I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

@Humdingerydoo I really don't warm to them at all 😔 They are trying too hard, like Moses and Zipporah. I like ones who just do DITLs and show you how it is, not interested in wannabe influencers.

Another kosher question. What 'mainstream' crisps are kosher? Can you just go into Tesco and buy crisps/chocolate or are you very restricted in that department? I was on holiday over Christmas and the crisps were all rubbish, as soon as I came back I bought about 10 multipacks and they were gone in a few days.

there are lots of kosher crisps and sweets that are checked out and there is a list (at isitkosher.uk) where you can check the status. Not everyone relies on the list though.

Walkers crisps and kettle chips are both kosher, just one or two of the flavours. Pringles in the USA are but not in UK :(

Most of cadburys stuff is kosher but we personally don't eat unsupervised dairy products, nor do most very Orthodox Jews. (most Modern Orthodox Jews will though)

She said something like a non kosher kitchen worktop would render a kosher cup of tea non kosher if the cup was swt on the counter?

This is not necessarily true but it is true that the laws of kashrut are very intricate and not everyone knows them all.

You can really go anywere as long as you are happy to eat limited food but I absolutely prefer to go places where we can easily get kosher food. If we are driving I fill up some freezer boxes with cheese, sausages, steaks etc and bring a couple of pots and a frying pan or george foreman grill.

I've driven to European places like France and Switzerland because then we don't have the weight issue and can take along the mini cooker. (My family have food allergies so I never get a cooking break and I'm used to not relying on takeout.)

I've flown to Italy without all our cooking paraphernalia and I used locally bought disposable pots on the rental's stovetop.
You can use a "non-kosher" cooker if there is a boundary in place between the fire and the pot, so I brought along some kind of metal mesh especially for this, and used that as a divider between the pot and the flame.

If I fly abroad and don't want the hassle of cooking I'd stay in a kosher hotel.
I've stayed at some beautiful kosher hotels with my husband - that's the dream holiday! (I could never do it as family because asides from them being expensive, my kids have food allergies so I'd have to do cooking for them anyway.)

What was the hardest part of being Orthodox as a child? I was in an American candy store this morning and it had a massive pick n mix thing and it made me think it must be very hard for a child to see these things and know they are forbidden for you for dietary reasons.

My close friend is a fairly observant liberal Jewish woman. I recall her telling me when she was in college (uni) as she lives in USA it was hard for her not to eat cheeseburgers as she liked them but they’re not kosher! But she’s been married to a Catholic man for years and though observant religion wise she definitely doesn’t have a kosher kitchen now. She doesn’t eat pork but is happy to eat at non kosher restaurants.

@istoodonlegoagain I follow a few Orthodox influencers that I like, so I keep getting recommended more, and I really, really don't warm to That Jewish Family. Some of their remarks on the current conflict have been far over the line of what I think is at all acceptable, and, on a more instagram-judgemental note, I think how they put the camera in their kids' faces to get reactions (sometimes their kids being upset) can be really awful. There are some lovely Hasidic and Orthodox influencers who have a much more natural and appealing style.

Funny story dh once told me. As a five year old, he got out without his parents noticing and started cycling on the busy road on his little tricycle and held up traffic. The police caught hold of his little tricycle and took him to the police station. The policeman offered him some smarties. He was eating them when his mother arrived and the first thing she said to him was 'Smarties are not kosher!' this left an impression on him that this was the first thing she noticed not that he was on his tricycle on the road as a 5 year old and got caught by the police!

It just shows how keeping kosher is just instinctive for the orthodox.

Jesus specifically rejected the rules on eating kosher. That must have been looked at very poorly by his Jewish community.

https://www.bible.com/bible/compare/MRK.7.18-23

Yes I'm sure it becomes instinctive, but it must be a hardship as a child. A Muslim friend of mine said as a child it caused her so much pain that she couldn't have a Happy Meal from McDonald's. A halal takeaway did a knock off but she said it was never the same, the happy meal was a life goal 😀

For me growing up probably the hardest part of being religious was Tznius- the modesty guidelines.
Eating kosher was never really a struggle. We're blessed with an abundance of kosher food options here, and I rarely felt deprived by not being able to eat non-kosher.

I heard a (probably untrue) funny story where a little seemingly non-Jewish child was throwing a tantrum in the grocery shop because they wanted a treat. The mum told the kid, the treat wasn't kosher and the child immediately quieted and calmed down. The Jewish woman watching the incident asked the mum "Excuse me, I see you're keeping kosher, Are you Jewish?" The mum answered, "No I'm not Jewish and I don't really know what kosher is, but I see you Jewish mothers just tell your kids that a treat is not Kosher and your kids just amicably walk away from the sweet. So I tried it with my kid too.."😅

I hadn't looked at them for ages as I decided they weren't for me, but had a look yesterday and I agree. She had a mocking tone on quite a few reels. Who else do you like?

Can I ask what were the modesty requirements for girls in your community? I saw a very old (looks like 80s maybe) documentary set in SH and one mum said at 3 years old her daughters had to wear tights (rather than socks) as that was their standards.
I know orthodox women don't wear trousers, does that mean at home too? Or can you wear pyjama bottoms?

Have any of the families on here been to the holiday place in Llandudno?

