I'm a practising Muslim, ask me anything...

[tt9]

For context, I am late 30s female practising Muslim medical professional and have been practising for most of my adult life (to varying degrees).

Feel like a lot of people have questions that they don't ask as they fear causing offence. also there are some commonly held beliefs regarding muslims/Islam that are urban myths... so ask away. no question too offensive

there are no stupid questions :-) I mean theoretically that would make sense, right? protection from UV rays/pollution. but don't think there is any data on this. and so many other variables involved - health, quality of skin care, genetics etc etc. so couldn't say either way

hiya, as I explained in an earlier post on this thread, it is simply not possible for a Muslim man or woman to marry a non Muslim due to the nature or the Islamic marriage ritual and the fact it includes reproclaiming one's faith in Islam. also as a practising Muslim it is simply not possible to live with someone not practising Islam. this means religious Muslims only usually marry other religious Muslims. as religious christians/Hindus only marry other devotees of their faith. this is not as relevant for non practising muslims.

it seems that you were hurt by the way your friend expressed herself rather than what she said? I think maybe the reason for her reaction would be that should her children marry non Muslims then it means they have lost their connection with their faith? of course if the partner in question accepted Islam, then there would be no problem at all.

I am sure any religious person from other faiths would also feel upset in a similar situation.

one thing to make clear is that this doesn't mean that Islam teaches us to perceive or treat non Muslims as "other" or "less than". its simply a matter of practical compatibility. essentially there are also Muslims from every culture/nationality so not racism anyway.

hope that helps! x

thank you so much! I can't tell you how much that means to me. in my life I have received so many blessings through the prayer of others! and I am very happy to have connected with you in our shared love for God. ♡♡

Thank you for such an interesting and enlightening thread.
Can I ask how you handle Christmas? I assume you don't have a Christmas tree up in your house, exchange cards and presents, get together with family to eat a turkey lunch etc, but do you like seeing the shops decorated, decorations outside people's homes etc? Is it like another day to you, albeit one where all the shops are shut?

according to islamic beliefs/law this situation is completely abhorrent and a total failure on the part of the Muslim community. it demonstrates how far we have strayed from our faith. the death penalty is prescribed for such serious crimes. tbh I don't understand what purpose it serves for them to only be in jail for a few years and then be released back to society to traumatise others?

the whole thing makes me sick. unfortunately Muslim clerics also have form with beatings and sexual abuse in certain countries.

there are so many factors but certain the intrinsic cultural misogyny in South East Asia means these men feel entitled to women's bodies. they abuse women in their own families too, they just don't have the agency to speak out. I've done some work with women from these backgrounds and the level of sexual abuse is unreal... often cousins/uncles and sometimes even dad or brothers. if they complain, they are the ones that are blamed. just awful.

there are also issues around lack of communication from parents about sex/acceptable behaviour around sex eg. consent/importance of love and kindness. often the older generations model very dysfunctional relationships with sexual hypocrisy as a common theme (man married first cousin, but sleeping with any European women who would have him and boasting about it but still expecting the women to be sexually exclusive/view sex as a duty they must fulfil but not enjoy). these themes are present in a lot of cultures.

I don't know what the solution is apart from education of children and getting them out of these ghettos. and a total overhaul of the care system. how desperate and neglected a young girl has to be to get into such a situation. what really breaks my heart is that these children were manipulated with the promise of food. no one was there to show them that basic level of care that they had to seek it outside.

yes a lot of ladies do this, also completely fine :-)

no problem! most will use tp to dry off. for no 2, we are encouraged to use tp first (at least three times), then wash and then dry.

if I am out and about, I just use tp and carry wipes then have a shower once home. but I am a clean freak so only use toilets outside if I have to. public toilets freak me out!

there is no islamic beliefs that prevents Muslims from celebrating birthdays. the salafi sect originating from saudi doesnt celebrate birthdays, but this is an offshoot of Islam rather than mainstream Islamic practice. I explained on a bit more detail in an earlier post.

as far as I am concerned, any excuse to eat cake.

it's not really upto me to judge if someone is a true Muslim or not. someone may not be practising all the islamic rituals/ adhering to laws but they could have a beautiful heart, love God and be a good person. And God can choose to accept them regardless of their action. ultimately its only through His Mercy that we reach spiritual salvation, not through the value of our action/piety. its better to be a sinner and be humble rather than very 'religious' and arrogant.

as far as I understand, covering is more of a cultural rather than religious thing in certain countries. also some women may be being forced to dress in a certain way so when they get the chance they dress as they want? it's all a bit silly in my mind that in this day and age adults being told what to wear? if anything it drives people away from faith

Do you agree that the Qur'an says that homosexuality is wrong and should be punished?

