I am an ex Jehovah's witness. AMA

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Not sure if this will be of interest to anyone! As per the title I am an ex Jehovah's witness that had been disfellowshipped from the religion. AMA

The first week I moved in to my house a lady knocked on my door and introduced herself. I invited her in thought she was a neighbor being neighbourly. She never mentioned JW until she was going out of the door. 4 years on she still comes every Monday and she isn't a neighbour. How do i politely tell her she is wasting her time with me?

I’m exjw too. For about 4 yrs properly but fading before that. It was actually trying to explain to my Dc what we believed that set it off. It just sounded so ridiculous! Of course wouldn’t it be wonderful if this life is a precursor and we would all live in happiness on a paradise earth in the future. Lovely. Except what about everyone else that wouldn’t!

I’ve had one cousin ask outright if I celebrate Xmas etc and I said yes so she cut contact. She who could have had in utero surgery to heal her DC with spina bifida but turned it down due to the blood issue. Here is me that had blood products after losing a lot of blood after EMCS with DD1 who also had blood and subsequently died. And that was it for me. How dare this god not support us and help her to live or help us be strong to make the right decisions to help her. And my H saying that’s not how it works. Fuck that shit.

My mother admitted to my X one day that she used the religion to control us, so we wouldn’t get into strife. None of her DC are in now and neither live in the same country as hers. She’s also been manipulating my aunt, DF for 29yrs, who she used to ignore, to get to me by hinting she’d disinherit me if I didn’t make up with her. Fuck her too.

The whole religion is about control and oppression. I know some lovely, lovely people in it and still count them as my friends. One would stay my friend, the others would not. It makes me sad but I can’t change it. I just don’t believe. I could go through the motions but that’s not enough, so why bother. My H doesn’t either and I suspect he just did it to keep his mum happy. But she is actually our biggest supporter and loves us no matter what. And that’s how it should be. When my pseudo mum/gp of my Dc saw we celebrated birthdays etc she decided not to have anything to do with us, just went quiet, until I asked her why. MIL couldn’t understand that at all, but that’s what they’re supposed to do!

I went to stay with one of lovely friends at their parents house one time and saw 3 photos of DC on the wall. I said who is that, my brother they said. I didn’t realise that they had one! He of course was DF. He never ever mentioned him. His parents still help him out quietly, but it’s as if he didn’t exist. Just awful. I could not ever do that to my flesh and blood.

There were a couple of lovely women who would chat to me about my blossom tree on Saturdays when I was gardening out the front. After many conversations it transpired they were JW. They made it a priority to see me about two Saturdays in a month.

They were really lovely. They stopped coming when I said I wasn't remotely worried about Armageddon. I might have laughed at them, which I'm not proud about, but the question, 'Are you worried about Armageddon?' really took me aback!

After that one of the ladies brought her husband around for the hard sell. I am very proud that I dealt with it alone - husband in the armed foffff

Aaargh! Phone shut down.

Husband in the armed forces. I am sooooo programmed into being polite but I argued and was stoic and I haven't seen either of thrm since.

Then, they sent around a young mother with a boy if about three who talked to me, but I said how lovely his suit and bow tie was and refused to take the literature in his hands.

I thought that was manipulative. Since, I've moved. Do they gave access to new addresses? I had a leaflet through, but no surprise visitors.

Do they HAVE access to new addresses?

Do they leave you alone if you're Jewish?

What happens if you leave as a child? (age 12)
How can your parents shun you?

I’d imagine you can’t leave as a child as I think they don’t eat baptised until adulthood so you can’t really leave before that can you?

The rules exist, and are horrific alsohuman

Whether there were lovely people is all a bit smoke and mirrora really, and its pretending they don't operate cruel rules.

And, yes, from what I've read on here, and seen in documentaries, and heard from a young boy and girl that escaped, it has all the hallmarks of a cult.

Now, there's an element of these threads running through a lot of religions, but I wouldn't call that all cults. In this one, however, JWs seek to isolate and actively punish, offer no safeguarding and operate a patriarchy.

If someone told me what clothes to wear that would be enough for me, but you brush over all that they stand for, ignorance, and refusal to accept medical help for fear of fire, hell and damnation, or whatever. Living life in fear is not what mainatream god is about! Not about suffering and punishments, but openness, honesty, and helping, not shutting yourself away in an echo chamber for fear others might infect you.

You have refused to accept the experiences of others and completely deny these rules exist. They absolutely do.

