living but who squandered most of it on alcohol.
He would sit up late drinking whisky and cheap cider every night. He was initially cheery with the first drink but slowly his tone would change. He would become angry and aggressive towards my mum or say the craziest drunken nonsense. He would generally fall asleep in a drunken stupor on the chair in the livingroom.
I loved my dad dearly but he ruined days out, holidays, weekends away by either being drunk or hungover. He would spend the whole 2 weeks of Christmas and new year drunk as he was on holiday. Every new year would end with him and my mum fighting because she was so fed up with his drinking (she barely drank and still doesn't). I still hate new year to this day due to all the bad memories associated with it.
He was constantly hungover and snappy the next morning. When we did go on family holidays etc he seemed to always be looking for the next drink or an excuse to drink. He set our utility room on fire by putting the chip pan on when he was drunk and falling asleep. He nearly set the kitchen on fire by making cheese and toast whilst drunk in the grill then falling into a drunken sleep. Thankfully my mum had the sense to install fire alarms all over the house.
He was a functioning alcoholic until he wasn't!!!
He had a great career till he lost it through drink.
He has a marriage until my mum left him because of his drinking.
He had money and a nice lifestyle until he drank it all.
He had his health until his kidney and liver packed in due to liver cirrhosis at 53 years old.
He had young adult kids who watched him turn bright yellow and we're forced to make the decision to switch of his life support machines when they should have been making decisions about what film to watch with friends at the cinema that night.
He has lots grandkids he never saw because he died of multiple organ failure caused by alcohol abuse before they were born.
He has daughters he never got to walk down the aisle because he died before they married.
He died having of only caught a glimpse of his children as adults. He was a shell of the man I remember when I was very little before alcohol addiction took hold on him.
Watching what happened to my dad traumatised me for many years and it still has in some ways. Alcohol is addictive but it sounds like you can still stop. Please have a read of Catherine Gray the unexpected joy of being sober.