I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

@crazyforpiggies

Miscarriage.

You must be very worried this time round. Miscarriage is devastating at any stage of pregnancy.

Because you've already had two, you will be offered a scan when you see your midwife.

In a lot of areas you can also go to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit. In some, you can refer yourself.

I hope you get good news.

Hi

So at my 20 weeks scan I was told my baby had bright kidneys, so I've been sent for extra scans and tests etc, I had a harmon blood test which checked for Pateus, Edwards and Down's syndrome, all came back clear that baby didn't have any of those things, went back for regular scans and all ok but just been for my 32 week scan and kidneys are still bright but now there saying baby's long bones are slowing down in growing and are 2 almost 3 weeks behind head and tummy, she couldn't see the face very clear but she said suspected recess chin but the way baby was laying couldn't get a good enough view to say for sure, now consultant wants me to have amniocentesis in a couple days and says there's no risk of Miscarriage now and just premature
Labour, I'm going to have this done because they said it will help them no what to treat for when he gets here, she did say there's still he could be perfectly healthy so
I really don't no what to think, has anyone else had any experiences like this? Thankyou

@nanamilly

Enjoying labour?

I think I meant that the labour after a long, induced first one is likely to be shorter, not more enjoyable.

You make a very good point, actually. I believe that most women do not "enjoy" labour (and why should they?) and I'm sorry your heart plummeted when you read that.

You have five adult children and you gave birth to them all, even managing a very big last baby without stitches.

No, you don't have to worry about not having enjoyed labour. My use of the word was in response to a PP who had had her first baby induced, and it took three days. She is not (hopefully) going to be induced with her second, so the chances are that this second labour will be significantly shorter, so from that perspective, more "enjoyable" than the first.

I didn't enjoy either of my labours, either, I assure you.

In your experience how much more painful is back to back labour?

I struggled at only 1cm (took 12 hours to get to that point) and I only got to 3/4cm before I lost control and begged for an epidural. It didn’t progress at all but was so painful.

I would have liked birth pool/ gas and air but I just can’t see that ever being realistic for me.

What are your thoughts on home births? I refused induction to have a home birth as I felt it was too early (40+12). I also have white coat syndrome and knew I would panic and end up with a c-section if I went to hospital. I felt like my midwives were rolling their eyes at me!

@PleaseNotThisAgain

Pre-Term Labour

Oh, I'm so sorry your first baby died. You must be so worried about this happening again.

Some women do seem always to deliver early. There is no way of predicting if this will happen to you. I can say that I recently knew a lady who had her first baby at 28 weeks (and the baby sadly died) and she went on to have her second at 37 weeks.

In your circumstances it would be acceptable to call an ambulance to get you safely to hospital as soon as you feel that you're in labour. I wouldn't normally suggest an ambulance but if there's a chance that you'll give birth quickly to a tiny, pre-term infant, the best place is in an ambulance rather than a mini-cab. (Obviously the best place is in the hospital but you have a chance of not getting there in time.)

Wishing you well with your next baby.

Hi, I had an abruption at 42+ weeks, had an emergency c section & told 10 minutes to get the baby out. At my follow up consultation I asked if the reason for the abruption was being so overdue & surely the placenta had done its job & I should have been induced before it got to this stage? 1st baby was also 2+weeks late. I was told no, it was just one of those things, surely I was correct in some way? (3rd baby had retained placenta)

Do you have indemnity insurance to the tune of several million pounds?

Hi, for my first birth I had a "birth in a box" at home. I was 5 hours from start to finish and did the 3bottles of gas and air that were at my house. Once I'd had him I was examined and told I'd need stitches but that I'll have to go to hospital for them. I turned on the waterworks and said after all this I'm in bed with my baby please don't take me to hospital so reluctantly I was stitched up. Why didn't she want to do this? She did and very well.

@DualMum

Registering at the hospital

The midwife you see will be attached to a hospital so you'll automatically be registered with them.

@DancingFairyDreams

Obesity and Pregnancy

There are myriad reasons why obesity complicates pregnancy. The most obvious are gestational diabetes and increased risk of pre-eclampsia.

It is also much more difficult to feel the way the baby's lying and how engaged the head is.

If you have a caesarean the risk of blood clots is higher.

That's just a few for starters. If you have a high BMI it is always a good idea to try to lose weight while you're pregnant, with your midwife's guidance. I mean, don't go on a crash diet but eat healthily and exercise more.

@Wishfull888

Caster Oil

Aagh. Don't. Take. It.

But you only took a teaspoonful, so that would not have contributed to your rapid labour with your first baby. In the days when it was recommended (by doctors and midwives) the dose was enormous (two tablespoonfuls at least YUK.)

Your second labour is very likely to be quicker anyway, with or without caster oil.

