I have hosted many Afghan refugees in my spare room, and will continue to offer it. AMA

[54321nought]

Leading on from another thread, where concerns were raised about finding housing for the number of refugees coming into the UK, and whether they would be a threat to those offering to house them.

I have supported refugees, mostly Afghan refugees in a number of ways for many years, including hosting in my spare room.

I have never had an Afghan guest who has been anything other than polite, deferential, and unassuming, but very very interesting when they have opened up.

I also feel there is a misconception about the number s involved. It sounds like big numbers, but it is less than 1% of the number of English residents that die in an average year, just to put it into perspective - it is really not going to increase our population at all

And as far as housing goes, there is asylum seeker housing, but there is no refugee housing, hence why people like me host them. They are certainly not jumping the housing queue!

Oh this is really interesting. Ds will be leaving home next year and I will have a spare room, though term time only.

Are there ever needs for short term placements?

Just wanted to say thank you for doing what you do. When I very first started teaching I had two Afghan boys put into my science class who had never been to school at home never mind in the UK. They sold the family farmland to get here after the entire rest of their family was killed. We didn't worry about teaching them science, just to read and write a bit of English with some help from some very lovely bi and trilingual staff and students. They managed to be polite and cheerful throughout despite all this trauma and I believe both went on to get a place on a vocational college course.

Could tell similar stories about teaching Bosnian and Kosovan refugees, none of them could attend school and settle without the support of people like you

I saw your post on the other thread, just wanted to say what a fantastic thing it is you do!

Thank you for starting this thread! How long do they typically stay for? Are there any tips you can give?

I don’t have a spare room but would love to do this. Thank you for being so brilliant. My question is can you specify a woman and child? xx

Place marking

@PermanentTemporary

Oh this is really interesting. Ds will be leaving home next year and I will have a spare room, though term time only.

Are there ever needs for short term placements?

Yes! There are many occasions when even one or two nights prevents someone having to sleep on the street

@Heyha

Just wanted to say thank you for doing what you do. When I very first started teaching I had two Afghan boys put into my science class who had never been to school at home never mind in the UK. They sold the family farmland to get here after the entire rest of their family was killed. We didn't worry about teaching them science, just to read and write a bit of English with some help from some very lovely bi and trilingual staff and students. They managed to be polite and cheerful throughout despite all this trauma and I believe both went on to get a place on a vocational college course.

Could tell similar stories about teaching Bosnian and Kosovan refugees, none of them could attend school and settle without the support of people like you

Thank you x

Thank you for starting this thread and also thank you for what you do.

I’d love to do something like this but we don’t have a spare room or even a sofa bed but I’m hoping my local council will publicise other ways we can help. I’ve been with the mod my whole working life and have many friends in the armed forces that have served and worked with many of the poor Afghans, especially the translators, who will now face punishment and death. Breaks my heart

How did you get involved? How do refugees find you - is it through a charity? What a wonderful thing to do.

We'd like to do this. We've hosted many English language students in the past and found it really interesting and rewarding (Very very different from traumatised refugees I know, but some some of the same sharing of very different cultures and 'nurturing' of single young men living in a new country may apply). Can I ask you a couple of questions?

Is there any financial recompense to you for their food etc? (We wouldn't necessarily want it but it's a consideration.)
Also, we live in a fairly middle class monocultural area (although we are a mixed ethnicity family ourselves). I worry there wouldn't be a good support network of local people from the refugee's country of origin. How are the refugees who live with you supported? Do they tap into local networks from their country?

I just wanted to say thank you.

We are so incredibly lucky to live in a country where we can live, educate and work without risking our lives. I can't imagine how desperate those who were clinging to a plane that was taking off must have felt to think that was a safer solution than staying in their country.

@flashbac

Thank you for starting this thread! How long do they typically stay for? Are there any tips you can give?

There are 3 "classes" of stay, short, medium or long term. Short means under two weeks, medium means up to 3 months, and long term means more than that.

The longest I have ever accepted anyone for was 6 months - typically, you are sent details, given a rough time line, and at that stage, you can say how long the room is available for.

Tips. Well everyone who stays in an individual, with their own needs, some want to be left alone, some appreciate being involved in family life.