Who has to wear what men tell them?!!!

Die, instead of receiving simple procedures that save lives. Thats ignorance, and that's just two rules. Yes, fuck that shit.

so so sad to hear you lost your baby HerRoyal

No one person has the right to control what others wear, how they conduct their private health matters for their well-being, or manipulate and brainwash. It modern society abuse is a crime, its called coercive control.

I truly believe that some think that because it's an expression of godliness that makes it ok, but nothing makes it ok. The sooner people stop trying to control each other, in the name of anything, the better.

Patriarchy needs to end . Noone should be part of that. Funny how its all.about the men and how they refuse to acknowledge women holding any power.

A question: I am genuinely perplexed to wonder whats behind this? Are JW saying women are just not capable? Or that it's somehow man's work, and women only have wife work? Why are women in JW supppsed to accept a husband as the head of the family instead of as an equal partner to share life and responsibilities with? What's their reasoning. Is it simply that women are inherently evil and can't be trusted as per the 'eve' syndrome and so must be punished with painful periods and painful childbirth? Which btw ain't so, as whilst period pain is common, its to varying degrees and I know many who don't have any pain. How does JW explain this common fact of life?

Who wants to live under a rule that says half the population is evil? Nice.

Get baptised ha ha.

I think I recall OP saying she was baptised at 13. Sgt

You have, and are suffering from harassment Fenny to have ended up feeling so worried about them finding your new address. They would have no way of doing that, so you are safe now. I guess they could check the electoral roll in a year if they are that persistent criminal or if one of them saw you going into your home. Do you know people that know them, if so, just be clear with them that you dont want your address sharing, for any reason even if its for kind and lovely reasons

I was baptised at 12 and yes op said 13.

The truth is it’s an MLM built on volunteer hours and donations, with the largest number of recruits in developing countries. There are literally billions of dollars sloshing about, someone somewhere is doing very well out of it, including all The Pennsylvania real estate sales and the trust fund with shares in Philip Morris.

Yes you know I felt so cheated that they were so lovely and then she brought her husband around for the hard sell. I was vulnerable at the time; husband on active service abroad and alone with two small boys.

The thing is, I am not remotely interested in organised religion. I also have a degree in Theology and masters in Philosophy. I really do know my stuff, learnt John's Gospel in ancient Greek, for example. Can argue intelligently like there's no tomorrow. Changing ancient texts is not desirable to me at all, nor is believing it can be applied to the 21st century quite so literally.

Perhaps I wasn't quite as vulnerable as they initially thought.

JWs don't encourage university education - do they? (I have this impression from very clever JWs at school but whom won't apply to uni.)

You have refused to accept the experiences of others and completely deny these rules exist.

Perhaps you could show me the evidence for this @Smotheroffive?

My views are very similar to yours @RoseQuartzGlow - I’m not angry, btw, just frustrated by a certain poster with an agenda!

I don’t agree with their stance on blood transfusions at all, that’s the major thing I guess. As a young woman, when I left, I couldn’t/didn’t want to adhere to their teachings about sex before marriage and I was into the kind of music and culture they condemned.

I think they discourage university education because it would involve exposure to a lifestyle they condemn @Fennybridges, as well as a level of critical thinking that would make it difficult not to question their beliefs.

You keep asserting this also

All your posts are there, I am not going to repost them that borish and unnecessary.

I have talked about the actual rules that cause harm.

You have talked about lovely.

Its very different.

Whats this 'agenda' then? Does it offend you that these rules have caused harm, and you want to protect the evil worldly types from speaking bad of an organisation that is mysogynistic and letting dc be abused and not holding perpetrators to account, thinking they are above the law? These are crimes. The church in general has also been guilty of this, and now universities are. These are crimes, please do not deny or avoid, or minimise how serious this is.

How can you defend this?

Or hide behind rose and try to ally yourself to her.

Will you speak out about these rules that pp have told you about causing them very real harm?

OK, no evidence available so we’ll just take your word that your accusations against me are baseless. Would you like to provide some examples of JWs’ “rules” that are criminal and cause harm so I can comment meaningfully on what you’re talking about? Or is that too much trouble too?

Read your own posts, and they're here throughout the thread. I've been clear.

Plenty of evidence. All over the thread. Plenty, of your take on it, and others experiences, or did you not read them, as you seem to have forgotten what pp have actually said about rules, and the effect that JW has had on them. I am not going to be picking over the thread requoting some of the awful stuff thats been shared, thats very upsetting to read, and I wont be using others' pp simply to answer you and your continued berating.

