I'm an amputee..ask me anything!

[HappinessIsKey]

Thought I would start a thread, as a young (ish) woman, who has had a below knee amputation..

Since having my leg removed friends and family have always had a lot of questions about what's it's like etc..

I constantly get stared at and sometimes even followed, when I go out. So I thought I would start a thread to answer questions people have about it..

You ask me whatever you like, I will answer them!

Don't worry I'm a rough cookie, so can handle any questions 😊

Have you ever wanted to meet the drunk driver and if so what would you say to her?

@SweetestSugar aww thank you..but no..no one would buy it 😂

@Littlechocola once I found out that she was drunk, I was very upset to say the least!

I reached lows that I never thought were possible. I was told by numerous people, she was completely apathetic to it all. She showed absolutely no remorse.

I didn't understand how somebody, could just move on and hold no guilt for what they had done to somebody. It did start to eat me up. Days sometimes weeks, would go by and it was all I could think of.

My grandfather told me it had to stop. I had given her too much already. Nasty people don't deserve any space in anybody's head. So I had to. I made it perfectly clear, to everybody if they ever heard anything, I simply just didn't want to know.
Especially now I have children. My children go through enough, dealing with this with me. So I didn't want to let anything that I could control effect me, which ultimately would effect my children.

@HappinessIsKey you are amazing. Thank you for answering

And I just want to say, thank you very much! I thought people would find this thread extremely boring! But I am just fed up of being stared at when I'm out etc..I thought people must have questions, they are just too scared to come and ask me. So thank you for asking questions, it means a lot! Hopefully it helps give everybody a better insight into what it's like.

And also I did not expect at all any kind words!
I'm overwhelmed, that complete strangers would take time to say such nice things to me. Honestly thank you xx

And keep them coming! Anything that you want..hopefully the next time you see an amputee you will already know the ins and outs 😊

What a fascinating thread, so sad to read what you have had to go through, but so bloody inspiring.
Have read your posts with a mixture of tears in my eyes alternating with 'you go girl'' and equally naff sayings that don't adequately do justice to you.

It’s a great thread. I rarely get any insight into other people’s experiences of being an amputee and I have found it very helpful.

@howwudufeel can I ask how your partner became an amputee?

It wasn’t due to an accident. It was disability related. Infection after infection that he just couldn’t shift.

@howwudufeel how old is he? Do you struggle?
I truly really feel for you. The strength you have, to live daily with an amputee is extremely beyond courageous..Like I said up thread, not that it's anybody's fault that hasn't been in this position, people have absolutely no idea, what life is like day to day.
People presume you get your prosthetic and that's it you are just 'normal' again.

All the messages I have received of admiration and love, have made me cry. But really the people who deserve the love and admiration are the loved ones.
We don't have a choice, but our partners do. You could of chose to walk away.

Every single day there are struggles, pain, sometimes upset, and frustration. You are the one that have to deal with it all..all my admiration goes to you. People like you and my partner deserve the world.

If you ever want to pm me, feel free xx

I will PM you x

My son is a double below knee amputee. He had his amputation just after he turned one. Had prosthetics fitted when he was 18 months. He's had a rough time over the years with sores and even an infected stump which kept him off his legs and really affected his mental health and school exams. He's nearly 21 now and still finds it hard to stand for long periods of time. I do worry about his future

Yes risk of infections are a constant battle. I have to take my leg off every couple of hours, and check my little leg over. I have an open wound at the moment. It's soul destroying as soon as a wound starts to appear, because you know then you shouldn't wear your prosthetic for what can be weeks, and it's constantly playing on your mind 'is it going to get infected?' 'Will they have to amputate it higher up?' It's horrible.

I'm not surprised about his struggles with mental health, especially his teenage years must of been very difficult for him and you.

Why do you worry about his future?

Open wounds are a nightmare. It’s the punch to the stomach moment when you see the skin has broken down. Out local chemist know my son by name because he’s always going in there for dressing and inadine. I hope you make a speedy recovery.

This is a really interesting thread, thank you. You sound very brave.

My question is: What happened to your leg after it was amputated?

I have read this thread with a stupid opened mouth expression - my god OP - you are such a brave girl! I have been reading out snippets to my DH, sometimes emotionally and sometimes indignantly and I feel words do not convey how great you are. We all have crap times in life, but you had a skip load dumped on you and yet you are positive, kind and selfless. I am sending masses of sunshine and happiness your way - if there is such a thing. I hope technology keeps improving and things get easier for you and the 'little one' (leg!) Respect!