I would say make it very very clear what they have access to from the first time you show them around the house - otherwise they might end up hiding in their room eating crisps, while you wonder why they are not coming downstairs to watch tv, or eating any of the food provided.

I generally tell them to help themselves to any food they want, but also have a specific fridge shelf with some simple complete ready meals for them. I also give them a shelf in the bathroom, and put a notice on the door making it clear what time I will need the bathroom myself on a working day. I also provide sanpro for women, and show how to dispose of it

I show them the calendar, and we add any of their dates onto it - legal /medical appointments, work, ( if they have a job) courses, etc.

If they have appointments, I make sure they have travel cards the day before

Show them where churches and mosques are - most have been Muslim, but some also Christian

Show them where local bus stops and train stations are- warn them of local high crime areas, Give them the wifi password

Don't assume they will want to be introduced to other Afghans, the country is effectively in a state of civil war, and many Afghans are actually suspicious or outright afraid of each other.

Offer English conversation practice, if its what they want.

Don't make assumptions about what they do or don't understand, some guests have said nothing at all, but it has transpired later that they understood most of what we said.

Don't have expectations.

If anything else occurs to me, I will add it

I’d like to ask if, as a host, your given any training about how best to support the people living with you. Presumably they are likely to have experienced trauma, possible multiple traumas. Also are you given any prep about how to help them adjust to this country and culture etc.

@Haffdonga

We'd like to do this. We've hosted many English language students in the past and found it really interesting and rewarding (Very very different from traumatised refugees I know, but some some of the same sharing of very different cultures and 'nurturing' of single young men living in a new country may apply). Can I ask you a couple of questions?

Is there any financial recompense to you for their food etc? (We wouldn't necessarily want it but it's a consideration.)
Also, we live in a fairly middle class monocultural area (although we are a mixed ethnicity family ourselves). I worry there wouldn't be a good support network of local people from the refugee's country of origin. How are the refugees who live with you supported? Do they tap into local networks from their country?

No financial compensation no. I provide food, travel cards, toiletries, sometimes stationary. I don't have to though. I did think it would impact on the price of my home insurance, but it has not done, although the insurance company likes to be informed when I have guests, and I would not be insured for criminal damage from a guest. That has never happened, but these are disturbed and traumatised people, and I accept this could be a risk

No, we don't introduce refugees to people from their own country - this can cause a lot of anxiety and fear, when people come from countries with official or unofficial civil wars - they tend to already have friends in this country who they are in touch with, if housed very distantly from.

They are supported by the charity which places them, and are often in the process of making appeals for residency, or for housing, and the charity will be facilitating that.

Some may want to do English language courses, of similar, and I have helped find them places, - these courses tend to be free for refugees, and they often make local friends there- maybe from their own country or maybe from other countries

@Whatinthelord

I’d like to ask if, as a host, your given any training about how best to support the people living with you. Presumably they are likely to have experienced trauma, possible multiple traumas. Also are you given any prep about how to help them adjust to this country and culture etc.

no not really, but I became a host after working with refugees in other settings, both in education, ( I am a teacher) and in shelters for rough sleepers - so it might be that I wasn't offered training because I was already experienced.

You have a social worker assessment, similar to being a fosterer, but much shorter and more simple, and it might be that people are offered training at that stage, if it is appropriate and available?

But I can contact the charity and ask for advice at any stage, either by email or phone

Brilliant @54321nought

This is really interesting thread

Do you have a partner or children that also live with you?

@54321nought thanks for the answer.

What charity do you work through?

@Lumpwoody

Do you have a partner or children that also live with you?

I am a single parent, my children lived here when I started taking in refugees ( I originally did it as a foster carer- then when I stopped fostering, I started hosting adults) They are not at university, so are here some of the time

You are amazing. Thank you!

My children have always 100% supported me with this, and have enjoyed meeting and getting to know some of our guests. Other guests have been more reserved, and we have not really got to know them

[quote Whatinthelord]@54321nought thanks for the answer.

What charity do you work through?[/quote]
I won't say which, because I don't want to be identified, but there are several mentioned on the other thread (the one asking where Afghan refugees are going to live)

*they are NOW at university, not "they are not at university" sorry