Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

@StewPots

Utterly fascinating thread OP and you’ve answered some of the quite clearly goady posts really well.

I’ve actually learnt a few things as well which were really interesting. I’m a (very much non practicing / turned my back on the whole deal ) Catholic as I completely disagree with pretty much every Catholic rule …but I still find region itself fascinating. I’ve been a witch for several years now with pagan beliefs :) I even have a specially made broomstick :D

Each to their own I say, and thank you for the thread

Thank you ❤️

[quote Houseofvelour]

@Meh2020

OP I have loved this thread. You come across as peaceful.

Thank you! I have my moments ❤️

@alexdgr8

OP, did you go to college in london, somewhere near the river maybe ?

I didn’t actually, somewhere a bit more central. Not by a river but more canals than Venice apparently 😂

Birmingham 😃

@MissConductUS

John 3:16, those who believe in me shall not perish but have eternal life?

That's the one! The full verse is:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The Abrahamic religions share a lot of common teachings and practices. I feel that what we have in common is as important as our differences.

Eight Shared Beliefs Between Islam, Christianity, and Judaism

‘those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians, and Sabians, whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [al-Baqarah 2:62’

❤️

OP, would you accept that your view of your religion is likely to be different to someone born into it? You appear to have been able to pick and choose the aspects that you accept and those that you don't with a confidence that I suspect many Muslim norm women don't have.

Ultimately this is a choice for you and you could change your mind if things went wrong and presumably be supported by your family in doing so.

@DeclareThePenniesOnYourEyes

Thanks for this thread *@Namechangetimes100*.

I’m a white atheist but worker for many years in a school with a 98% Bangladeshi Muslim population and was one of only four non-Muslim staff. It opened my eyes to what a peaceful and loving religion Islam is. I came to have a lot of respect for it. And I’m the 8yrs I worked there I only ever got shit from one kid (a 16yr old boy) about my apparent disrespect towards Islam. He said he wasn’t prepared to be taught by me because I was clearly “loose” with my hair on display. I told him to cop himself on and he was swiftly dealt with. That was so clearly about misogyny on his part (and I imagine on his family’s, he didn’t just come up with that himself) rather than Islam. Every other kid was respectful of my differences and sought to educate me about their religion when I was unsure or something.

It’s s shame isn’t it, that boys parents must have raised him with hate in their hearts, luckily he’s the minority x

@boomshakalacka

OP, would you accept that your view of your religion is likely to be different to someone born into it? You appear to have been able to pick and choose the aspects that you accept and those that you don't with a confidence that I suspect many Muslim norm women don't have. Ultimately this is a choice for you and you could change your mind if things went wrong and presumably be supported by your family in doing so.

Oooh I wouldn’t say I pick and choose, just that I’ve rationalised things in a way that makes sense to me. I’ve read up and asked the really awkward questions and tried to make sense of things for myself. I guess though if you’re brought up in a strict family, you wouldn’t be able to do that.

I do think how I see things is different because I actively had to choose this life rather than being born Into it and going with the flow. I guess i could leave the religion and yeah I wouldn’t be shunned by my blood family (they aren’t particularly nice people though) whereas a born Muslim probably couldn’t or at least would get some serious flack, but they could not practice though and I don’t think that would be particularly noticed. Maybe the taking off of the scarf which we’ve seen here is met with a crazy amount of resistance some of which can get quite nasty.

I think there’s a difference in Muslims living in non Muslim countries and then Muslims living in Muslim counties as here there are v few consequences for not following your religion. I mean the amount of Muslims who go out drinking for instance.

@AdaFuckingShelby

How old were you when you decoded? What was the process- how long from first thinking about it to full conversion. What advice would you give to a 12 year old boy who wants to take the shahada? What advice would you give to the mum of the12 year old boy? How is your relationship with your family? Any regrets?

@AdaFuckingShelby do feel free to PM me though. I was thinking about your comment a bit more.

I think being supportive is incredible and maybe taking the time to learn together and Understanding the child’s connection is important.