This is an amazing thread to read OP thank you for sharing. I think you sound absolutely inspirational, especially your ability to let go of your anger for the woman who changed your life so much. Has she ever tried to reach out to you?
Was your amputation above or below the knee, and does that sort of thing make a difference with how well prosthetics fit and how comfortable they are?
I saw once on greys anatomy (sorry 😂) that an amputee used a mirror to reduce phantom limb pain to trick the brain into "seeing" the leg and reduce the pain, and on a different occasion (also greys 😂) she stabbed herself in the prosthetic to make the brain "realise" there was no limb there - are these real things that can actually help or just greys anatomy bullshiting me

Hi @HappinessIsKey For what it's worth, I think many many people would buy your book! Thank you for sharing.

Hi OP - wanted to say that you sound amazing and that this thread has been really educational for me.

You've mentioned that your prosthetic leg is quite expensive and that the foot doesn't move. I have a friend of a friend who had his leg amputated above the knee in a similar situation to yours. He has a 'blade' type leg to run marathons etc (which he used to do before too). He says it's more comfortable than the regular prosthetic, and barring any wounds etc, it's his preference. If you don't mind me asking, how do you 'choose' a leg? Could you also wear a blade type or is that better suited for certain amputees?

@beela my leg got incinerated the same day as the amputation. Even though you know it's gone and not part of you anymore, I still didn't like the thought of my leg being left somewhere by itself. Which must sound very odd! But it was part of me for 22 years. It makes me very emotional even now writing this about the actual day.

When I woke up after the surgery I was absolutely fine. I looked down and it didn't upset me at all! My best friend's first words to me were the most crap one legged jokes in the world! We were laughing and chattering away. It was like nothing had happened.

Even though I could see my leg wasn't there anymore after the surgery, still part of me for hours hoped it was all a huge mistake and they were going to wheel me back down and put it back on! Even though that would be absolutely impossible!

It was only when my surgeon came back a few hours later, and told me that my leg had been incinerated, that it hit me. I just broke down and cried to him. I remember not being able to breath, and like my chest was being crushed. I cried for hours. That was when the grieving process started.

It was a major deal to me, knowing exactly how the whole process happened. My surgeon was always very honest and blunt. I even seen the saw that would be used! It helped me to move on much much faster, otherwise I would of still be wondering and speculating, how things went on to this day! I knew absolutely everything.

Plus I'm extremely nosey! 😂

I'm an amputee too, did a similar AMA a few months ago. Yours is much more interesting than mine though. Have started any 'disability' sports since having your leg off? (Recruiting!)

@lablewhore My aim is just to answer any questions at all that people have, I understand people must be curious when seeing amputees, but scared to ask. So I just thought I would give everybody an opportunity anonymously to ask whatever they like..I didn't expect any kind messages at all!

For complete strangers to take time out of their life, to write kind words to somebody they have never met, is so overwhelming and heartwarming.

Honestly thank you so so much..and yes there is such a thing, because all these messages have made me very proud and even more happy with being just me xx

@Tropicana1 I heard nothing until she found out I was claiming compensation. I then received death threats, was told I should of died, I was like a slug..the list goes on and on! It was daily abuse. It was all to try and intimidate me into not claiming against her.

The police were amazing throughout it all, they told me she never showed any remorse at all, and some people are just vile creatures.
I still don't understand how people can be like that.

Yes I have tried mirror therapy and it didn't work for me..
and as for cutting the prosthetic leg thing..well just before Christmas when I was doing all my Christmas present wrapping for the children, I was like a woman possessed flying through it all..and then in the midst of the madness, I bloody cut with the scissors straight through my £7000 false skin that goes over the actual prosthetic. It would of been worth it to stop the pain, but no cost me a whole new £7000 skin and I'm still in pain 😂

My 4year-old twins are always full of questions. We saw a man with a prosthetic leg in the co-op, should I have let them ask questions? #verybritishproblems

Yikes re the prosthetic skin! You said you've been able to go private - do you get a limit on how many times/parts you can get new, Eg per year? Ooh, do you declare the prosthetic /skin as a valuable on your insurance?

My actual question is really idiotic, and doesn't even relate to you. Do you know, if someone has to have both legs amputated, do they stick with the leg length /height that they had pre-op, or can they chose their post-op height? I've always wondered that.

@Nevth it depends on what you want to do really.

Your friend must have good movement and the ability to be active. So a blade is the best type of leg for that. Because of the bounce, lightness of the leg etc..
I went for more the cosmetic side of things.
So my leg looks quite similar to my real leg, but there are negatives to this like the lack of movement.
I couldn't have a blade anyway, because my severed nerves. So I wouldn't be able to control it as well as mine now.

You can't have both though. If you imagine a blade prosthetic, you couldn't put a false skin over the top of it, it would be extremely saggy one minute and then really tight the next, if that makes sense!

You need a different prosthetic for swimming as well. These are roughly about £8000 for a basic swimming leg. You can't just get any other prosthetic wet, the compartments inside will rust.

In an ideal world you would be able to afford loads of different legs! But they are just so expensive! Mine is on the cheaper end really, but I need a new one roughly every 18 months