I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

I can imagine it must have been quite stressful but I am very glad it was still in use for the Jewish community.

Ultra orthodox families lead sheltered lives and will do their best not to expose their kids to ideas that don't conform with Judaism. An example of this is that many homes don't have a TV, many will limit SM etc. This is one of the reasons why we send to private Jewish schools.
I personally don't know anyone who has a nanny, so I couldn't tell you why some would prefer non-Jewish over Jewish. If anything it'd think that Jewish nanny who is familiar with the religion and customs would be ideal.

If the mother is not Jewish but the father is then the children are not considered Jewish even though they have Jewish DNA but would it not still be part of their ethnicity? Please correct me if I have worded that in a way that is inappropriate. I would love to understand it better.

What if the father was practicing and the children for example kept kosher and followed the rules of Judaism? Or would the children have to go through the process of converting if they wanted to be Jewish once they are adults?

Of course it will always be part of their genetic makeup aka. ethnicity. But according to Jewish law, having Jewish DNA doesn't make you a Jew. Only being born to a Jewish mother makes you a Jew.
In this case if the children want to join a Jewish community they would be required to convert. Only Jews are commanded to keep the 613 commandments. So the kids, who are non-Jewish, are not required to keep Shabbat or Kosher. According to the Torah, these children are only expected to keep the 7 Noahide laws as all of society are.

(@IJustGottaKnow I appreciate that this is very personal to you. I hope I've been sensitive in giving over the information.)

This doesn't cover their hair, though. Why don't men have to cover their hair?

How do you view Pesach cleaning? I love watching those videos on YouTube, it's so motivating! Although the last time I pulled my cooker out I nearly fainted at the dirt.

I'm not sure how ultra orthodox any of the posters here are, but I've watched and followed some people from UK (Stamford Hill) who have left the community and their pain at being ostracised is so deep. Is wanting to go to college or gain secular qualifications really so bad? What is the genuine fear? Could they not even just get the qualification and take it back into the community to improve education levels? I remember one case in particular where a mother took her child to a public library and it was as if she sold her soul to the devil.

Fascinating thread and actually while there has been some mention upthread of women being second to men, the fact that the lineage must come through the mother places the privilege with the woman does it not?

I think it’s more practicality than privilege….you always know who the mother is (until very recent assisted fertility times anyway)

Well, quite. I'm not particularly religious but through the families I meet in my work it would appear that it's either parent, a choice or the male line is usually dominant regardless of actual proof of parentage.

If you mention Pesach before the end of March you might get banned from this thread.

Just kidding.

Its not really the pesach cleaning I find so stressful, I am pretty chill about it and we 'sell' all our chametz to a non Jew anyway, but the whole turning over the kitchen and so much cooking is quite overwhelming.

I think its a mixture of that and that mothers tend to have more influence over their children.

re non Jewish nannies - it can be hard to find a Jewish woman to work a minimum wage job. Perhaps its not seen as prestigious enough? In general I see that many nannies are immigrants with poor english.

Although lots of religious women might run at home playgroups.

Friend in NY has been a realtor for many years. In Jewish homes she said sofas etc were encased in plastic. Is that for religious reasons @Jewishbookwork ?

Other types of lineage come through men. For example, Cohen (priest) status. All Jews are divided into three groups - Cohanim, (Priests - descended from Aaron the Priest) Levites (descended from Levi the son of Jacob, not the jeans designer) and Israelites (everyone else)

So I am descended from Levi through my dad, I also married a Levite so my kids are Levites. But if my daughters marry non Levites, their kids won't be Levites.

If a Jewish woman marries a non Jewish man and has kids, the kids are Israelites.

Someone did a DNA test on Cohanim and found they mostly carried common markers.

https://www.simpletoremember.com/articles/a/cohanim-dna-connection/

omg I haven't seen that for years. Some very houseproud Jewish sect???

I remember the plastic covered sofas and dining room chairs 😅 it goes together with the doilies and lace cap things on the head and arms of the sofas, insane numbers of side tables and the bowls of glass sweets (the ultimate disappointment). Joking aside I think it is like the Jewish version of the pink or avocado bathrooms and the carpet rug mat things in the toilets and frilly tissue box covers. Just some very very house proud women of a certain generation. No religious reason 😅

I appreciate my children aren't Jewish with me being non-Jewish ( thank you pp for answering). I suppose I meant is DH still considered Jewish by more religious Jews having strayed so far from the fold as it were?

People refer to lapsed catholics as though you can never break away - would it be similar?

Would he be welcomed at an orthodox synagogue for example?

Not explaining myself well.

Yes @IJustGottaKnow he will always be Jewish, whether he practices or not wouldn’t matter. He would be welcome in an orthodox synagogue.

In Stamford hill there is a Jewish sect called Chassidim/Hassidim. These are the most religious of all ultra-orthdoox. You would call them the most "extreme". In those circles mixing with secular society is avoided at all costs, so in some extreme families getting a secular education would be paramount to leaving the community and they may be shunned for it. Fortunately in the majority of orthodox and ultra orthodox circles getting an education, going to a college, or public library would be taken totally in stride and seen as personal choice.

For perspective, you'd class me as ultra-orthodox, my husband wears black & white, I have no TV in my home, try to limit my SM consumption, but I do take my kids to public library (and I'm here in mumsnet), however my husband has no SM at all and does his best to avoid looking at immodest media.

In most circles how much secular exposure one has is up to the individual, and personal choice.

Jewishbookwork
That's interesting about different things transferring through the male line.

So if a Levite man has children with a non-Jewish woman, would their children be still classed as Levite, and therefore Jewish through his line or would the children not be considered either Levite or Jewish because of the maternal line? Or would such a marriage be unlikely?

They wouldn’t be Jewish, so wouldn’t be a Levite either.

They wouldn’t be Jewish, so wouldn’t be a Levite either.
Thank you. Would they still be able to claim, if that's the right word, any heritage from their father that's recognised if they converted and became Jewish.

The laws sound very complicated but very interesting.

If a woman converts are her children then Jewish?

What if she had children before conversion?

I don't know, it's an interesting question. @Jewishbookwork @jewishorthomum any idea?

Depends on when she converted. Once she converts, she is Jewish, so any children born after conversion would be Jewish automatically. According to DH If she had children before conversion, then the children would also need to convert if they want to become Jewish; children over bar and bat mitzva would have the choice of whether to convert or not. Children born before her conversion, but below 12/13 would be raised Jewish but then have the choice to convert or not once they get to bar/bat mitzva.
Not an area I am confident in - other Jews welcome to correct me!