We go there every year (Llandudno that is!) as its DD's favourite place, and the flat we used to rent was over the road. I used to love seeing everyone getting together on a Friday night.

Another Q....practicalities of Shabbos......if it doesnt start until sundown, how does that work in the middle weeks of summer when the sun doesnt set until late? Do you keep the kids up or not? Is it age depenedent?

Mind the time 🙃I've had a cousins wedding this week, so been keeping some crazy hours.

Modesty standards in Orthodox Jewry varies massively, some will wear longer skirts, some shorter, some will wear tights, some won't, some cover elbows, collarbone etc. A modern orthodox women would be a lot more relaxed with her modesty, and ultra orthodox would be more stringent.

Largely, the expectation is that you follow your family and local community's custom.

These customs vary, for example, one of the most conservative and traditional stream of ultra-orthodox Jewry is in Stamford Hill. There are some Ultra orthodox chassidim who are exceedingly stringent with modesty and very possibly they ensure their 3 year olds adhere to modesty standards like you described. Many Chassidim who are very particular about modesty would be careful not to lower their standards even at home. This can mean no taking of socks/tights at home (only in bedroom), wearing night dresses instead of PJs, Swim-dresses instead of swimming costumes etc.

Personally (I fall under the ultra orthodox community, although not chassidish) I dress by the guidelines of covering from my collar bone (think crew neck jumpers) until my elbows, and a skirt/dress to my knees. I also wear tights when outside. And obviously my wig.

At home I wear PJs/leggings. I'd walk around at home without tights np, although I'd keep a skirt on.
Since having kids I make sure I'm modestly covered around them. This isn't a must, rather its a sensitivity I've decided to take on. So all my Pjs are long sleeve and trousers. I'm careful to cover my hair with a scarf at home around my kids.
But in my bedroom, when the door locks, everything comes off 😊

Yes I've been to the Llandudno house! Many childhood memories were made there. Quaint old building, that's kind of falling apart now!

In the summer when it gets dark late Shabbos starts really late. There is an option of inviting in the Shabbos earlier which I sometimes do so that the kids can stay up for the meal. But sometimes on the long summer Friday afternoons I'd put on a "mock" Friday night meal for the kids. I'd then put them to bed normal time and just have a quiet dinner with my husband.
Its not a must for the kids to be present, its up to the parents.

I'm not Jewish but I used to live in North London and many of my neighbours were. The local Tesco had a 'Kosher isle'. I've not seen one anywhere else, I expect they do the same in Manchester and any where else with a jewish population.

I also used to pass a kosher Chinese take away.

If anyone wants to make their shopping more interesting (or give your kids something to do) prepackaged foods that are kosher have a 'hechsher', a symbol that says the food is kosher. In the UK the main ones are KLBD or MK I believe.

Next time you go shopping look out for it on your shopping, things like Warburtons bread, and Cadbury chocolates.

I'm ready to be corrected if that's wrong.

Pretty similar for me, although more ‘relaxed’ than @jewishorthomum. I would fall more in the nation religious torani camp in Israel. It has a slightly different ‘flavour’, although probably closer to ultra orthodox.

collarbone, skirts below the knee, sleeves below the elbow, not too tight. I don’t wear tights in the summer (I’m in a different community to jewishorthomum) but I mostly did in Manchester. I also often wear footless tights (for comfort).

my 4 year old wears whatever she likes, she has mini dresses, skirts, jeans, leggings, shorts, socks, short sleeve t shirts. well gradually phase out trousers as she gets older, although she generally only wants skirts (probably because she is going through a Disney princess stage). She doesn’t have to keep any of the laws until she is 12.

out the house I cover my hair, at home sometimes I do sometimes I don’t. It’s a bit like do you sometimes take off your shoes for comfort and sometimes just leave them on. I uncover in front of my kids. I am usually modestly dressed at home, but that’s because I don’t change once I’m at home. I’ll go around in pjs in front of my kids.

if I go to any place with mixed swimming (hotel pool, beach) I wear a swimming dress (mine is a top and skirt)

Yes! Multiple times! We had teo memorable school Shabbat trips (Shabbaton) there when I was a teenager.

We did the same in the UK. In Israel the time doesn’t vary as much so kids are up. Also now I have older kids, who would of course stay up, the younger kids also stay up, although I sometimes put them to bed mid meal. When I make chicken soup I make a big pot so they often have a bowl at the start of shabbos

Those Friday nights with just dh were wonderful

Yes Manchester tescos also have a kosher aisle!
you’re right about the hechsher. Klbd is the London Beth Din. MK is the Manchester one.
a very common hechsher is ou (in a circle) a massive American hechsher. There are also variants indicating whether the milk is supervised (ou-d) or kosher for pesach (ou-p)

I used to use an app called is it kosher.com to check whether products were ‘on the list ‘ - allowed but didn’t have a hechsher, and klbd used to produce a printed book called the list that you could buy every year with updated products.

bendicks butter mints I s in the process of stopping kosher certification on their products, although they might still remain kosher but not have the symbol
someone asked earlier if there is anything that I found hard - yes when my favourite products stop being kosher certified and I can no longer eat them. Mccoys salt and vinegar crisps, and walkers salt and vinegar crisps 😭 went non kosher, that was so upsetting 😫😫😫my parents used to talk about a drink that they loved that went non kosher.