Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

@pineapplejuiceisyuck

I think you've misunderstood my post. Of course you can absolutely be Muslim if you don't wear a hijab. This is not what I was trying to say.

My point is you shouldn't turn your back or make a U-turn on a decision that you chose to follow because it betters your life. For example, someone with a lung condition that affected their breathing taking medication to cure their condition wouldn't stop taking it just because it was making them put on weight. They'd carry on taking it because it would potentially save their life. These decisions affect the afterlife.

My post wasn't about whether you're female or male. Just about taking a decision that walks away from Islam as opposed towards it.

No I understood your post fine, this sort of judgmental crap is what actually turns people away from Islam. 4/5 converts leave , you know that?

I hope you don't find this patronising AF @Namechangetimes100 , but this is the most insightful thread I think I've ever read! Thanks so much for your patience and really interesting answers.

I'm really interested in whether any of pregnancy / labour / birth / post birth have a significantly different cultural approach than someone outside of Islam would be used to? Just interested, really!!

Thanks again!

@Namechangetimes100, I am a Christian, and like you, my faith journey has had some twists and turns and I was not brought up in Christianity. I just wanted to say how much I admire and appreciate your dedication and courage in sharing about it, despite the obvious risks of putting it all out there. It's also been very enlightening, so thank you.

I also think that it's odd that you are getting so much criticism from your fellow Muslims. There are many paths to God, even within one faith. I consider anyone who believes in John 3:16 a fellow Christian.

If you don't mind, I'd like to go back to the questions about women and menstruation. It seems to me as an outsider that the rules around what women can and can't do when menstruating absolutely are about it being perceived as unclean. Your personal view is that it's about women being given a chance to rest. But even if that were the case, that is the very definition of patronising patriarchal attitudes. Plenty of women don't need or want a chance to rest when menstruating. Why should there be a rule about such a specific aspect of women's lives?

@helpadvicewhateverneeded

I hope you don't find this patronising AF *@Namechangetimes100* , but this is the most insightful thread I think I've ever read! Thanks so much for your patience and really interesting answers.

I'm really interested in whether any of pregnancy / labour / birth / post birth have a significantly different cultural approach than someone outside of Islam would be used to? Just interested, really!!

Thanks again!

Oh that’s so sweet! When posting i didn’t think anyone would be that interested lol.

So in terms of labour and delivery there are a few sunnahs that are told in the story of how Mary gave birth to Jesus. These are actually super cool and correspond to some science that we know today.

1. dates, eat dates to help soften the cervix and to give energy in labour.
2. pulling down in contractions, Mary pulled down on a date tree. I know that’s super helpful during labour
3. it’s recommended to listen to surah maryam during pregnancy and labour, it starts off with the story of how Zachariah and his wife longed for a child and then in old age they conceived John the Baptist. My friend actually did he master thesis on how the frequency of quranic recitations are used in alternative therapy to promote healing. A similar thing to the ohm noise made in yoga. She used Surah maryam as an example of this
4. there are certain prayers or duas you can say during pregnancy too
5. tahneek so when a baby is born you take a tiny tiny piece of very chewed date and rub it over baby’s gums. I read an article once about how sugar paste is used in neonates
6. adhaan so when a baby is born the dad traditionally recites that in the babies ear so the first words they hear are from god
7. on the 7th day of you have a baby boy his head is to be shaved and the hair weighed and then the weight in gold or silver is to be given in monetary value to charity, as the babies first act of charity. There’s an aqeeqah too, whereby one sheep is slaughtered for a girl and 2 for a boy and the meat used to feed the needy. We donated the money for a meal programme for refugees
8. oh breastfeeding, Islamically it’s encouraged to breastfeed your children until 2

I might have forgot some other things

Is a woman's partner encouraged / discouraged to be present during labour?

Finding this fascinating!

@Namechangetimes100 thank you so much for your thoughtful and patient responses here. It's really wonderful.
I converted in 2014 and it has given me incredible peace and joy.
I have been very interested to read your answers- even to the goady, bigoted posts.
Thanks again!

[quote MissConductUS]@Namechangetimes100, I am a Christian, and like you, my faith journey has had some twists and turns and I was not brought up in Christianity. I just wanted to say how much I admire and appreciate your dedication and courage in sharing about it, despite the obvious risks of putting it all out there. It's also been very enlightening, so thank you.

I also think that it's odd that you are getting so much criticism from your fellow Muslims. There are many paths to God, even within one faith. I consider anyone who believes in John 3:16 a fellow Christian.[/quote]
Thank you :)

Unfortunately it’s really common the judgemental comments, i wouldn’t mind but I’m only saying I struggled with the headscarf, people spat at me so i stopped wearing it. Hardly apostasy but this is the state of the Muslim community, so much significance placed on what women wear.

John 3:16, those who believe in me shall not perish but have eternal life?