But I do want to just reiterate sources of info, especially because the internet js a crazy please and it sucks but there are people out there who pray on ignorance and Innocence to create a poisonous and sectarian and hateful version of religion

I mentioned shabir ally but mufti menk is a good one too, he’s quite conservative theologically speaking but he is balanced

Namechangetimes100 Sun 19-Dec-21 02:10:03

alexdgr8
OP, did you go to college in london, somewhere near the river maybe ?

that's amazing, OP; because i was there too, i recognise the reference.
i was there, as well as the other place i alluded to. how strange. i didn't think of that one, but i felt a kind of affinity of places of learning, or something.
are you still in the canal place; i used to have relatives there, near a long arterial shakesperean road.
thank you for starting this thread. so many people have enjoyed it.

"For example, someone with a lung condition that affected their breathing taking medication to cure their condition wouldn't stop taking it just because it was making them put on weight. They'd carry on taking it because it would potentially save their life. These decisions affect the afterlife."
............
But what if they stopped that medication because it was hurting them and started with a different medication that was just as effective at saving their life. That's really all the op has done. And the op believes that Allah is a loving god. Changing her style of clothing is not going to make a loving god punish her. Your argument doesn't make sense.
Through work I have met a lot of practising Muslims, from those who wear the veil to those who wear completely western style clothing. They are all equally devout in their religion. Usually the root cause of their style of dress is their family rather than religion. In fact if you talk to many Muslim women, they will say that the things that make living in their religion hard, is not the religion itself but the customs they have to abide by that have been founded in individual, geographic communities and held to be Islamic practice but in reality is cultural practice.

@boomshakalacka

OP, would you accept that your view of your religion is likely to be different to someone born into it? You appear to have been able to pick and choose the aspects that you accept and those that you don't with a confidence that I suspect many Muslim norm women don't have. Ultimately this is a choice for you and you could change your mind if things went wrong and presumably be supported by your family in doing so.

This is a bit judgemental. Not all Muslim born women are in the metaphorical chains you describe. Many are independent, successful, educated and able to discern which bits of the religion are authentic and which bits are ingrained in misogyny by men wanting to control women.

Brilliant thread, op, thank you for taking the time and having the patience to invite questions.

I have a few...

Jesus...used to preach about the end of times, which is why he was executed as a bandit by the Roman Empire. Jesus himself had a small following, it was jesus’s brother James who historically speaking is more widely referenced than Jesus, that really gained the popularity in this movement. Early Christianity was like Judaism 2.0, it was when it the bible was canonised and made the state religion of the Roman Empire that efforts were made to make Christianity less jew-y. Getting rid of kosher, circumcision and the rituals and then the adoption of c mas
This is really interesting. Are you able to point me towards a book or two that goes into this please? (Am assuming with your academic background you can!)

I took some classes on gender and Islam. I found the feminist stance on Islam super empowering and read more into it.
I've heard this before, but how? I'm really curious into what the feminist stance is in Islam, can you please expand upon this?

I don’t believe in the trinity or that Jesus died on the cross. I also think the bible supports this
Why not?

I'm not of any faith btw so you won't offend me, I'm just really curious and find religions really interesting.

@Namechangetimes100 I miss some of the clothes! I can’t lie and I miss going out dancing! I had a lovely pair of leather shorts from urban outfitters that looked so chic with a vintage style blouse, i miss that.

Why can’t you wear shorts or go out dancing? Surely religion is just believing in a higher power? You can be a kind person and pray, but still do things that you enjoy. Isn’t a hijab just a cultural thing rather than religious? I have Muslim friends who dress however they like and don’t cover their hair. They come on nights out, but don’t drink alcohol.

This is a fascinating thread OP, thankyou so much for sharing your insights and experiences.
How much do you believe in predestination? I think you mentioned earlier that you believe the day of death is predetermined, so do you believe that you have entirely free will, or do you think that God intervenes directly in your life and has plans for you, specifically?

This is a bit judgemental. Not all Muslim born women are in the metaphorical chains you describe. Many are independent, successful, educated and able to discern which bits of the religion are authentic and which bits are ingrained in misogyny by men wanting to control women

And I imagine that most of those women you describe are Muslims living in non-Muslim countries?

@BobbieT1999

Brilliant thread, op, thank you for taking the time and having the patience to invite questions.

I have a few...

