I'm an amputee..ask me anything!

[HappinessIsKey]

Thought I would start a thread, as a young (ish) woman, who has had a below knee amputation..

Since having my leg removed friends and family have always had a lot of questions about what's it's like etc..

I constantly get stared at and sometimes even followed, when I go out. So I thought I would start a thread to answer questions people have about it..

You ask me whatever you like, I will answer them!

Don't worry I'm a rough cookie, so can handle any questions 😊

@Frangipane I really struggled with shoes with my first leg. It was quite wide.

My new one isn't that bad, but it does take quite awhile to get a shoe or trainer on as the foot doesn't move.

Oo so many questions! So if you leave the prosthetic off at home because it takes so long to get it into skinny jeans, does that mean you wear the jeans with one leg of the trousers flapping empty, or do you pin it up or do you have special jeans for these occasions with one leg adjusted to fit your little leg?

And yep I buy a pair..
When I didn't have a leg, I still had to buy a pair and just throw the left one away..
It upsets me sometimes, that women when going out or to special occasions wear high heels. And that I will never be able to wear them again. I kept some of my favourite high heels from before the accident, in my box of memories from my old life.
Still can't look in it though, as it upsets me.
Might seem small to women that can, but when choices are taken away from you, it can be difficult.

Have you tried mirror therapy for your phantom limb pain? Meant to be quite effective.

How does your partner find it?

Fascinating thread OP; I have experience of working with military amputees but also a friend of mine was involved in a nasty accident a few years ago and amputation is now on the cards due to the risk of re-injury and it not healing, the function is quite poor and the doctors predict it will improve with below knee amputation.

My question is, have your prostheses been funded by the NHS or by insurance from the accident? Friend has received an interim payment from insurance for adaptations to the house and car etc but it seems to be a super long process.

Also, do you qualify for a blue badge? Friend does now but isn't sure if they will should they go for amputation.

Sorry clarifying, as in coming to terms with the injury?

What happened to the drunk driver who hit you? Were they prosecuted? Is their insurance covering your prosthetic costs? (I used to work in financial services and went to a seminar a few years back about developments in prosthetic limb articulation and research - v. interesting but incredibly expensive, which is why I hope an insurer is covering it!).

@oopslateagain that is exactly what's it like!!!
When you take your bra off, I have that same feeling taking my leg off!

@Frangipane that was the first thing I insisted my surgeon to do! To weigh it so I know exactly how much weight to add on, when I weigh myself. It weighed 6lb 6oz. Which I was shocked at! And shocked that he told me, I was the first person that had ever asked him to weigh their limb!
I also wrote a letter on my leg on the morning, just to say how much I appreciated it for all the years I had it

My biggest achievement to date, was when I first got my new leg. I was able to push my baby in his pram for the very first time. That was an extremely emotional day. I was so very very proud that I could finally push my baby in his pram, instead of somebody else doing it for me. I don't think anything I do in life, will ever bet that feeling!

If I don't have my leg on, I will normally just wear leggings and tie a knot in the bottom at home. Before having my leg I lived in maxi skirts and dresses..I was not cutting expensive jeans up! And I was very self conscious. I would never ever go out with jeans pinned up without my leg on.

I did ask my prosthetic limb specialist, why men with prosthetic legs normally always wear shorts and show it off and women cover it up..he said it's because the public automatically assume they have been war and are heroes. When the majority of the time it's a car accident or something similar!

Fascinating answers. Thanks for being so honest. I'm glad you didn't think my question about the weight of your leg was weird. It is the kind of thing I speculate on. I am surprised it weighed so little really. And it is so heart warming to think your best achievement was being able to push your baby in the pram. Good luck to you, and I'll continue reading this thread with interest.

@Genvonklinkerhoffen thank you! I thought people would find it very boring, but I get stared at constantly, so thought there must be a lot of questions people have but are too scared to ask!!

That sounds very similar to me. I had mine amputated because of the loss of feeling and use and got a pressure on my heel, which ended up getting an infection that started to eat my bones.

Even this sounds harsh under the circumstances, if all his nerves work fine, having his leg amputated will mean he should be able to walk normally with a false leg.
I walk with a bad limp because no muscles work in my thigh or bum.

Yes I did get compensation. So I am very fortunate that I can afford to have mine privately. The NHS prosthetics are of a very poor standard.

I feel extremely sorry for babies born without limbs, or people with illnesses that result in losing a limb. As prosthetics are ridiculously expensive.
They don't have the luxury of compensation.
It's very sad that they only have the option of NHS prosthetics 😔

Your right it is extremely long, it took me 5 1/2 years to finalise everything before I got the final lump sum. I really feel for him, it's very very hard when you are going through the legal aspect. It feels like it's never going to end. This is when I was at my lowest, I considered ending my life on numerous occasions. It is crucial he has as much support and reassurance that it will end one day and will all be sorted.

And yes I have a blue badge..couldn't cope without it!

