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AMA
Original poster

I'm Korean, AMA

276 replies

NightsIn · 15/08/2020 02:40

I'm a Korean mum of one. I used to live in the UK for two years.

If you have any questions about culture, life, coronavirus, education, politics, language, child rearing, food or amything else in Korea, let me know!

(I'm not really up to date with the latest music/dramas, so might not be able to answer much about that but I can try!!)

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 18/08/2020 09:06

Thanks for this thread OP is fascinating.

I have one- I stumbled across some YouTube videos with Korean young women having the necks of their napes shaved completely bald but then their faces etc too?! As in getting rid of those really really fine hairs that we all have and in the UK at least we tend to keep! Is that really a thing or rare.

Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 09:08

"It seems the (usual) year of planning weddings in the uk is not a thing in dramas, they all happen quite quickly.
Also would love to know about blind dates and marriage! Dramas seem to indicate that theses are for the sole purpose of getting married."

It doesn't take much time to plan a wedding because the wedding hall organises everything. Just need to choose a dress really.

After university and military is done, all dating is about marriage.

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Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 09:10

"What is the view of Christianity, and other religions?"

Most people are not religious. Buddhists, no one has a problem with. Christians...well they're not popular, but very powerful.

"Also, it seemed that there were specific professions acceptable for women. Is this still the case now?"

Not really, women can do anything just maybe not physical jobs.

"Lastly, how are the Japanese viewed now? I know this is a sweeping statement, but there can be a generation or two for a war to be put in the past.."

I wrote about the Japanese earlier. We don't have a problem with Japanese people but we will never forgive the government til they apologise.

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BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:11

Thanks for this thread, I have so many questions! People seem much slimmer and fitter in South Korea. Do people do lots of exercise? Is it more ingrained in culture from a young age?

I know some people adopted fro. South Korea. Are lots of children put up for adoption and why is this? What kind of contraception is used and do people have abortions? Do people avoid sex before marriage?

Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 09:12

"Korean young women having the necks of their napes shaved completely bald but then their faces etc too?! As in getting rid of those really really fine hairs that we all have and in the UK at least we tend to keep! Is that really a thing or rare."

Neck, I don't know, but shaving your face to get rid of small hairs and dead skin is normal. More for dead skin, I think.

OP posts:
BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:15

You mentioned you are a housewife. Is it quite common to stay at home after you have a baby? Are women respected for staying at home? In the UK it is not looked at with much respect sadly. Even if you only want a few years out, more people would rather put their child in nursery which is very expensive and just lose money until their child starts school so they can keep their old job.

BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:17

Do you have lots of baby clubs and groups so you are not lonely at home with the baby, or do you spend a lot of time with family?

Do most people breastfeed?

Do most people have natural births, creation etc?

BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:18
  • c section not creation
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 09:18

"Do people do lots of exercise? Is it more ingrained in culture from a young age?"

I think people just eat well. A lot of people don't have time for exercise.

"I know some people adopted fro. South Korea. Are lots of children put up for adoption and why is this? What kind of contraception is used and do people have abortions? Do people avoid sex before marriage?"

I don't know anything about adoption, just it's not common. Sex - same as every other country but we don't talk about it much.

OP posts:
BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:19

how many children do most people have?

Are there many job prospects if you don't go to university?

What jobs are respected and do you think jt is different to the UK?

BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 09:20

you said it's not seen as good to be a single parent, so do people have abortions if they fall pregnant or is it more normal to give a baby up for adoption?

bettys · 18/08/2020 09:58

Thank you so much NightsIn for answering my earlier questions, it is a great thread!

After university and military is done, all dating is about marriage.

For some reason I find this really really surprising. So different to my own & friends' experience, where marriage is often the result of a serious relationship but not the be all and end all. Most of my friends (and me) lived together as couples for a long time before getting married (and then often only because of children or tax/legal reasons).

I also read that the marriage & birth rate is dropping with the Sampo Generation . Is this true in your experience? It sounds like stress is such a huge factor in people's lives are young people really giving up on relationships and having a family?

Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 10:58

"Is it quite common to stay at home after you have a baby?"

Extremely common, I don't know any women who work after having a baby

" Are women respected for staying at home?"

No, but we can't get a job either. There is a term like "cockroach mum" that became really common a few years ago. Like the mum that just stays at home stealing her husband's salary. But usually your company pushes you out after you have a baby and even part time jobs are hard to get - they won't employ a mum if they can get a student with no obligations.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 11:38

"Do you have lots of baby clubs and groups so you are not lonely at home with the baby, or do you spend a lot of time with family?"

