I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

@Willowkoko

Yes, I like being involved with twin pregnancies and labours, although for many reasons, most twins are delivered by caesarean section.

That shouldn't mean that your midwife never looks pleased to see you, though. You're going to keep her very busy after you get home with your babies, even if she isn't there when you deliver.

The trouble is that the recovery after a caesarean isn't a walk in the park, either.

Surely that's very individual like labour pain though? I've had 2 emergency sections and didn't need any pain killers postnatally after either. My back labour pains almost killed me in comparison, I've never known pain like it.

Which leads me to my question.

Why with a baby who was in a good position and not back to back, would I feel all my labour pains in my back? Is it just bad luck or could my pelvis be problematic?

We are thinking about a third and my 1st got stuck at full dilation, couldn't pushed or pulled out with forceps. I went into labour with my 2nd ahead of an elective and just panicked because the pain was all in my back again and she had a giant head like her brother. I was told that they wouldn't book a section for me before 39+1 even though I've always gone into labour before that which seems a bit like torture if my babies are never going to fit.

During my first delivery, I had maconijm in my waters. My waters broke and my labour started naturally.. but my midwife insisted that she needed to induce me because my labour wasn’t fast enough. It was 4 contractions per 10 minutes within 4 hours but she said she needed baby out.

She induced me , on the drip and she kept increasing the dose every fifteen mins. It got very painful and I felt like I was pushing but she kept brushing it off and telling me that “if you didn’t have Mconium these contractions won’t even be something that gets you out of your house at this stage “.

I kept telling her I was pushing and she kept insisting it was too early..

She told me I have approximately 10 hours left of labour and insisted I get epidural. She seemed to really struggle to measure my cervix and she said she hadn’t been working in the hospital for long ( I think she ssid 3 months). She said I should just get the epidural and asked me to be quiet as I was making horse noises as the pain was unbearable. She kept putting the induction up.

Turns out baby came out in half an hour. She wasn’t believing me until DH examined me himself and saw the baby head and yelled at her that the head was actually visible..

She then was shocked and stopped insisting I sit on my back and measure my cervix while I’m pushing..

The drip was still on while I pushed the baby almost out and I ended up ripping badly. And my pelvic floor is a bit damaged.

I didn’t want to ask for another midwife as I was vulnerable. She appologised in the end and I’m sure there is an element of these errors of judgement in every delivery and she is just human.

However after I recovered I was just thinking that since my baby was very low birth weight (they knew before I delivered that there was growth issues), and since I had mconium, shouldn’t I have been provided with a more experienced midwife ?

Should I complain to the hospital without complaining about the actual midwife but more so that then mansgemrnt should’ve provided someone else ? Or am I silly ?

I didn’t like being told to be quiet while I was in pain. And was very upset my baby was born very blue as he seemed distressed and I believed it’s to do with the speed of the induction..

He came shooting out. Since head became visible it was 5 mins for him to be out. I felt that was traumatic for the baby.

Jemima232 GD with insulin for fasting. I'm happy to be induced early as I'm worried about the placenta deteriorating.

@BabyLove

Any form of ante-natal preparation is a good thing, so that you know what to expect and are ready for all scenarios.

This is my personal opinion here - I believe that hypnobirthing/NCT/ActiveBirth etc empowers women and helps them to experience labour in the most positive way.

If you want to try it, definitely book it early in your pregnancy, as it is very over-subscribed.

@Dinosaratemydaffodils

No, you're right, of course. A great many women don't need much, if anything, in the way of painkillers after a caesarean.

How awful your first two sound - without knowing a bit more it's hard to answer, but maybe the head didn't descend due to disproportion?

I am also surprised as to why you're not being offered a caesarean before their cut-off. Could you ask for a different consultant? It sounds like you're worrying about this and surely someone should be listening.

What's your opinion on inductions?

I think around two thirds result in an instrumental or c-section?

Given how traumatic an induction is, why do they still do them?