DP is an amputee. He is going through a rough patch at the moment where his leg doesn’t seem to fit very week. He just got fitted with a new one but it still needs some adjustments. There is an assumption that once you have a prosthetic leg your life will be completely normal again. Kudus to you for this thread.

Wow, op, i just want to say you sound amazing.
I can't imagine how i would cope with such a life changing event. I think i would be very, very angry. Do you let anger or other negative emotion rule your life, or have you managed to find some positive to cling to (like the fact you are still alive). Sorry, that sounds really clumsy, please take it in the spirit it's meant which is one of admiration that you sound so together,

This is such a great thread. Thank you Happiness

Sorry this happened to you. A family member of mine had to have a triple amputation a while ago due to an infection and hospital negligence. 12 months on and they are now walking and learning to drive again. You should be very proud of yourself. I can't believe how well people deal with these situation and come through the other side.

@ControversialFerret it was a woman who hit me. She was four times over the legal limit and was driving at approximately 90 mph in a 30. She received a 2 year driving ban, reduced to 18 months for completing a course and a £500 fine.

The police were amazing, and the police officer that phoned me the day of her court case to tell me the outcome, said that they were absolutely disgusted. The accident had cost that night in the police, ambulance and fire crew resources over £150,000.

She could only be charged with drink driving.
If she wasn't drunk she would of be charged with causing serious injury whilst dangerous driving and would of received a prison sentence. But because she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing.

Also if it was a man that was drunk, he would of received a prison sentence. But being a woman with children went in her favour.

That was an extremely difficult time.

Did you get to see or touch your leg after it was removed?

Sorry if this a weird one.

Ds has a visual impairment. Because he was born with it he copes and doesn’t appear blind for the most part which leads to school and others forgetting sometimes. When this happens I get really cross (rightly or wrongly).
Anyway I always say imagine you dealing with a child without a leg, you wouldn’t sometimes ask them to play football in gym just this once or give them a box of things to carry up the stairs.
I realised that actually an amputee hearing that might not appreciate the comparison. I suppose I’m asking if you consider yourself disabled? Obviously no one like being used as the example of the person who “can’t” do whatever.
Do you find adaptions are easily made or are some aspects of every day life needlessly hard?

What the FUCK?? I am appalled by that sentence. I’m so sorry OP.

You are brilliant.

@Reallyevilmuffin my partner and I didn't start dating until after I had my leg amputated (but I didn't have a prosthetic then) he was absolutely fine! After the accident I thought that was it. My dreams had all been snatched away in a heartbeat. I was a beauty therapist before the accident, so how I looked was major to me. No matter what I did, there was nothing I could do to get my leg back and just be normal. I couldn't understand how someone could be interested.
Which now I look back and think..Gosh can't believe I thought like that!

We had been friends all through school, so he knew me a long time before the accident happened. I was extremely self conscious, obviously the sexual side of things for me were very daunting!

He is the amazing one, not me. He cares for me and our children daily. I suffer horrific pain so some days I just can't move. I think it's much more difficult for the loved ones than it is for the actual person. He says watching me do a simple task and struggle, knowing nothing he does can help fix it, is difficult.

As the partner of an amputee i can really relate to your last post and I find it very touching.

@howwudufeel yes that's the biggest misconception! People automatically presume I will be able to walk and dance, wear high heels like heather mills..when it couldn't be any further from the truth. I really feel for you, it's extremely difficult to care for someone in this position. You must get very upset and stressed sometimes 

@DogHairEverywhere at first I was so relieved it happened to me, as I knew the woman had children and couldn't remember any of the accident at all. I wasn't told until I was discharged from hospital that she was drunk. The consultants in charge had told the police not to tell me that information, as it could set my recovery back. I did go through a period of being extremely angry, I felt like she had just got away with it. And my life had changed forever.
I had to learn to try and let it all go. The anger and upset was damaging my new life. And I wasn't going to give her anymore of me.

But sometimes I do still get upset..it's the little things in life. I think of the future. I won't ever be able to do the mums race at my children's sports days, or I can't go swimming with my children and she can do these things with her child.
But I just have to give myself a virtual slap and remind myself, that she doesn't deserve any of my headspace!

@neddle No I didn't. I had hardly anytime to think about it. I found out on the Friday and my surgery was on the Monday. I had to be in hospital for 8am and was wheeled down by 8.15. It was very prompt to give me no time to change my mind!
I just got to write my thank you letter on my leg and the surgeon told me to say goodbye, before I was put to sleep and that was it, I woke up in the recovery ward. I did ask if he had looked after it and put it in the bin delicately. He told me that he tried to throw it in the bin and missed and made one of the nurses pick it up..which made me laugh! That didn't happen btw, he was joking!

Have you thought about writing a book? You have a really engaging and warm style.

@Drogosnextwife wow. That is extremely tragic I can not imagine how that person must feel.
Life can be so dreadfully cruel. I have met the most amazing people along my journey, and it has blown my mind the strength and courage people have!
It really makes you appreciate just life xx

I have no questions but just impressed by your bravery and courage. You are an inspiration to others OP.