I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

There have been rumblings around monitoring home ed for many years now. I wouldn’t have an issue with some kind of monitoring, I keep my dc work as examples of what we do and to show progress, however I think it needs to be done properly and by people who are positive about home education and understand the various different approaches etc. Currently people are wary of local authorities because many give out incorrect information or even lie. You need to be able to trust those doing the monitoring are knowledgeable and trustworthy, I don’t think that is too much to ask.

Who should be determining what a child’s needs are though Alexa? Shouldn’t that job fall to the people who know the child best, themselves and their parents?

Yet you want complete strangers to make decisions based on brief meetings with the family.

Do you not trust in your own ability to recognise and meet your child’s needs, or us that only reserved for people who do things differently to you?

As is this child, they are spending 6 hours a couple of times a week involved in their learning. Just because they’re not doing it alongside similarly aged people doesn’t mean it’s a mental health concern.

Who should be determining what a child’s needs are though Alexa? Shouldn’t that job fall to the people who know the child best, themselves and their parents?

And what if those parents don't actually have the child's best interest at heart? Then what?

Do you not trust in your own ability to recognise and meet your child’s needs, or us that only reserved for people who do things differently to you?

Yes, I trust my own judgment to a certain degree, but I recognise that I am not all-seeing and that my understanding and perspective is enriched by the insights and perspectives of others. It seems incredibly arrogant to me that a parent should assume that they will always know what's best for their child.

With regard to the inspections, I think it should be for the parents to articulate what they consider their child's needs to be, and how they believe that they are meeting these, but yes, the parents' views should be subject to external scrutiny, why not? Do you think that there should be no protection in place for children whose parents are failing to educate them adequately?

@beamz - so most things are organised in FB groups or among groups of parents. When he was younger we did more things at people's homes but mainly in halls or education centres. Now he does more things at education centres or colleges/art gallery etc. But still some things in homes. The online stuff he does is not at set times. They involve on line lessons/lectures and online worksheets/tests. He doesn't have PDA traits so I can't comment on that. I wish you well with your DS's education. Autism can be a challenge!
@PinkyU - personally, no - in that we have been able to access the child development centre when needed. However, if he was at school I think we would have had to push for things, earlier.
@AlexaShutUp - some great questions - I'll do my best to answer! I think evaluating effectiveness is as to if he achieves his goals. My DS has 2 best friends and then a group of a few more. Most he met through home-ed but some he met through hobbies. He sees his 2 best friends approx 3-4 times a week and talks to them inbetween. He goes to classes with them, trips/days outs, hangs out with them at home, goes to the park, library, swimming etc with them. They have sleepovers, they play board games and consoles, they work on projects together. Sometimes they just sit next to each other and read! They go on camps together. I think teamwork, leadership is learned through classes and activities, things like projects they do together, scouting, DoE. Strengths and weaknesses - I suppose by seeing what is easy and what is hard. He learns to persevere by having to do things to reach his goals. I don't think home-ed has evolved to be more like school - the learning opportunities are different to those at school, at least in part (but a big part).

And what if those parents don't actually have the child's best interest at heart? Then what?

Indeed. Or what if they do have their child's best interests at heart but happen to be very misguided? Severe mental health issues, for example, or membership of a religious cult?

Children are not possessions of their parents, for the parents to do whatever they want with them. They have needs and rights of their own.

When should this “inspection” begin?

A huge amount of learning and development is done in the first 3 years, this will almost exclusively fall to parents, should they also be inspected to make sure they’re meeting their child’s needs? Or that they even know what those needs are?

Can we trust parents with their children or should we all be inspected?

Another whose HE "friends" spend so much time slagging off the school system and trying to make us feel like crap.

The irony is watching the two in our circle who do HE does nothing but solidify that school was a better decision for the children.

Also - are you anti vax? Seem to go hand in hand with the HE life.

There is a huge difference between a hidden child and a home educated child.

Personally, I think there should be some mandatory contact points during the pre-school years, yes. We should not allow any child to slip through the net.

Pinky, I'm interested to know if you think there are some HE families - even if these are only a small minority of HE families overall - who fail to provide their children with an adequate standard of education (academic, social or whatever), and if so, how you think the rights of children in those families should be protected and promoted in the absence of a mandatory evaluation/inspection process?

Yes, some HE are not meeting the needs of the child, however I think a much, much higher number of children are not having their needs met in school environments, even with multiple professionals involved.