I am not going to do your work for you, and upset others in the process, just because you think it's ok to accuse me.

I have asked you serious questions and still you dodge them.

Will you come out and just admit you defend their behaviour, or just keep saying they're lovely?

So you left because they disagreed with their music? Not all the other rules others have been forced to live under for fear of shunning and isolation punishments.

PP on this very thread have been telling you this.

I am an ex JW. Let me qualify with some things. Trinity Nah, Revelation, complex mix of Russellite stuff according to JW and end of the world to be reborn. And I can find any part of the bible in under 10 seconds.

My advice to you would be, keep at it. I write this on Sunday my day of leisure. But that’s what I am now, a creature of leisure with no bad conscience, no ministry, no kingdom hall, just my partner, dog, career, friends (they will come) and my fundamental self.

JW is a cult. I was in from age 7, I remember my last Christmas.
Stay strong !

Reasoned debate depends on both sides presenting a reasoned argument with evidence. I’m not wasting my time when the best that can be done is this gem So you left because they disagreed with their music?

I have only your words to go on.

I have not berated you like you have me for reflecting all the posts about JW being a cult (from those pp actual experiences) along with all other horrible events posted on this thread which JW insist upon.

Still you don't say, won't attack their ethics. Defend them. Wont say you dont, or that you disagree with their practices.

I am not angry at you, but your posts do come across as angry at me.

I am angey that such horrible things have happened to pp.all in the name of god. That seems blasphemous doesn't it?

Interesting thread!

1 have a JW first cousin. He was drawn in, in his late 20s. He was a troubled young man desperately searching for 'meaning', for certainty. He was married to a divorcee but they both entered the cult together. They then had 2 DSs.

He, like the converted, became a zealot. My dad, an atheist, had 'some fun' with him, debunking his nonsense, but this was because my dad was angry at this lad's endless nagging and harassment of his parents, my dad's brother and wife, in trying to convert them. The wife, my aunt, is a lovely woman and does everything she can to try and broker peace, noting how wonderfully 'supportive' the JW are of each other..... etc.

Anyway, my cousin's 2 DSs didn't go to uni, both are window cleaners (!), the eldest has married within the cult.

How you apply the bible and to what level is a personal choice.

One person may go to university whilst another may not.

One person may accept dialysis and another will not.

One may apply the requirements in public but in private does not.

I have friends who are JW and friends who are not.

JW do not believe only they go to heaven. Just being a JW does not qualify you for anything.

If a person abuses a child, steals or does something illegal then you call the police. A judicial review is a different arrangement.

There are children in school who attend collective worship and some that do not.

We are all different and JW are all different.

There are some JW I would not invite to my home and others I would.
You can't judge a whole religion on some people.

The GB do not talk to God. They exam the bible and discuss and refine what it may mean. Clearly praying to God can be seen talking to God.

All people are equal but the brothers take on the role of organisation, home visits to support people and providing guidance. Doesn't mean there don't respect their wives, other women or listen to their views.
If JC can defer to God then wives can defer to the husband and so on.
Doesn't mean the husband/wife don't consider where to holiday etc.
It is not about inferiority but two way respect for each others views before arriving at a decision along with prayer.

The brothers are unpaid. Contributions are voluntary and a collection is never taken at any meeting.

I am sorry if your experiences were not as you wished but I have not experienced the same as you.

It is a religion that pays tax and is accepted as such. I agree it is not for everyone but the whole point is to research and study before you make a commitment and choose who you mix with.

If it is not for you then you are free to leave and not be shunned or other.

I watch science fiction films whilst another may feel this is not appropriate.

Some people say they are JW and they are not. The Williams girls may be studying but they are not JW nor do they follow the requirements. Will they decide to or not to become a JW? I have no idea

Are you a Witness @Cabbageking?

www.dutchnews.nl/news/2018/05/primary-school-scraps-musical-gay-story-line-to-include-jehovahs-witness-girl/

A whole school play had to be changed because of the intolerance of a couple of JWs.

‘I know how Jehovah’s Witnesses feel about this. You can be gay but not practice being gay. The chances were that she wouldn’t be able to participate [in the musical] and I think every single child should participate in what is the final event at their school,’ De Vlugt told the paper. He did not consult the girl’s parents before making his decision.