Can I ask your opinion on this as I've always wondered about it:
I had a homebirth with my third baby and about 7 hours afterwards I was sitting down when I felt my bleeding start to gush in waves. I went to dash for the bathroom and after a few paces I was literally standing in what looked like an upturned bucket of blood and clots. When I got to the bathroom and pulled my trousers down about 3 or 4 huge clots that looked the size of livers fell out. I sat on the toilet gushing so badly I couldn't get off for some time. When I eventually did I was still gushing and soaked through a pad, knickers and trousers within about a minute. I called labour ward who said it was either they send a midwife out or I call an ambulance. I opted for the midwife as I wasn't sure and she luckily came out within about 15 minutes. When she arrived I was still sitting on the toilet gushing and without examining me she gave me an injection which luckily slowed it down enough for me to get off the toilet. I was still soaking through pads though but she didn't want to see or see the clots (even though I'd always read they'd want to see anything bigger than a 50p.)
She put me down as having moderate bleeding. Do you think this was right and was this normal or a kind of PPH?
I was also made to have clexane injections based on my bmi at full term, even though my booking in bmi had been normal. I wasn't sure if this was right either.
Many thanks

I think you’re amazing for doing the job you do, so thank you 😊

My question is related to my induction. My waters broke at 37 + 4 and 24 hours later still no contractions so in I went to be monitored and induced. Propess was inserted at around 1am and by 1:40 my baby was born. Pushing stage was a mere 6 minutes. I think the baby would have come anyway without the induction and I was pretty traumatised with the pain and how fast it all happened. I felt like I had one 35 minute long contraction - how often does this happen so quickly? Should I have refused the induction? Are some people just more sensitive to it?

(Sorry my one question turned into a few!)

I noticed you ignored the very good point from spurioser about the awful Dr's v midwives attitude of your first post.
Frankly my midwife for DS1 was cold, cruel and negligent.
The obstetricians were lovely.

and you will enjoy it far more than you did the first labour

I have 5 adult children and Im in my early 60's and when I read the above my heart plummeted because Ive never enjoyed labour. I went along with it because I knew I had to do it but I'm wondering about my lack of enjoyment in it. I bonded with all of my babies but there was nothing enjoyable about labour even though they were all varied and resulted in babies from 8 to 11 pounds. I have to say though that I am proud of delivering my last one of 11 pounds with no stitches or anything but thats about it.

Do other people feel this way and is it normal?

In your experience what are the chances of having a successful full term pregnancy after a spontaneous pre-term birth?

My first baby was born at 25 weeks and despite us both being very healthy and no reason found for being born early she sadly passed away at 3 weeks old. We would like to try again but are worried about the same thing happening again.

I'm also concerned that I didn't feel my first contraction until I was in transition and gave birth only a few hours later. As second labours are generally faster I'm worried about potentially delivering a prem baby at home by accident. What's the best strategy for preventing that (we don't drive but live 5-10 minutes away from the hospital by taxi, but obviously there can be a wait depending on how busy the firm are)?

@jemima232 may I ask about your experience of obese pregnancies please?

I was left at a hospital and found by staff shortly after birth - my poor birth mum had no prenatal care and birth was unsupervised - do you think midwives would have taken care of me or would I have gone straight to the care of other nurses and doctors?

It's silly as doesn't really matter but I always want to picture what happened in my first few days on this planet!

@NaughtyLittlePassport

Of course there are bad midwives and I've come across many such in my career, including quite a few who looked after me personally.

I wasn't ignoring spurioser and her comment. I haven't got round to answering it yet, but there IS conflict between doctors and midwives and I mentioned it in answer to the first poster, who is going to start training as a midwife soon, and who wanted to know the good and the bad about being a midwife.

One of the negative things that I have experienced (and I am not speaking for all midwives, just for myself) is this conflict, so I felt that I had to mention it.

