My daughter only eats pizza. AMA

[IThinkILikeThisLittleLight]

She has ARFID

Posting to give some insight into what life with ARFID is like

Interestingly in the 70s my mum lived off toast most of her childhood

And my aunt, her sister, ate nothing but tinned chicken soup for 3 years!!

So maybe there is some hereditary element.

Thank you for starting this thread and sharing your story - and all the other parents who have chipped in too. I'm not sure whether DS would meet the diagnostic criteria for ARFID but he is heading that way. I have struggled with eating disorders for years and so it wouldn't surprise me. He has about three hot meals that he will eat and one packed lunch that he'll eat. He probably hasn't eaten anything 'new' for a year or so. I worry about calories a lot, he's quite short and slight for his age and he won't eat anything high calorie other than cheese.

How do you find other members of your family cope with it? My mother is not at all sympathetic and just thinks it's an example of my bad parenting.

On what planet is that healthy? Of course she was mentally ill!

And no it wasn’t because vegetables have few calories - that’s true of many foodstuffs - it was becaue they were pure - think orthorexia - she’d eat organic mangetout and bought a travel water purifier because mineral water might have impurities in it. She became afraid of a lot of foodstuffs.

No question, but just really think how you’re handling it and not pressuring is great.

this is something I’ve struggled with my whole life, as an adult with less pressure I’ve found it much easier to try things, still struggle a lot, the past couple of weeks I’ve been existing solely on potatoes, but I cope a lot more without the pressure.

🙄 smoking is far worse, don't be ridiculous.

He has been tube fed for 5 years now (he is 14) at first he had some sensory issues with it but he quickly got used to it and realised that it was keeping him healthy.

it has meant all pressure around eating orally is removed which has led to him actually feeling more able to occasionally try something new.

You’re missing the point - people are drawn to what foodstuffs feel “safe” to them.

What are her teeth like?

I don’t know about the OP’s DD but my son hasn’t needed any dental care apart from 2 checks up a year and cleaning. But his teeth were a priority for me from the time he was very little because I knew that good dental hygiene could be extremely difficult for those on the spectrum and I’d initially clean his teeth with my finger before progressing to a cotton bud etc etc etc.

And you don't k ow what foodstuffs would be safe for you if you had ARFID.

Its not me, its the scientists. take it our with them.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/26/bacon-ham-sausages-processed-meats-cancer-risk-smoking-says-who

My son will also only drink water and the small apple juice cartons! I've bought the large ones, has the exact same picture on thinking it may be ok, poured it and he gagged at the sight of it. Even though he knows its apple juice, he just can't bring himself to try it. Lots of people really don't understand it, but if i say hes autistic they seem to understand that sensory issues affect his eating so we don't really explain much further. It's so hard isn't it, he used to be so extremely avoidant that it was impacting the rest of our eating (in order for him to not vomit). Lots and lots of hard work, other people can now have vegetables on their plates at the same table. We've dieticians involved now thankfully.

I used to work with children with ARFID and some of the treatments out there were acres and acres of desensitisation. So not even considering eating foods, just being able to look at a picture of something, be in the same room, touch etc. takes weeks and weeks and weeks of work and the individual has to want to change and engage in all that challenge. And even then when you build up to even slighting tasting it, they still might heave and be back to square one.

It's an extremely serious eating disorder.

How much involvement have you had from professionals? I'm worried that asking for help / support may be counterproductive unless the GP / dietician is fully on board with ARFID.

Do you think that's helpful?

There's nothing I can do.

Would you give your child a cig a day if it stopped them starving to death? I know tou would

It's the lesser of 2 evils.

You can’t be sure but you can take a guess.

It definitely wouldn’t be processed pizza and waffles as I don’t eat that now.

Babes, just stop.

Yes she doesn't like seeing it and the carton stops her being able to smell it too much too.

My brother was like this throughout his childhood, OP, but did grow out of it when he had a girlfriend after university. It's hard to know whether he had ASD as we did have a very disturbed childhood and it could have been a result of that. I really hope your daughter makes a recovery soon.

I feel like this thread isn't helpful to you, you clearly think ARFID is a choice and nothing any parents have said has changed your mind so maybe you could start a thread about your diet to help inspire others to be better people elsewhere :)

Eww “babes”?

Thank you for this thread OP, I'm at the begining of this journey with my 3yr old. We've had problems right from the begining of weaning as a baby. My question is more about you rather than the condition if that's ok?

You sound like you are a fantastic support for your daughter and I'm trying to be the same for my child. How do you cope with all of this and stay strong? I can imagine you fear for your daughter's future and health as I do with my child.

Also, so far we have had support and advice on what to do for our child, but how do you find support for you as a parent, if any?

At what point have I said it was a choice?

I think there is - my Dad was always very restricted in what he ate and I also have a cousin who has about six safe foods, now I'm pretty much the same.

It's so interesting...

Neither did my son eat the foods that in time became the only thing he’d eat.

You’re really not understanding AFRID and I’m pretty sure it’s deliberate given the tone of your replies from the get go. But we’ve noticed you, though not in a good way and someone really should have told you over the years that not all attention is good attention.

Oh dear I was reading all this thinking ’3 is surely too young to be worrying?’ McNuggets, cream crackers and bottled peaches only here ☹️