My daughter only eats pizza. AMA

[IThinkILikeThisLittleLight]

She has ARFID

Posting to give some insight into what life with ARFID is like

I'm sorry, that must be really hard for you. I hope and your DD don't have to deal with any judgemental comments or behaviour from anyone in your lives, I can imagine it must be so difficult all round.

She's my 3rd so I do remember she did try things at first because her siblings were having it and I don't remember any specific event that may have triggered it but it just got worse as the years went on.

Does she ever try new things just in case she likes them or her tastes have changed? How does she handle social situations which involve eating? What about things like school residential? Would she eat a toasted pita without the cheese and tomato? I find ARFID really interesting.

I don't think she ever has you know. She's got a very supportive friends group.

My question was going to be , is she autistic?
Just diagnosed here.

Do you ever go on holiday? If you went out for a meal would she be able to come but not eat?

I don’t blame her on the ketchup I’m the same!

fellow ARFID parent here - ds is actually mainly tube fed now which makes things much easier!

She doesn't.

I used to try to encourage her but this has span years and I've learnt that she's not going to do it, so I'm just putting pressure on her and causing tension.

I think about 2 months ago she had some sliced apple.
I cored one, took all the skin off. Cut it into wedges and she did eat a few slices.

But she used to eat apples a few years ago but we list them.

I was hoping she would eat them regularly again. But it seems to have been a one off thing.

That's an interesting question about the dry pitta. I'm not sure. I'm 100% sure she wouldn't touch the puree alone. She might eat some shredded cheese. But she definitely wouldn't make a cheese sandwich or something.

We had our first holiday abroad about 4 years and it was difficult.
There was a mcdonalds and at that point she would eat that more easily. So she had a happy meal in the evening.

She wouldn't touch the pizza there or any other food.

So for breakfast she had pan au chocolate. For lunch she had chips. And in the evening we would walk to McDonald's for a happy meal but at some point halfway through she said it didn't taste right and so the rest of the holiday was just chips.

She has her asd assessment next month. It's been a long wait on NHS.

She wouldn't go on a residential, partly because of the food and partly because of her other issues. She wouldn't want to do it.

Socially she avoids eating out with friends. We dont really do meals out as a family as it wouldn't include her unless we went to mcdonalds.

Though if we ever do she would order something sweet like chocolate waffles instead of a proper meal.

That sounds so difficult. I watched my poor sister go though this with my niece and in honesty, it’s as hard on the parents as the affected children. People can be so judgemental, although thankfully, awareness seems to be improving.

With therapy, niece very gradually widened her choice of safe foods. She is now fit and well in her 30s with a partner and a career.

So anyway, no specific questions but sending you 🌸💐

Thankyou.

I'm hoping she will grow out of it.

My husband had a vary limited palette as aa child and he is more adventurous now.

Do you have to struggle with judgemental/ unhelpful comments etc?

Not rtft but I'm in a similar position with my 15 yo DS. He eats chicken nuggets, but only 1 brand, and sausage rolls, both with chips. Also garlic bread.He also will eat sweet stuff (sweets and ice cream) and some fruit but that's about it.
He also says vegetables make him feel sick. He is sensitive to textures and tastes. I know he hates being like this as he was on holiday with his dad and DD and DD told me he was getting very upset one night when they were looking for a restaurant where they could all eat. He was begging his dad to just pick somewhere and he would just have some garlic bread. It's heartbreaking.

No, never.
She's been this way for so long that family just take it as 2nd nature.

Her high school have been fantastic

Her friends support her. Some even bring in chocolate waffles incase she gets hungry at school (but she won't eat there)

That made me so sad, poor dude. It's heartbreaking for them

She's cried many times because she WANTS to eat normally but can't.

Does she realise that, as she is getting older, (and I’m not minimising her problems - I have an autistic sensory food 10yo, but to be fair, will TRY new things, so I get it’s not the same) it’s up to her to push herself to try new things?

I ate pepperoni pizza, plain rice and brown sauce sandwiches for four years. Asking me to try something new or out something new in my plate was happening. I'm better now but still revert back to phases of it.

Also similar. My DS is my 2nd child and he was actually better as a toddler than his big sister. But she has improved massively and he's just got worse and worse. Dropping things he liked previously like fish fingers and bolognaise. He is also autistic. It's so so hard x

I appreciate the thought process behind this but it's not that simple.

She accidentally took a sip of apple and mango juice recently (instead of apple) and was heaving in the toilet for a solid 20 minutes.
She brought it up o many times, like a traumatic event, gone over how it happened, how we can stop it happening again in the future etc

It's very much a mental issue as well as physical.

It's like telling her to just push herself and not be Autistic anymore. Or push yourself out of anxiety or depression.

It may be possible but with the amount of things she has going on in her life right now it's not my, or her, priority.

She's eating and that's good enough.

Has she always taken her vitamins ok?

My DD is similar (not as extreme) but she absolutely refuses to take vitamins.

My friend growing up was very similar to your DD and used to be accused of all sorts and her mum used to be judged for it.
She would refuse to eat her veggies but would eat chips and cake - the nice treats.

People would say, if you allow her to eat these foods then she is of course going to want them over things like veggies.

This was less than 20 years ago but it wasn’t well known still.
We lost touch but I always wonder if she found out that she had this, especially her mum who was judged quite harshly for ‘spoiling’ her.

Oh gosh, that's heartbreaking that she wants to eat normally but can't.

Do you think she is battling demons in her head? At this age I'm sure she knows all about nutrition, even if she doesn't appreciate the longer-term consequences of poor nutrition (which teenager does!). I guess I'm asking if this is a mental health issue, or a physiological issue?

Complete sympathy here - DD is nowhere near as bad as this, though pizza is one of her favourite foods.

We self cater overseas - that has worked reasonably well

In our case, DD seems neurotypical. She really struggled with weaning, and didn't want to - pizza was the first thing she showed any enthusiasm for, and that was at 18 months. She was so bad a dietitian recommended chicken nuggets and chocolate (both a win for us).

Unfortunately the gummy texture is a no here, so DD doesn't have a multivitamin (other suggestions for them very welcome)

Do you travel within the UK?

She has gummy vitamins so basically sees them as a sweet I think.

Yes I think parents get alot of judgement.

But in my case if it's just my bad parenting why do I have 3 other children that eat normally? Wouldn't they all be that way?