My daughter only eats pizza. AMA

[IThinkILikeThisLittleLight]

She has ARFID

Posting to give some insight into what life with ARFID is like

Does she get ill quite often? Just wondering about her gut microbes which thrive on diverse whole foods like nuts, seeds, fruit, veg, anything brightly coloured and detests anything like processed meat and refined carbs.

Just going to add another experience. DD1 has ARFID and is now late teens. She's had the support of an excellent NHS paediatric dietitian from the age of two until she was eighteen. She had a nutritional supplement which thankfully tasted like one of her safe foods so she would drink it. She was very thin whilst growing, especially from about 13 to 15 when she had a growth spurt. However she had lots of energy - swam well, long hikes with guides, etc. Also had plenty of focus for school and is now at university. But ARFID is hard socially, she is very aware of her difficulties and hates that she can't easily go out to eat with friends and how different this makes her look.

My son, and all the others like him who have severe language and communication impairment along with learning difficulties wouldn't understand what any of the above meant.

Who says I’m not understanding?? I’m saying my safe foods would be ones that feel safe for me.

A friend of mine anorexia when she was younger, her safe foods got more limited until she was pumping her own water to ensure it was pure and eating nothing but vegetables.

Does she get constipated? Can't imagine that amount of processed food being good for your gut.

In recent years, nothing.

I tried to encourage her when younger to try new things. It always ended up badly and never successful.

It caused tension in both her life and our relationship.

She's older now and whereas I will always ask her 'do you want to try a bit?' I know the answer will be no.

Sometimes she tries things but EVERY time has been her coming to me. Not once has pushing something on her been a positive situation or helped
Quite the opposite so I've learned to not do it.

Imagine you had a spider phobia but everyone else thought spiders were great and people were constantly showing you their spiders and trying to get you to touch them.

I imagine that must be how she feels some times :(

I'm sorry if I sound preachy or whatever but eating processed meat like pepperoni has been recently proven to be as bad as smoking - it literally causes cancer. I used to love salami and proscuitto but stopped eating anything processed after learning this. But yes, I have no idea and I've never heard about the disorder you daughter has.

Thank you for starting this thread - it has helped me feel much less alone. My DS (9) doesn't have a formal ARFID diagnosis but I'm certain he has it. Like others on this thread, he would rather starve than not eat his preferred foods. Dinner is an endless parade of take out from either McDonalds, Domino's or some kind of chicken fingers (not home cooked - he refuses that) and I have so much guilt over his unhealthy diet. For breakfast he will either eat store bought pancakes or toast and marmite. His school lunch comes home every day untouched unless I pack him leftover pizza. He will very rarely accept an apple, grapes or watermelon but that's about it for fruits and vegetables. He will happily gorge himself on snacks like goldfish crackers, cake, cookies etc. I am sick of the feeling that I am being judged for 'indulging his fussiness'. At other people's houses he will refuse to eat anything except snacks. He also has a really hard time falling asleep at night unless I give him melatonin. It's never been flagged at school as a concern, but I wonder whether he may be autistic. Does this sound like ARFID to you?

That's because she was mentally ill and vegetables have near to zero calories.

How are you misinterpreting that as healthy?

That is the opposite of what an person with anorexia needs.

I'm afraid you're just proving you understand nothing about eating disorders.

Also, has the limited diet impacted her physical/mental development that you are aware of

My son was never ill. It was almost as if he was cloaked in something that protected him from the poor health that could arise from his food difficulties. Now at 33 and still with serious problems with food he’s 6’3” inches tall and very well built.

People will disagree with me but OP is right. There's literally nothing she can do, and forcing the issue won't help - her daughter is 16, not 6! If she is able to, she will manage her eating habits better as she gets older but OP has to ensure she eats SOMETHING.

Sorry you're getting this judgement OP. My mum was quite old school in most ways but I am still so grateful she wasn't a 'clear your plate' mum and met me where I was. She got told she was enabling me but god, she was the only one who got me x

Cold pizza is everything

Imagine you had a spider phobia but everyone else thought spiders were great and people were constantly showing you their spiders and trying to get you to touch them.

This is a really good analogy. It's grim when food, which the rest of the world enjoys, gives you no pleasure. And you can't avoid it and most people have no idea of what ARFID is.

Yes she is Because she literally will not eat anything else.

If I take away her pepperoni she won't eat the pizza base without it.

It's the only hot meal she eats.

So then her diet will be exclusively chocolate bread and pringles.

Is that healthier?

She won't replace her pizza with a nice organic moussaka, she just won't eat.

@Mirabai people don't get to choose their safe foods

With ARFID eating what is traditionally classed as healthy foods actually often isnt that healthy. The reason DS needs to be tube fed is because he can’t physically eat anywhere near enough calories to sustain him. Apples and lettuce just don’t cut it.

yet people have told me it’s lucky what he eats is “healthy”

My ds has arfid op, his only hot meal is McDonald's happy meal with chicken nuggets. Everyone else ehe eats is cold/or room tem. He's had it all his life since starting on solids, has never eaten many things despite everyone's best efforts. I've had people tell me I can starve him into submission, if only they realised how ridiculous that suggestion is to someone who has a child with arfid.

Yes, I'm actually quite happy her safe food is pepperoni pizza. It's keeps her calories up.

If her safe food was tuna, carrots and apples she would be severely underweight.

She's verging on it now and all she eats is 'junk' food that supposedly makes you fat!

You sadly get used to being judged as a mother when your child has ARFID. Funnily enough your second child who has a good diet, is not due to your parenting though their own child's varied diet is as a result of their own superb work as a parent. It's hard not to feel bitter sometimes...

I hadn't thought of that but it makes sense.
Same as anorexia I guess- it's not actually healthy for them to be eating lettuce and celery even though it might look it at first glance

Hi! Mine only eats hot toast and pizza

Absolutely not
I genuinely cannot ever remember her having a sickness bug.

Which is bizarre really. She never gets poorly which I don't understand

@Sirzy sorry I realise your not the OP but I wondered how does your son feel about being tube fed? I assuming for someone with anorexia that would be a massive issue as they would still see it as weight/calories but I'm assuming that's not the case here as people with AFRID seem to want to eat normally/be a normal weight etc

My son went through a period of only eating toast with butter day in and day out for months. We’d even time it in the toaster to get the colour correct.

'Junk food' tends to taste similarly every time. A chip tastes like a chip. Fruit can be hard / squishy / ripe / mushy / sour / sweet etc - sensory nightmare.