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AMA
Original poster

I am agoraphobic (can't leave the house) AMA

92 replies

alittlefickle · 21/04/2022 08:53

:-)

OP posts:
Woolandwonder · 27/04/2022 07:40

Sorry it sounds really hard. As a therapist I've worked with a lot of people with agrophobia and associated issues. It's great you manage to take the dog out, I'd just encourage you to keep very slowly building on things in tiny tiny steps. Often we'd start by just looking out of a window, then taking the bin out. It's not unusual for it to be a really difficult problem to work on particularly when there is a lot of other stuff going on so don't write yourself off although I know it's easy to feel that way (I've got mh and physical health issues myself) Have you had treatment for your PTSD before?

Original poster
alittlefickle · 27/04/2022 08:17

Woolandwonder · 27/04/2022 07:40

Sorry it sounds really hard. As a therapist I've worked with a lot of people with agrophobia and associated issues. It's great you manage to take the dog out, I'd just encourage you to keep very slowly building on things in tiny tiny steps. Often we'd start by just looking out of a window, then taking the bin out. It's not unusual for it to be a really difficult problem to work on particularly when there is a lot of other stuff going on so don't write yourself off although I know it's easy to feel that way (I've got mh and physical health issues myself) Have you had treatment for your PTSD before?

The PTSD is what the therapy has been based on. Trying to come to terms with my sons suicide attempt and how not to freak out every time there's a knock at the door/phone rings or I hear a siren. It's not been easy, but it's getting easier.

I've done gradual exposure over the 24 years. When I use to take my son the 30 seconds to school, my therapist at the time said it would get easier... I panicked EVERY time I took him/collected him for the entire duration of infants/juniors...
It never got easier. I'm pretty sure my brain is utterly broken.

OP posts:
Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 12:51

You don't have to answer this, but if you get DLA/PIP have you found the process ok? Have they been understanding about you not being able to attend medicals etc.

Original poster
alittlefickle · 27/04/2022 14:53

Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 12:51

You don't have to answer this, but if you get DLA/PIP have you found the process ok? Have they been understanding about you not being able to attend medicals etc.

I got PIP after a year of hell and no money living off a visa. 300 pages of evidence and a court case later, my representative was told it should never have got to court. Very stressful.

OP posts:
Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 20:53

I'm glad they got it sorted for you, it's such an unnecessarily difficult process.

Original poster
alittlefickle · 27/04/2022 20:58

Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 20:53

I'm glad they got it sorted for you, it's such an unnecessarily difficult process.

Eventually after a LOT of stress.

OP posts:
Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 23:33

Yes, sorry by they I meant the court. Ofc it should never have had to go that far. Such a soul destroying time wasting process

Original poster
alittlefickle · 28/04/2022 00:09

Foodbanksshouldbeobsolete · 27/04/2022 23:33

Yes, sorry by they I meant the court. Ofc it should never have had to go that far. Such a soul destroying time wasting process

Absolutely. The initial interview was the worst. He came to my house (just a regular person, not a qualified psychiatrist) and because I opened the door, my house isn't a shit hole and I was clean and tidy, that clearly meant I was absolutely fine. Baring in mind I was being calmed by10mg of diazepam which is how I was able to let him
In!!! But just because I did that I had to go through the entire process of fighting.

OP posts:
Lampyshady · 28/04/2022 00:27

Are the friends that visit you from before you couldn’t leave the house or have you made new friends since 1998 (and how)

Original poster
alittlefickle · 28/04/2022 08:48

Lampyshady · 28/04/2022 00:27

Are the friends that visit you from before you couldn’t leave the house or have you made new friends since 1998 (and how)

They're both :-)

OP posts:
Gowithme · 28/04/2022 09:11

Hi OP, you've been through so much that no one should ever have to go through - I'm so sorry :-( I wanted to ask - women with BPD are sometimes found to have been misdiagnosed and are later diagnosed as having ASD rather than BPD (as there is a lot of overlap), have you ever considered that it might be ASD rather than BPD?

Original poster
alittlefickle · 28/04/2022 18:29

Gowithme · 28/04/2022 09:11

Hi OP, you've been through so much that no one should ever have to go through - I'm so sorry :-( I wanted to ask - women with BPD are sometimes found to have been misdiagnosed and are later diagnosed as having ASD rather than BPD (as there is a lot of overlap), have you ever considered that it might be ASD rather than BPD?

That was also mentioned during the 'emergency assessment' I had when I was diagnosed with BPD. Never had any official diagnosis for it though, but it wouldn't surprise me. Sadly I am pretty much the bingo card for BPD :-(

OP posts:
caecilius1 · 28/04/2022 19:24

If you don't mind me asking, how do you manage to look after your teeth? Do you go out to the dentist ?
What about the GP? Or hair cuts ? Thanks x

PlantingTrees · 28/04/2022 19:28

When you’re out, what exactly is it that causes you to feel panicky? Or is it just a general sense of doom. Is there anything that you would leave the house for, eg visiting someone in hospital?

Original poster
alittlefickle · 28/04/2022 23:14

caecilius1 · 28/04/2022 19:24

If you don't mind me asking, how do you manage to look after your teeth? Do you go out to the dentist ?
What about the GP? Or hair cuts ? Thanks x

All these things have been massive issues for me because to me I am 'trapped'. Trapped while in a dentist chair, trapped while having my hair cut ... the doctors isn't so bad as it's very small and I'm not technically trapped like I am while getting my hair/teeth done. I have a very very understanding dentist and hairdresser. They both know I'm nuts and will let me guide them with how I'm feeling.

OP posts:
caecilius1 · 28/04/2022 23:18

I'm relieved to hear you do manage to visit your family dentist OP, even though it's a struggle for you. Nothing worse that raging dental pain and being housebound.

Original poster
alittlefickle · 28/04/2022 23:23

PlantingTrees · 28/04/2022 19:28

When you’re out, what exactly is it that causes you to feel panicky? Or is it just a general sense of doom. Is there anything that you would leave the house for, eg visiting someone in hospital?

Sometimes it could be that I am feeling a bit off, dizzy, nauseous, faint...big queues.... feeling trapped ... worried about passing out ... worried about making an idiot of myself, throwing up....just being worried about having a panic attack, walking too far (for me) from the car making me worry if I could get back if I'm feeling bad... so many things.

Panic doesn't disappear according to situation. My mother had emergency surgery a few years back, I couldn't see her because of my illness. Yes it made me feel utterly utterly guilty .. but if panic disorder was controlled that way, I wouldn't have lost 24 years of life.

OP posts:
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