I had a cryptic pregnancy AMA

[wellthatwasasurprise]

Please try and be respectful and I'll try my hardest to answer any and all questions.

That's a decent weight!

Did you do any sports or anything pregnant women usually avoid...?

@MollyYouInDangerGirl I really did. I had a few names that I'd kind of gone "oh yeah when I eventually do have children I like that one" but none of them suited DC (they were all ridiculously over the top). It didn't take us too long to come up with a name, maybe a few hours after she was born. The name we eventually went with I love and still do love.

@AfterSchoolWorry luckily I'm not a big drinker or smoker nor do I like soft cheese or sushi. I did drink but not huge binges. The guilt from those few occasions where I did drink was quite hard to live with for a while.

Aww I'm glad.

A family friend had a slightly similar situation but not to the same extent - she found out she was pregnant when she was something like 20 weeks pregnant, so enough time to get her head round it but still a shock as shed been eating and drinking things you're not supposed to when pregnant!

This is really interesting all three of the people I know this happened to were genuinely unknown not concealed. One was told she was constipated, another told she had a bad back and to loose weight (she was over weight but in early labour!) & the third was prem at 32 weeks gave birth on the toilet sadly has FAS.

I know someone who found out at 27 weeks. She had honestly not changed shape at all. She had pcos and endometriosis and was on the pill so pregnancy just wasn't on her radar. I honestly believe her when she said she didn't know. She was a heavy smoker throughout and stopped in the day she found out. She wouldn't have kept smoking if she'd known, or even suspected, I'm sure of that.
She found out when she was in hospital having a scan to do with her existing conditions and a baby appeared on screen.

She says no-one believes her and it upsets her that they all think she is making it up for attention or was just in denial and behaving badly while pregnant.

I don't have any questions, just thanks for posting. It was interesting to hear from someone else. My friend is the only person I know who has had this happen.

Thanks everyone for remaining respectful and thanks to anyone who shared stories of people they knew who had this happen to them. It's always nice to know you're not the only one!

It must have been such a shock, especially the nothing prepared from nursery to all of the stuff that comes with having a baby.
How did work take it with regards to maternity leave and things?

@Still18atheart I was just out of university when I had DC and I had a job lined up for a few months after I finished. I explained my situation to them and they were incredibly understanding. Family helped me with childcare whilst I got on my feet.

Thanks for answering questions.

You sound like a very strong person and a lovely mum.

That’s great
Sorry if it makes you feel like a zoo animal but I’ve always been fascinated in cryptic pregnancies since reading about one in a teen mag years ago. And years later I still remember the article and how this 16 year old literally had no idea she was pregnant as the baby had grown up her back and after a morning of terrible back pain ( presumably contractions) first she knew she was pregnant was when she went to the loo and gave birth. Every so often you read something which leaves a lasting effect and that was one of those

Did you not ever feel the baby kicking? (not doubting you of course, it's just that mine used to kick and kick and move around so much so it's hard to imagine not feeling anything!)

@Roussette not at all, looking back on it in the later stages of pregnancy the terrible stomach pain was probably baby moving round and kicking.

@Still18atheart not at all, I opened myself up to questions. This is good practice for when it inevitably happens IRL.

Wow. This is fascinating how the human body can squish a baby in where you don’t feel it. Congratulations !

I wonder if people who have a first cryptic pregnancy go on to have another one or just a normal
Bump?

I used to be really sceptical of people who said they didn't know they were pregnant (sorry OP ) until I became friends with a very experienced midwife who thought she was menopausal, then found out she was about 6 months gone! She was very embarrassed, but I figured if it can happen to an expert, it can happen to anyone!

Did they ever tell you from the scan the position of your placenta was it at the front and cushioning kicks etc? My third pregnancy my placenta was anterior and it took me much later in my pregnancy to feel movement which I imagine had it not been my third pregnancy I could of ignored as wind. Then further on his movements were still cushioned and not as exaggerated as my girls.

@cranberrymoon I have actually wondered this myself. I am hoping I get a proper bump next time and get to feel some proper kicks

@ShesABelter they didn't no. The person who was doing the scan was quite shocked I was 35 weeks. There was a big rush to get me some form of prenatal care even if it was brief. I was supposed to go back the following week for another scan but I'd had the baby by that point. That's interesting though and would explain why I thought I just had super bad IBS.

Fascinating! This happened to a friend of mine too - she'd been back and forth to the doctors with various abdomen related complaints. Negative pregnancy tests. One day woke up in pain, went to GP, they identified labour and she was blue lighted to hospital to give birth. Luckily her partner took it well and they are still together, 14 years later. She's an only child though!

Oh, I had an anterior placenta with DD. I felt very little and as I was very overweight I didn't ever get that "see baby moving under my skin" experience.

This happened to ex's cousin. She'd been to her GP - twice - complaining about awful back pain, 48 hours before giving birth on the bathroom floor. Luckily, her mum was home and rushed to help her. This was 30 years ago but the GP had completely dismissed her symptoms - I can't remember what he said but he never suggested getting a scan or going to hospital for further investigation.

She was young but in a committed relationship with a supportive family and there were no reasons for her and hide or 'self-deny' the pregnancy.

The baby was full term and had some delayed development issues but that's not necessarily attributable to the cryptic pregnancy.

My sisters second pregnancy wasn't identified until she was about 6 months. She literally grew a bump over night!!!

You said you were in a ltr when you gave birth, did he stand by you and believe you?

@SleepingStandingUp sadly no. We had been together two years by the time DC was born. There were lots on accusations that I'd got pregnant on purpose and that I'd somehow hidden it from him. He either couldn't or wouldn't accept that I'd had no idea. He then tried to push for me to put the baby put up for adoption as "I wasn't ready for a baby". When I refused he said he wanted nothing to do with either of us and walked out of hospital. He's with someone else now and I've heard bits and bobs from him since but he still hasn't seen DC since she was born.