There is a huge difference between a hidden child and a home educated child.

Yes, I'm not disputing that. I certainly don't intend to suggest that all HE children are hidden and/or subject to the whims of their troubled parents. However, I do think it possible - likely - that some well intentioned parents will fail to do a good job of educating their children, and I am interested in the question of how that is picked up and addressed for the benefit of the children concerned.

There is no scenario where every child had their needs perfectly met. If we’re willing to accept that a large number of children in school environments are not having their educational and wellbeing needs met, why is their such throwing of hands over the tiny minority of HE who are not having their needs met?

Why accept one as acceptable but the other as unacceptable?

OP, no questions but just wanted to say well done.
Mine was H.ed for primary and still would be, but found a school that 100% met her needs, and let her choose her own subjects to study.
No refusal of any GCSE or A level she chooses.
It's not mainstream though.

Yes, some HE are not meeting the needs of the child, however I think a much, much higher number of children are not having their needs met in school environments, even with multiple professionals involved.

Well, yes, inevitably the number will be be higher because of the relatively small proportion of the population which is home educated. I'm certainly not arguing that schools are all perfect, far from it.

My point is rather that, in the case of school educated children, there may be multiple interested parties invested in trying to get the best outcome for that child. If the school is not doing a good job, the child has parents who can advocate on his/her behalf. My question is, who advocates on behalf of the home educated child if the parents are not doing a good job?

Why accept one as acceptable but the other as unacceptable?

Neither is acceptable, but for me, as I said earlier, it's about the lack of challenge and accountability.

I think it depends on how you define needs.
If you define them the way that mainstream education does, by a curriculum set by a government that is very restrictive and encouraging academic subjects over the more practical, well that's hardly meeting the needs of all children, that's just education for the masses and encouraging them to take up mainstream type of jobs.
Many people aren't suited to these types of employment so you aren't really educating the child.

Just on

Just one thing i can't quite seem to work out. You say he is highly intelligent yet is only going to do 5 GCSE's. From that point of view, given you have 10 yourself, you are doing him a huge disservice.

You have said he will get more in depth knowledge and that there is more to life than GCSE's but surely that applies to most academically able children anyway? Mine is predicted 5 A's at higher this year, but there learning isn't limited to what they are doing in school.

I think evaluating effectiveness is as to if he achieves his goals.

OP, thank you for answering my questions. Can I ask what you would do if you felt that your DS's goals were not broad or challenging enough? Would you intervene, and if so, how would you assess this? Also, how do you go about identifying aspects of your ds's education that neither you nor he might have considered?

I think it depends on how you define needs.

Fair point, Devlesko. How would you define needs and how would you go about assessing these?

@recordbox your child is being taught how to pass their highers, a HE child has no parameters in which to learn. Your child MUST know xyz to pass their exam, ALL of their timetabled class for that subject will focus on what they need to pass their exam, there is simply no time to explore extended concepts and peripheral subjects around that in school. On top of that they’ll also have hours of home study as well so finding time to go above and beyond in a particular subject is hugely restricted.

Reducing the amount of subjects a child studies and providing time and opportunity to explore it in a broad and focused way is not limiting or restrictive.

Mine are 8 and 5yo and they do activities like dance, riding and judo that are not part of the school curriculum where we are, but what exactly is the relevance of this?

When you say tutors and classes do you mean extra-curricular activities as well? And I would still be interested in knowing how long you and your DH take to prepare for your teaching.

Wow a lot of judgement and misinformation about home education on this thread.
A lot of people choose to HE and their kids are just fine.
A lot of people are forced into it because of how crap the mainstream education system is. Its all very well going on about the benefits of 9 GCSEs and a better chance of a russell group university if you cant get your child through the bloody door because the whole environment is so traumatic for them, yet apparently not behind enough to even consider an EHCP.
I am happy that we have a basic free state education free for all of our children, but clearly it doesnt work for everyone judging by the amount of children that leave with nothing, end up in mental distress and the levels of self harming and bullying are skyrocketing. You call that socialisation. I call it traumatic. Education is not supposed to be something you need to recover from.

Wow a lot of judgement and misinformation about home education on this thread.

I'm sure that's true, but there is just as much judgment and misinformation on here about schools. The trouble is, we all tend to generalise and make assumptions on the basis of our own limited experience.