@UltraVividLament

If you don't mind, I'd like to go back to the questions about women and menstruation. It seems to me as an outsider that the rules around what women can and can't do when menstruating absolutely are about it being perceived as unclean. Your personal view is that it's about women being given a chance to rest. But even if that were the case, that is the very definition of patronising patriarchal attitudes. Plenty of women don't need or want a chance to rest when menstruating. Why should there be a rule about such a specific aspect of women's lives?

I think the notions of purity go back to Judaism, there is a ritual around menstruation called the niddah, islam does have a lot of similarities to Judaism and there is a perception that menstrual blood is unclean (although this is pretty much s global perception). That is my personal view because I’ve always felt crappy with my period tbh, cramps etc, so it makes sense to me but there might be other feminist interpretations out there that I’m not familiar with.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Is a woman's partner encouraged / discouraged to be present during labour?

Finding this fascinating!

Encouraged! Both in terms of support for the wife and so on birth the dad can recite the adhan into the baby’s ear x

[quote Alonelonelylonersbadidea]@Namechangetimes100 thank you so much for your thoughtful and patient responses here. It's really wonderful.
I converted in 2014 and it has given me incredible peace and joy.
I have been very interested to read your answers- even to the goady, bigoted posts.
Thanks again![/quote]
Same here! It’s a hard road at times but in my heart I do have peace ❤️❤️

This has been so fascinating OP. Thank you. You have a really clear way of writing that makes it easy to understand. I think it's so sad that you have experienced hostility from fellow Muslims; I remember going to church as a child and there being some hideously rude people in the congregation so sadly there a vile people in all sorts of religions!

Why do you have to believe in any kind of higher being? Why not just live a good life and think for yourself?

Utterly fascinating thread OP and you’ve answered some of the quite clearly goady posts really well.

I’ve actually learnt a few things as well which were really interesting. I’m a (very much non practicing / turned my back on the whole deal ) Catholic as I completely disagree with pretty much every Catholic rule …but I still find region itself fascinating. I’ve been a witch for several years now with pagan beliefs :) I even have a specially made broomstick :D

Each to their own I say, and thank you for the thread

OP, did you go to college in london, somewhere near the river maybe ?

John 3:16, those who believe in me shall not perish but have eternal life?

That's the one! The full verse is:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The Abrahamic religions share a lot of common teachings and practices. I feel that what we have in common is as important as our differences.

Eight Shared Beliefs Between Islam, Christianity, and Judaism

OP I have loved this thread. You come across as peaceful.

Thank you for this thread OP! As a (very liberal) Muslim I agree with everything you've said here, and I want to add that there are loads of us who also have the same beliefs. To me being Muslim is not about following some set rituals, it's the core of who I am and it gives my life spiritual meaning. I don't practice at all, but I am still a Muslim in my heart.

If you're on Facebook I'd like to recommend two groups for finding like minded people:

www.facebook.com/groups/feministfitna/?ref=share

www.facebook.com/groups/MPVUSA/?ref=share

@Namechangetimes100 this is a very interesting and informative thread OP thank you

Thank you for my dog answer and as others have said, a really interesting thread.

@showmethegin

This has been so fascinating OP. Thank you. You have a really clear way of writing that makes it easy to understand. I think it's so sad that you have experienced hostility from fellow Muslims; I remember going to church as a child and there being some hideously rude people in the congregation so sadly there a vile people in all sorts of religions!

Sucks doesn’t it but as you said there’s arseholes everywhere 😂

Thanks for this thread @Namechangetimes100.

I’m a white atheist but worker for many years in a school with a 98% Bangladeshi Muslim population and was one of only four non-Muslim staff. It opened my eyes to what a peaceful and loving religion Islam is. I came to have a lot of respect for it. And I’m the 8yrs I worked there I only ever got shit from one kid (a 16yr old boy) about my apparent disrespect towards Islam. He said he wasn’t prepared to be taught by me because I was clearly “loose” with my hair on display. I told him to cop himself on and he was swiftly dealt with. That was so clearly about misogyny on his part (and I imagine on his family’s, he didn’t just come up with that himself) rather than Islam. Every other kid was respectful of my differences and sought to educate me about their religion when I was unsure or something.

@HollowTalk

Why do you have to believe in any kind of higher being? Why not just live a good life and think for yourself?

So you absolutely don’t have it. I remember reading an article called something along the lines of only atheists go to heaven, was interesting basically the premise was only atheists actually do good without the concept of a reward, so they are the ones truly doing good!

But anyhooo, you can apply the same logic to any faith for me the why have faith thing, life sucks sometimes I have to believe that there’s a reason. Or a grander purpose for it all. More recently, losing my dad, seeing him at the end, the thought that this is it, no more, i have no more chances with him, and I’m never going to see him, never hug him again is horrendous. I don’t think I could get through the rest of life thinking all those I’ve lost are just gone