I was a lap dancer for 16 years, AMA

[Tiny2018]

I noticed a thread about stripclubs on the relationships board. I was a lap dancer from the age of around 20. I worked less and less until Covid hit and the club's were shut down.
Feel free to ask me anything.

Did you feel safe? Did you ever go with a person afterwards? Was it fun to do?

What was your shaving / depilating / waxing routine. Any top tips in that area?

We're you just a dancer it did you have to offer extras? Do you hate men now?

Did you dance for many women ? I think in recent years there was an upward trend for groups of women/couples visiting.?

In terms of safety, we always had more than adequate security. Though to be fair, most of the girls, myself included rarely needed it. Working in this line of work, certainly after many years give a girls little patience for bullshit. Many learned over the years how to put men in their place if they were disrespectful. I have rarely seen men customers manhandled by doormen. If they touch a dancer once, they are asked not to repeat it, if it happens again, they are promptly removed. I can honestly say I have only ever felt unsafe when men start fights amongst themselves, some of which I have been caught up in. The worst one I recall was some guys from another city coming into the club, there being a fall out amongst them and our doormen. They proceeded to throw glass bottles around, the girls all ran for cover, I ran to the upstairs flat and his under a bed. I was around 22 then. Other than that, I have rarely felt unsafe.

In terms of shaving, I started with only a little hair, trimmed tidily towards the bottom half of my lady bits. I eventually took the whole lot of as it feels much cleaner. Interestingly, many men often requested ladies with a full bush though. Most dancers are clean shaven or only have a strip, so if a girl came to work from a different city and happened to have a full hairdo, they tended to make a lot of money.

I was just a dancer yes. I never sold out, as some are known to do in times of desperation.
I have danced for many girls and couples. At one point in my early twenties I had a regular female customer who appeared besotted.
Couples are a mixed bag. In some cases both are up for it. In some, the woman is more up for it and he gets off on her getting off on it.
In some cases he's dragged her along and she's uncomfortable, or becomes jealous, in which case I stop the dance.
The worst couple I had came in it seems for nothing more than belittling and shaming the girls. They were awful, condescending.
I gave them some smart was comments back and they emailed my boss the next day with a complaint about me being rude to customers 😂

Do I hate men now? Myself and many of my friends who did the job are incredibly untrusting when it comes to men. Most are in relationships, but have their issues.
I would say I have a deep seated resentment towards men, yes, generally speaking, many, after a skinful of beer are incredibly arseholish. Particularly in groups, the male bravado thing is pathetic.
I have however met some genuinely lovely, kind and considerate men. Some wise men too.

Was it fun...God I've got some stories...
yes I would say I had fun. When I had kids, things changed obviously, there was more pressure to make money. Pressure never helps as I always say they can smell the desperation.
But yes I had some amazing times and made some good friends along the way.

How much money did you make on a good week?

When I was younger, I would work Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights and it was usually around £1200.
The industry is reliant on the seasons though; I started off at a coastal town, so the Summer months, there was money to be made. The winter was often quite grim. The weeks leading up to Christmas were often lucrative, as we had large groups coming in for work doos.

After the smoking ban and the recession in the same year though, there was a notable shift in profit due to less people venturing out for nights out. I would say it somewhat killed the industry.

I would say I have a deep seated resentment towards men, yes

Would you consider that is perhaps you have met an unrepresentative cohort of men because of your profession however.
I wouldn't want a relationship with a man who wants a lap dance, I choose not to have such men in my life.

A few if that's ok.

Do you think Covid will kill the industry off?

Do you understand why many women don't like the industry, and do you have any sympathy with that?

Do you think being a customer says anything in general about the sort of man someone is and their attitude to women, or not?

You say you never "sold out". Do you see a strong boundary between lap dancing and prostitution or a soft line on a scale?

It's all selling sex at the end of the day. Why do you differenciate your services from those of a prostitute?

Did you find men were trying to touch themselves when they watched you? I am assuming and would hope that this is banned!!!

@HarryDaylight that's pretty obvious isn't it, prostitutes fuck their clients.

[quote userxx]@HarryDaylight that's pretty obvious isn't it, prostitutes fuck their clients. [/quote]
Not always.

Did you learn to dance before you started? Do you have to have a really toned beautiful figure?

What I mean by selling out is that I never crossed the line into doing something I didn't want to do.
I have absolutely nothing against prostitution, I, however would rather not go any further than lap dancing. I never did, and for that I am proud.

I'm genuinely curious if you grew up in a healthy, happy environment..

I hope you are in s really good place now.

The resentment I refer to is not only due to the job, but to personal issues I have had with men, my Father, ex boyfriends etc.
It would be reasonable to suggest that I have been exposed to a certain type or category of men and an therefore being unreasonable.
As I mentioned above, I have met some lovely men along the way, but unfortunately the majority are easily led astray by women. This is not to say that women are to blame, just that many men become weak when it comes to female nudity. It's hard to describe.
After working pretty much every weekend and some week nights for 16 years, I would suggest that the men I have met whilst at work represent men as a species, rather than some seedy minority group.

I think Covid will finish it off tbh. As mentioned earlier though, it had gone seriously downhill anyway, but I believe this is the nail in the coffin.

I understand why women don't like the industry. I don't particularly like the industry, but enjoyed certain aspects of the job.
The past few years I was incredibly conflicted regarding this- and spoke up to management, door staff and girls. I started to drink heavily whilst at work and often spoke my mind on the matter.
When I was younger there was no issue. I worked, I made my money and I went home. As I got older I became quite introspective and realised that I disagreed with many parts of the industry.

"I would suggest that the men I have met whilst at work represent men as a species, rather than some seedy minority group".

Thanks. That's probably quite depressing for us all.

Do you think that being a "customer" in itself in a club (not just on a one off drunken peer pressured stag night) means that a man is necessarily sexist/misogynist?