Yes there are lots of baby groups and it is easy to meet other mums. I see my family and husband's family a lot too.

Do most people breastfeed?

Most, I'm not sure. But we have breastfeeding rooms in every supermarket, train station and shopping mall.

Do most people have natural births, creation etc?

I'm not sure at all, but you can just choose what is best for you.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 11:41

"how many children do most people have?"

More than two is very strange, one is most normal

"Are there many job prospects if you don't go to university?"

I literally do not know a single person my age who didn't go to university. But I suppose they must do something. Maybe building or that kind of thing.

"What jobs are respected and do you think jt is different to the UK?"

It seemed in the UK that having a job like builder or mechanic was basically ok. In Korea, office worker, lawyer, doctor, any government job (we have a lot of jobs run by government) or teacher is best job.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 11:41

"you said it's not seen as good to be a single parent, so do people have abortions if they fall pregnant or is it more normal to give a baby up for adoption?"

I don't know what people do really

OP posts:
BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 11:51

Gosh op that sounds so hard :( I know in some cultures it's expected for the woman to stay at home, but they are at least respected for it. How old is your child?
Do people tend to have children when they're older?

BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 11:51

pa thanks for answering these questions!

AllTeaAllShade · 18/08/2020 13:04

Hi OP this has been a great thread so far. My question might be a difficult one to answer as I feel you might have a different view having spent some time in the UK...but here goes. My children and I are very interested in Korean culture from historic to modern, we absolutely love the food and kids are interested in learning Hanguk-eo.We hope one day to visit Korea (south) most likely to stay in Seoul then branch out from there, my only worry is how we may be perceived..my partner and I are of mixed racial background. While he can "pass" as a caucasian I am very obviously of black origin, so my question is
would most people treat us/our children any differently because of this...we would love to visit but I wouldn't want my children to feel too uncomfortable. We do get curious people question us about kids ethnicity a lot but they are usually polite...that we are fine with.
Another worry I have is that my partner and I have some visible tattoos (arms legs and neck) would that be seen as quite scary, would it be best to cover up?

Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 13:29

"For some reason I find this really really surprising. So different to my own & friends' experience, where marriage is often the result of a serious relationship but not the be all and end all. Most of my friends (and me) lived together as couples for a long time before getting married (and then often only because of children or tax/legal reasons)."

It's not really possible to live together before marriage. Most people stay with parents til they marry

"I also read that the marriage & birth rate is dropping with the Sampo Generation . Is this true in your experience? It sounds like stress is such a huge factor in people's lives are young people really giving up on relationships and having a family?"

Let's see. The people from that generation have only just reached marrying age so it's not clear yet. But most people marry later and have few children.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 13:29

"How old is your child?
Do people tend to have children when they're older?"

In kindergarten.

28 to 35 is normal age nowadays.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightsIn · 18/08/2020 13:33

"While he can "pass" as a caucasian I am very obviously of black origin, so my question is
would most people treat us/our children any differently because of this...we would love to visit but I wouldn't want my children to feel too uncomfortable. We do get curious people question us about kids ethnicity a lot but they are usually polite...that we are fine with.
Another worry I have is that my partner and I have some visible tattoos (arms legs and neck) would that be seen as quite scary, would it be best to cover up?"

People might look at you but not in a bad way, especially if you have children. Of course most people are polite, and no one is violent.

No one cares about tattoos, everyone under 30 has them and very used to seeing them on foreigners. Maybe in the countryside, some people could look. In Seoul, no one will even notice.

The main thing I see that surprises us is foreigners not covering their chest. It's better to wear a tshirt, not a vest. But tattoos, no big deal at all.

OP posts:
BiscuitLovers098124 · 18/08/2020 13:46

What were the strangest things you found about living in Britain?

boatyardblues · 18/08/2020 14:16

The main thing I see that surprises us is foreigners not covering their chest. It's better to wear a tshirt, not a vest. But tattoos, no big deal at all.

Summertime in the UK must have been quite an experience for, you shirtless/topless men in parks, walking down streets etc. If you studied in the north of England or Scotland this may have been less of a problem, mind. The recent hot weather in the UK brought them out in droves. 😆

AllTeaAllShade · 18/08/2020 14:43

Thank you for the reassurance @NightsIn. We dont mind curious looks as we are an uncommon combination so the kids are used to that. Also we usually wear clothes that cover us up so we don't get baked by the sun! But you can see the occasional bit of tattoo poking out, luckily my partner is not the type to go shirtless in public as I dont like it myself.
We cannot wait to visit your beautiful country.

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