Jesus...used to preach about the end of times, which is why he was executed as a bandit by the Roman Empire. Jesus himself had a small following, it was jesus’s brother James who historically speaking is more widely referenced than Jesus, that really gained the popularity in this movement. Early Christianity was like Judaism 2.0, it was when it the bible was canonised and made the state religion of the Roman Empire that efforts were made to make Christianity less jew-y. Getting rid of kosher, circumcision and the rituals and then the adoption of c mas
This is really interesting. Are you able to point me towards a book or two that goes into this please? (Am assuming with your academic background you can!)

I took some classes on gender and Islam. I found the feminist stance on Islam super empowering and read more into it.
I've heard this before, but how? I'm really curious into what the feminist stance is in Islam, can you please expand upon this?

I don’t believe in the trinity or that Jesus died on the cross. I also think the bible supports this
Why not?

I'm not of any faith btw so you won't offend me, I'm just really curious and find religions really interesting.

So my background isn’t the historical Jesus so most of my knowledge has come from lectures I went to at uni. That being said Reza aslan zealot of Nazareth is a good accessible intro to the historical Jesus. If you want something really academic, which might not be the most accessible from a readers point of view, I’d go with something by John dominic crossan.

So the official stance is going to be something predictably misogynistic about feminism being a western thing bla bla. BUT to look historically at home women were treated in pre Islamic Arabia and in Jewish and Christian societies at the time, the changes made by Islam were revolutionary. Women having access to education this was huge and in fact the first Uni in the world was founded by a Muslim woman, rights in terms of marriage and the prohibition of trading women as property, the mahr which is the gift given from husband to wife prior to marriage it’s basically a reversal of the dowry except the woman is to decide herself, inheritance rights, the right to own property, not changing of last name because you aren’t the property of your husband, the acknowledgment that women are also sexual beings and the husband has a responsibility to fulfil her sexually speaking, the prohibition of female infanticide (which was really common), rules on polygamy, divorce rights, there are more but there are the ones that have come to my head now… basically at the time this much change in a handful of years is revolutionary, especially considering women had 0 rights, so it’s frustrating for me when you see Muslims state that feminism is incompatible with Islam, it’s clear to me that’s it’s not the case and I feel it’s our responsibility to keep that ball rolling…

So the trinity, god in three Persons, like ice water and steam? Jesus as fully human and fully divine it just doesn’t make sense to me. In my opinion it also doesn’t tally well with the Old Testament god that you are told to believe in also as a Christian.
The crucifixion, so one of the reasons why crucifixion was favoured by the Roman Empire (aside from the exhibitionism of it all) was that it was a really long way to die, I’m talking days. There are historical accounts of people being up there for over a week and being cut down alive. Jesus was on the cross for a matter of hours. So In my opinion unlikely to have died. The only reference to the spear In Jesus’s side on the cross is In the gospel according to John. This was written around d 90-100 years after Jesus died, so by someone who’d never met Jesus and who definitely wasn’t there. It’s also known to have some poetic and symbolic content, so that’s how I’d interpret the spear. Matthew, mark and Luke are known as the synoptic gospels as they are believed to be derived from either a master source (q gospel) or that Matthew and luke were working from mark and embellished certain bits as they went along

[quote Greensmoothie1]**@Namechangetimes100* I miss some of the clothes! I can’t lie and I miss going out dancing! I had a lovely pair of leather shorts from urban outfitters that looked so chic with a vintage style blouse, i miss that.*

Why can’t you wear shorts or go out dancing? Surely religion is just believing in a higher power? You can be a kind person and pray, but still do things that you enjoy. Isn’t a hijab just a cultural thing rather than religious? I have Muslim friends who dress however they like and don’t cover their hair. They come on nights out, but don’t drink alcohol.[/quote]
So I can, nothing is physically preventing me (aside from a pandemic and kids lol) but I know it’s not the right place for me… that’s just my temptation of things that at times I do miss.

Is hijab cultural and not religious… mmm I don’t know. Do I believe that you can be Muslim and not wear it? of course. But is it not religious? I don’t know… at the very least it’s a huge visual signifier that says to the world hey I’m Muslim

Hello! Thanks for answering questions, interesting enough to bookmark.