Do you agree that the Qur'an says a woman is to be obedient to men and that disobedience can be punshed? And that a man is only required to provide for a woman that is obedient towards him.

Do you follow the hadiths and sunnahs or only the Qur'an?

You mention that covering is about humility and reducing anything that creates judgment / comparison and about modesty. Do you avoid all adornments - make-up, jewelry, coloured or designed clothes, brand name accessories etc that all contribute to that valuing / judgement / comparison or that attract attention that you say you want to avoid?

Do you read and speak Arabic? If so, is your interpretation of the Qur'an your own based on your own reading, or do you listen to certain Iman's and Islamic scholars to determine your interpretation. Given the many varying interpretations and perspectives on the application of each interpretation - how do you decide which one you will follow?

hiya, as far as I know nothing in the islamic beliefs prevents someone organising a cremation for someone else. Muslims are not allowed to cremate their bodies, but this does not apply to non Muslims. in my years as a junior doctor I had to sign many a cremation form and I checked with scholars and was told this was fine.

however, if your daughter feels uncomfortable, then I suppose organising matters in advance might make sense?

Thank you for starting this thread!

Apologies if this has been asked already, but:

Don't you get hot in summer if your whole body is covered? Especially the hijab, I can't imagine covering my head and neck when it's 25° outside!

Have you ever drunk alcohol?

Do you pray five times a day? If so, how on earth do you manage this whilst working as a doctor??

Were you brought up Muslim or convert?

What is something most non-Muslims don't know about Islam/ Muslims?

Thanks again!!!

First of all I have great respect for anyone’s religion and I also work in the medical field with many Muslim members of staff so not disrespecting your culture but a question I’ve always wondered and haven’t wanted to ask my colleagues.

What is the view on homosexuality? I’m a lesbian and married to my wife. I avoid talking about my partner with my Muslim colleagues and I know I should but I haven’t corrected them previously when they’ve assumed my partner is male. I worry if they knew they would act differently towards me or silently judge me. Am I being silly?

Very interesting thread!
Thank you

Are you for or against capital punishment - if there were a referendum on it in the UK, which way would you cite?

Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions, it's really interesting and gives us a greater understanding of Muslim culture/beliefs. A very dull question from me: when you are at home with your own family day to day, do you remove your head covering? If yes, do you then quickly put it on to answer the door to say, the postman etc?

I am very sad to hear that the Muslims you met were so closed off! and I completely agree with you that Muslims can't complain about not being accepted when in the next breath they promote sectarian violence or be closed off from British society.

the fights you witnessed are often between young kids who are no different from football hooligans, spoiling for a fight with no actual religious understanding or actual practise beyond occasionally turning up to the mosque. their actions no more reflect islamic values than the actions of mafia bosses reflect the values of the Catholic faith.

I am always disappointed when Muslims choose to live here but close themselves off from the rest of society. why stay here then? no one I know does this, all my friends do the normal playdates, temple/church visits in fact once when a Christian delegation came for talks with the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), he offered them his mosque (one of the most sacred places for Muslims) for Sunday Mass. being the ruler of Muslims, he could have offered them any other space but showed them respect, acceptance and love by offering them his mosque. this is how Muslims are guided to behave.

There is very little truth in what you are saying.

What a fascinating thread, thanks OP.

sorry forgot to address one of your points. just wanted to clarify ahmediya is a separate religion as they follow another Prophet (who also claimed divine status, so is a little complicated). therefore not possible for Muslims to pray behind ahmediya Chaplin. to be honest sunni and Shia Muslims also have very different ways of praying (eg. timings are totally different) so most practicing sunni or Shia Muslims would not pray behind the imam of the other group. this is because the imam offers prayers on behalf of the group reading behind him/her and there are other technical issues. and this is for praying salah (our compulsory prayers). when it comes to other prayers, different rules apply.

women can lead the prayer for women/their family members. this is for practical reasons including the fact that women do not pray for 1 week per month (who will lead the prayer in a mosque then?) etc. from the outside it may seem unequal. and Islam doesn't promote absolute equality between genders because that doesn't necessarily solve all issues, instead it provides equity which is far more useful than equality.