@anitagreen

Dislike of internals/prior sexual abuse/being ignored in labour.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through two labours without either your feelings being validated or getting appropriate care.

That just isn't acceptable. Could you discuss all this with your midwife this time round? Or ask to see the midwife in charge of the labour ward and tell her what happened to you in your last two labours?

It does sound like you had a rough time of it and your care might not have been as sensitive as it could have been.

Hi! First baby came at 37 weeks - 6 hours after waters breaking and 3 hours after any sort of pains....ended up with a retained placenta with a manual removal. Question is...how likely is it that this baby (currently 23 weeks) would come earlier and quicker than first and does having a history of retained placenta mean it could happen again?
Nothing explained last time so not sure why it happens?!

In your opinion, why is it that so many women aren’t believed / listened to in regards to
How much pain they’re in
How far along in labour they are
How they are coping

(Possibly clouded by my own experience. I I was not believed or listened to. The hospital was so busy and short staffed that I later learned they closed the labour ward after I was admitted. The cynic in me thinks maybe they told me I was not in active labour yet as they had nowhere to put me?! As it was when they finally believed me and it became apparent that baby was coming NOW, I was wheeled into a delivery suite that was still being mopped up after the previous birth... do midwives ever embellish the truth of a woman’s progress because of practicalities / understaffing like this?! Not blaming the individual midwives here, You do a wonderful job in very very difficult circumstances)

@thenameisweasley

Effacement of the cervix

Your cervix not only dilates during labour, it also effaces. This is when it becomes shorter, softer and thinner.

When women have had lots of babies the cervix usually dilates and effaces simultaneously.

When you're having your first baby, all those latent phase contractions you have are working on effacing your cervix. So when you get to labour ward and discover (after two days of contractions) that you're "only" 2cm dilated, you feel miserable. But actually, if your cervix is fully effaced and 2cm dilated, that's good. If your baby's head is also getting lower in your pelvis, that's another good sign.

There are more things in play in early labour than the number of cm. you've dilated, so though you feel that nothing much is happening, your midwife will think differently.

When you go for a sweep, if the cervix is long, hard and closed, the sweep is impossible, and that's called an unfavourable cervix.

When women have had a lot of babies, the cervix can be 8cm dilated and not fully effaced.

@Jemima232 thank you! That makes sense! I had a section last time so this is all new to me. Pretty sure I'm in labour right now!

@Jemima232

NC for this question as it's v personal so sorry to others! . Not expecting you to have come across this, but...
Have you ever had mothers who have a perianal fistula with a seton stitch still in place have a VB or would they always have a C Section?
I am currently in this situation and my first baby is due in September. Really want to have a VB but scared tearing might be more likely due to the circumstances.

I ended up with a section after 2 days of labour and my DS being back to back. Got to 9cm then didn't manage the last 1cm.

Thought all was well and no complications during surgery mentioned. But a couple months later, the discharge letter I got through the post said 1.3lt blood loss with something to do about my right angle (?!?) Any ideas? How much would I have had to lose before a transfusion and is it common not to have been told? Thanks :-)

Would you mind answering my question about indemnity insurance when you are working as an Iindependant midwife? It's a quick yes or no answer.

But an incredibly important one to anyone thinking of employing an independent midwife.

@birdonawire1 OP is probably working her way through the questions in the order they were asked. I’m sure she will answer when she gets to you. Everyone’s question is important to them

I was told I needed an induction for my daughter because I had GD and she was predicted to be very large (although she actually wasn’t in the end). I ended up pushing for an ELCS because I have a history of trauma and didn’t think I could cope with all the increased monitoring that came with an induction. I loved my c section and didn’t find the recovery too bad.

Next time do you think I should try for a vbac? I’m so scared of ending up with an instrumental delivery, I think it could be really triggering. Do you think I’d be allowed to ask for a vbac if I can go into labour naturally but a c section if they ask to induce me early?

@Jemima232 I will do that thank you for listening to me and making me feel like I'm not stupid because that's how they made me feel for years. Thank you x

Thank you for this thread.

When my DD was born, her meconium was quite pale and not black. We don't think that she passed it in utero, although my waters went gradually and completely went in pushing stage so I suppose it's possible. The midwives said it was fine and she obviously skipped a step, but have you ever seen this before? It was very sticky. She has some other problems so I worry it might indicate something.

Also, she was born with congenital birth defects. I was so careful in pregnancy but in the lead up to conception I did use fake tan a lot (weekly). It was the rub in kind, no sprays, and I didn't use any at all in the first trimester when she was undergoing organogenesis etc.

Everything I have read has said that DHA isn't thought to be absorbed beyond the skin, but I worry it damaged my eggs. Am I being a tin hat nutter? I love using it but concerned now that we are thinking of TTC our second. The guilt eats me up.