Q. What are your thoughts on Muhammad marrying a 9/10yr old girl?

Q. Someone asked similar earlier but I didn’t see the answer, what did you find in Islam that you didn’t in Christianity especially given that Muslims are encouraged to read “the Book” (Torah/Godpel of Jesus) as truth in the Qur’an

@Mahmoh

This is a fascinating thread OP, thankyou so much for sharing your insights and experiences. How much do you believe in predestination? I think you mentioned earlier that you believe the day of death is predetermined, so do you believe that you have entirely free will, or do you think that God intervenes directly in your life and has plans for you, specifically?

I believe in gods plan. We all have free will but ultimately that god knows how situations will pan out and events that are beyond our control are part of gods plan. I think an interventionist god is incompatible with the state of the world ie poverty and disease etc but I do believe god has a plan for me, like he does for you and everyone else.

When you look at the vast variety in ways people show their Christian religion - polygamous Sects in Utah, hair covering Orthodox churches, Westborough Baptist Church demonstrators, celibate hermits, Monks and Nuns, anti- contraception campaigners, gentle inclusive house churches, hellfire and brimstone preachers…you realise there is bound to be as much diversity in all the major religions, not ‘One Way’ but many. I think sometimes as non-Muslims we can be tempted into thinking there is one way to be a Muslim based on narrow experience of negative media.

This has been a fascinating AMA. Thank you.

@Naijagal

Hello! Thanks for answering questions, interesting enough to bookmark.

Q. What are your thoughts on Muhammad marrying a 9/10yr old girl?

Q. Someone asked similar earlier but I didn’t see the answer, what did you find in Islam that you didn’t in Christianity especially given that Muslims are encouraged to read “the Book” (Torah/Godpel of Jesus) as truth in the Qur’an

Yesss I’m glad you asked that because it’s something lots of people have concerns about.

So the marriage you’re referring to was the daughter of abu bakr Aisha, she was Muhammad’s second wife. Prior to marrying Aisha, Muhammad was married to a woman called Khadijah, this was a love marriage, she was older than him and he worked for her, she fell for him and asked him to marry her. They were deeply in love and had children together, she believed in him when no one else did. They were married until her death which he never got over. In this time islam had developed a following and securing ties was important. Abu bakr was Muhammad’s best friend and he offered his daughter Aisha to Muhammad to marry, she was 9. Islamically she must have consented or the marriage is void ( don’t get this twisted though by today standard a child can’t consent to anything). So historically there was no lower age limit on marriage and child marriage was common. Historically speaking the Virgin Mary is thought to have been 12 when she was pregnant with Jesus, also worth pointing out here that Jesus had older siblings that are referenced in the bible, so they obviously must have been conceived prior. Aisha’s age has only been a concern recently speaking, ancient Christians and Jews used to try and discredit Muhammad (for obvious reasons) so he’s get Called a magician and a fraud but nothing was mentioned about Aisha’s age. There is also a verse of the Quran that gives Muhammad’s wives the opportunity to walk away , no consequences, none of them did. It’s well documented that of all of his other wives Aisha was his favourite. She was outspoken and confident and used to regularly put him in his place and play pranks on him. To me, I also find it very interesting that Muhammad never gathered children with any of the second generation of wives (there was one son with a Christian concubine some say wife called mariam) so this proves there weren’t any fertility issues on his side… to me and this is exclusively my personal opinion, it raises questions as if there was a sexual relationship or if the marriages were purely state and alliance building

Thank you for such detailed responses, op. Do you see a difference between the historical Muhammad and the Muhammed of the Quran/Islam?

@Naijagal

Hello! Thanks for answering questions, interesting enough to bookmark.

Q. What are your thoughts on Muhammad marrying a 9/10yr old girl?

Q. Someone asked similar earlier but I didn’t see the answer, what did you find in Islam that you didn’t in Christianity especially given that Muslims are encouraged to read “the Book” (Torah/Godpel of Jesus) as truth in the Qur’an

Forgot to answer the second part, soz

I mentioned up thread about my beliefs on the trinity and crucifixion, these tie in well to the Islamic ones. I wouldn’t say Muslims are encouraged to read the book more just to acknowledge it came first, these people had revelation but ultimately it became corrupted. We recognise there is still truth in the bible and the Torah but there is also some additions that have been made. Human additions to the bible or revisions are pretty much accepted by every Christian organisation as having occurred. Overall it just clicked for me better, there were less theologically Inconsistencies (none really) that I just couldn’t rationalise