Bit of a random question but how long does it take from your first appointment with a midwife to get registered with your local hospital? I'm from the West Midlands but I live in Dubai and I'm moving back in around a week. I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and I'll have my first midwife appointment in about 2 weeks. I'm cutting everything quite close. I've got all my medical records documenting my pregnancy to assist with midwife and doctor.

@Jemima232
my first labour started at around 7pm and she was born a few hours by 1230am - normal v delivery at 39+4.
I took a small amount (teaspoon) of pure castor oil on the morning my labour started (confused this for clary sage oil ) & I'm now wondering whether it was this that caused a quick labour & whether ill be in for a much worse time with next baby if I avoid it (which is rather do as mw scared me to death with horror tales of castor use when I confessed to it at a later point)
What are your thoughts?!

Hi @Jemima232 I've had two children at the same hospital and I struggle with the internal examinations I'm now pregnant again and I'm scared of being forced to have them again.
My first they left me in labour and refused to help me because I wouldn't let them examine me due to past sexual abuse and the pain I felt when they attempted one, I ended up crowning on the bed and delivering really quickly.
My second went the same they didn't believe I was in labour again and left me to it. I'm scared they'll do it again.

Hello there.

So I was wondering. I'm currently 20w4d pregnant with twins and I've yet to really bond with them. Is that normal? I can't imagine them being born and immediately just loving them. I mean it's nice when I feel them move around (sometimes at least) and when we see them at scans but I just don't feel that attached. I also feel like the whole pregnancy is just so surreal. I mean how will real babies come from this. I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head (and heart) around it all.

Thanks in advance

I'm currently 2cm dilated and 1-2 long as detailed in my notes written by consultant. 1-2 long is in relation to effacement I believe?! What does this MEAN?

Mama Dane is was like u and all the love came with/after birth

Hello, looking for a bit of guidance, as not currently pregnant so not sure who I would ask!

I had my son 3 years ago and had a straight forward pregnancy.

Went one week overdue then had PRoM. Few contractions but not much happening, so was induced 24 hours later. Another 24 hours (-ish, things get hazy at this point), had had epidural and I was failing to progress, so CS recommended. Epidural was failing so had spinal beforehand.

CS was fine, except serious shakes coming off the spinal. This was about 2am, then about 11am had PPH, got rushed to theatre to sort it out, then blood transfusion once back on the ward.

I had a debrief with the consultant a few weeks post birth, but I don't think I'd fully processed at that stage, and didn't ask the right questions.

It's the latter, PPH bit that really bothers me, and whether that would happen again. Thinking about having a second, and would definitely elect for CS this time (had easy recovery from my first).

Anything that can be done to minimise repeat of the bleed now that I'm aware it's likely? Can they do anything at the delivery stage, or is it just a case of monitoring?

Thank you and sorry this is an essay!

I did also look after a lady who had three teenagers and had been sterilised after the third one's birth.

She became pregnant.

With triplets

Wow op- thank your reply! Sorry for your losses but omg! This woman!!

Makes me think about it ( sterilisation) really carefully! The whole point of it is to ditch the condoms but with two cases known bully just yourself it makes me want to carry on!!

I wasn't ignoring spurioser and her comment. I haven't got round to answering it yet, but there IS conflict between doctors and midwives and I mentioned it in answer to the first poster, who is going to start training as a midwife soon, and who wanted to know the good and the bad about being a midwife.

Sorry, my response earlier was a bit snappy. I think your post touched a nerve!

While I’ve seen clashes between individuals, I can’t say that that general sense of conflict is something I’ve really experienced. Obviously we have different training, which leads to different perspectives, but doctors and midwives are working towards the same end goal: healthy mums and healthy babies.

Thanks for starting this. It's been really great to read, I've had 3 babies now and wanting to finally get started on a career and was thinking of going into midwifery. I have a health and social care degree with psychology but I've been out of formal education for 7 years now so I know I'll be starting pretty much from scratch. What is the route into midwifery? Is it all about delivering babies or can you do more of an antenatal/postnatal side of midwifery? Sorry if I sound completely dumb asking this.