I can understand this may be difficult to understand/accept from the outside but it's hard to understand certain rules/values without understanding more of the context/history/theology and the lived experience of the faith.

not sure if I answered your question... :-)

Thank you for your question. I don't celebrate the religious aspect of Xmas (as we believe the date of birth for Jesus is not known, and we would certainly celebrate if we knew the date!). however, I tend to do see friends or invite people around... I am partial to a roast goose (more traditional, doesn't go dry) myself... and tend to go all out. some years I go down to London and treat myself to Xmas lunch at one of the fancy hotels (many do halal food these days). the day itself is just another day to me... but its nice to celebrate when everyone else in the country is also celebrating. I do give cards/pressies to my Xmas celebrating frnds. I love the decorations and the vibe.

In the Qur'an (as in the bible and other religous doctrines), God does proclaim homosexuality is a sin, but I don't think punishment is specifically prescribed. but that doesn't mean I have the right to go around judging or denouncing people.

what you mentioned re women v men dynamic is not stated anywhere in the Qur'an. please would you send me the reference so I could look it up please and clarify it?

it is important to note that most translations of the Qur'an are full of (very convenient) inaccuracies. also it is important to be aware of historical context of specific revealations and their subsequent implementation/interpretation.

I follow the Quran and the sunna as interpreted by scholars and taught to me by various teachers. the interpretation of the Quran and sunna is a vast and extremely technical discipline. people study for decades and specialise in certain branches. I know scholars who may only specialise in shariah law, some only on islamic history and so on. trying to directly practice Islam by reading the Qur'an and hadith is like someone doing a heart transplant after reading one book about cardiac surgery and no other training. I also don't understand arabic and hence even more reason that I needed formal guidance.

the journey to choose the right guide was a long one. I was searching for a long time, and when I met the right group of people, I analysed their beliefs and practices for a long time but just could not make my mind up. one day I realised these people out of everyone I have met exhibit the most love and compassion as well as truly deeply loving God and the Prophet (pbuh). in their character and actions I saw the core values of Islam embodied, and that was it. :-)

I dress quite simply. I am not really into all that stuff, always been a bit of a tomboy/tramp.

This is really interesting.
Re Mecca and Kaaba - how does that not conflict with idolatry? As I understand it, Islam is completely against that and unfortunately (perhaps due to misinterpretation) has led to the destruction of numerous, ancient Stupas, temples - some 5000 BC.

Glad you are enjoying the thread!

it can definitely get hot but not as bad as you would think! it can also protect you from the sun. have you noticed that desert dwelling men and women wrap their head and neck in loose material? I wear very lightweight cotton hijab and loose cotton dresses so tend to be ok. obviously if anyone thinks they are getting heatstroke they should take their hijab off.

never drunk alcohol or taken drugs (does morphine after surgery count?)... accidentally had alcohol in food a few times, but never tipsy.

I do pray 5 times a day, but sometimes I miss the prayer time and have to make up later. the longest prayer (at night) takes just over ten minutes, the other 5 - 7 minutes so doesn't take up much time at all! it keeps me focused and anchored and helps so much! obviously at work I may not have time to pray or might be very tired after an oncall and knock out. but its possible to make it up at a later time/date.

I was brought up in a Muslim family but came to the faith at a later age after researching the major world religions. my parents encouraged this and never forced me in any direction. I wrote a bit more about towards the beginning of the thread if you wanted to read about it.

hmm... maybe that Islam established democratic political system, the Qur'an contains scientific facts that were not known by humanity at the time of revelation eg the sun revolves around its own axis which wasnt known until 1950s, that Muslims contributed a great deal to scientific endeavour and a lot of the laws in this country are derived from the Islamic legal system eg the jury system!

from your name I am assuming you are a midwife :-). I happen to be a gaswoman. I am so sad you feel apprehensive. truly I have not met any colleague in the NHS who is homophobic. Islam teaches us to love everyone, to be kind and respectful to everyone. how you choose to live your personal life is no one's business but your own. I have had a lot of lgbt colleagues/patients/friends... never saw any reason to treat them differently....

and if they treat you differently, I am sorry but that's on them, not you. I would definitely not say you are being silly, I can understand that you would feel anxious to disclose a private matter. sending you love