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AMA
Original poster

I'm a boarding school Housemistress. AMA

117 replies

HMno1 · 21/12/2022 17:19

Time on my hands.

OP posts:
SurpriseSparDay · 21/12/2022 18:33

Do you have experience of both boys’ and girls’ houses, and if so, which do you prefer?

(I attended a girls’ boarding school and have secondhand experience more recently of a boys’ school.)

Lilgamesh2 · 21/12/2022 18:39

What surprised you most about the experience?

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 18:46

zapeze · 21/12/2022 17:45

How did you get into this line of work?

Normal teacher, but worked in an independent boarding school. Had lots of boarding and pastoral experience because of that and then moved to be a Housemistress in a different school 3 years ago

OP posts:
Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 18:47

whatatanker · 21/12/2022 17:52

What discount (if any) do your own DC get if they attend there?

Mine is only 3 so not thinking about it yet, but discount is 45%

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Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:06

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 21/12/2022 17:59

Do you find children have unrealistic expectations of boarding school based on books - Enid Blyton, Harry Potter and similar? Or is boarding school actually like it is in books?

They have some unrealistic expectations. Perhaps not necessarily based on books but thinking they can do what they want, when they want, when actually, the rules are quite rigid generally!

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Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:06

PinkSkiesAtNight · 21/12/2022 17:59

This is so interesting! How much free time/time away from the school and kids do you get?

Not much. Term time is very ínstense but holidays are longer and so we make the most of those

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redbigbananafeet · 21/12/2022 19:08

How many children are there sleeping in each room? How do the girls have any privacy, personal space, alone time? Do you think they miss the love and comfort of their families? In what ways do you think it is better/worse than living at home? What chores/responsibility do the girls have?

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:08

Wanderingoff · 21/12/2022 18:03

can you discuss your views on whether you think it can be detrimental and how often to children??

Yeah, I think it can be detrimental. I have seen a lot of homesickness, lots of crying, and it breaks my heart. I can't see how that's good for them. When they're older, and want to be there, it can be great for them. Still not sure if I'd want it for my own!

OP posts:
Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:09

MadeInChorley · 21/12/2022 18:08

Do any children stay at your school over the longer holidays (Christmas, Easter hols)? Where do you go during the holidays if you live in?

None stay. We have a nice house so we're often there in the holidays or we visit family/ go on holiday like normal people!

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Anotherdayanotherdollar · 21/12/2022 19:12

Are you on call 24/7, and if so, how do you manage your family life?

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:26

BeanieTeen · 21/12/2022 18:08

I went to a boarding school and really enjoyed it, but funnily enough I was just thinking yesterday how different it must be now! We had a tv but only watched music channels, friends and hollyoaks 😄 except for Saturdays when two people got to go to blockbusters and get a DVD! Do they have netflix now? Facebook had just become a popular thing the year I left, some of us had an account but you couldn’t access it on the school computers, it was banned! How do you manage smart phones, social media and stuff like that now - it seems so integral to the lives of teens now.
Also I had to do homework from 7.30 until 10 with just a quick 15 minute break in the middle at 8.45! That seems insane now.

Yes they all have Netflix! They have an hour of homework each night and then we have activities and free time after that! Social media is a problem. Limiting their screen time helps somewhat.

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Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:27

Pootles34 · 21/12/2022 18:13

How on earth does the laundry work?

We have laundry ladies, or they can do it themselves! We have 3 washing machines and 2 dryers in the house.

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nancydroo · 21/12/2022 19:28

How do you think your boarders will remember you as adults when they look back at their time at boarding?

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:28

TeenDivided · 21/12/2022 18:16

How do you make sure the pupils have someone they can really turn to if they are being bullied or aren't happy?

Building positive and trusting relationships with them so that when something goes wrong they feel they can confide. Counsellors are also needed for lots of students. An independent ear is often very beneficial

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Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:28

TeenDivided · 21/12/2022 18:17

What is the maximum dorm size? Are they mixed age?

Not mixed age, max 3

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Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:29

Lilgamesh2 · 21/12/2022 18:25

How does it affect your love life?

We are a bit like ships passing during term time. We have Thursdays and most of Sundays together with out little one.

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MrsMoastyToasty · 21/12/2022 19:33

Have you ever found alcohol on school premises?

Asking for a friend of course.

everydaysabeginning · 21/12/2022 19:34

Will many have to spend Christmas there? I feel that's really sad.

BeanieTeen · 21/12/2022 19:42

Will many have to spend Christmas there? I feel that's really sad.

Only those that go to Hogwarts.
Do people really think this happens?

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:43

Lilgamesh2 · 21/12/2022 18:25

How does it affect your love life?

Hmmm, not amazing during term time! I'm married to a teacher who works in the same school as me!

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mistopheles · 21/12/2022 19:49

How unhappy would a child have to be before you called their parent?

Msloverlover · 21/12/2022 19:51

MrsMoastyToasty · 21/12/2022 19:33

Have you ever found alcohol on school premises?

Asking for a friend of course.

Having gone to an independent boarding school (albeit as a day pupil), I’m assuming this is a hard yes! Teenagers gonna teenage.

Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:56

SurpriseSparDay · 21/12/2022 18:33

Do you have experience of both boys’ and girls’ houses, and if so, which do you prefer?

(I attended a girls’ boarding school and have secondhand experience more recently of a boys’ school.)

I have limited experience of boys boarding, and it did seem more boisterous and loud. I had a bad experience with a boy who thought it would be funny to walk past me naked. I was mid 20s then and the only female boarding tutor in the house.

OP posts:
Original poster
HMno1 · 21/12/2022 19:57

Lilgamesh2 · 21/12/2022 18:39

What surprised you most about the experience?

The sheer number of mental health issues. I knew there were a lot but it's overwhelming the number who suffer in some way with it

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Soscrewed · 21/12/2022 20:00

Do you stay in the boarding house in term time? Where does your 3 year old stay? Does she have dinner qnd things with the children? Does she enjoy it? How many children and adults in the house?

Thanks for the great AMA! Fascinating