I had a cryptic pregnancy AMA

[wellthatwasasurprise]

Please try and be respectful and I'll try my hardest to answer any and all questions.

So many questions, I find this fascinating. Have you / will you tell your dc about this?

Are there any medical insights into how this happens?

Is it likely to happen to you again if you were to get pregnant?

What was the birth like? It must have been overwhelming to find out one day and start labour the next.

I am amazed that someone can hide a full term baby inside themselves!

Thank you for answering any questions.

@TheBulb I can agree with that to an extent. I had a lot going on in my life at the time. I had elderly relatives in hospital that I was caring for, whilst studying and finishing my final year of university exams. I wasn't paying attention to my own body because I was preoccupied elsewhere with things that I deemed more important. I also hadn't had any blatantly obvious contraceptive cock ups so pregnancy wasn't really on my radar.

Thanks, WellThat.

What age were you? I know 3 people this has happened to, they literally didn't find out until established labour, they were 16, 20 & 24. I think people think this only happens to young girls who are actually concealing pregnancies.

How old is your DC now? Do you think that the way it all happened affected how well you were able to bond with them?

Actually, sorry if my question is too personal. Feel free to ignore it.

How old is your baby now OP? Did you feel cheated out of the experience of knowing you were pregnant, the anticipation etc?

An old school friend of mine had something similar in that she didn't know she was pregnant until she was seven months gone. Obviously she had a bit more time to prepare than you but it was still a shock to her that this could be going on in her body with her having no idea. And like you she really didn't know. I remember talking with her about her irregular periods in the run-up to her finding out (she had what we later knew was breakthrough bleeding), but she had no bump, felt no movement etc.

@HelloYouTwo
I'm not sure of the medical reasoning or insight behind it. I vaguely remember the midwife explaining it to me but I was in a post birth haze so wasn't really listening. I do remember her saying that it happens more often than you'd think.

Regarding telling DC. If they ask in the next couple of years I'll just tell them they were a wonderful surprise. I definitely won't tell them the full extent of the story till they're at least in they're late teens.

Birth was alright actually. I went into hospital at 3 am and had the baby at 6am. I had gas and air for pain relief. At the end I had some minor tearing that the consultant fixed with some local anaesthetic.

@MattFreisWeatherReport DC is almost two now.

Oh god that's a difficult one. I don't think I struggled too much with a bond. I didn't fret about whether there would be a bond or not as I had no time to. I made sure I did lots of skin to skin. For the first few days I couldn't believe she was mine TBH.

@Reasonstobeearful I did feel a little cheated about not being to enjoy my first pregnancy at first, but I'm over it now.

Thanks for answering. I think you did amazingly well, considering the shock and the lack of support from the father, and how hard being a first-time mum is for a lot of us anyway. I think I would have totally freaked out! I hope she didn't derail your life plans too much.

Thank you for answering and congratulations on your baby!

@GreatestShowUnicorn I was 21 at the time. I get that a lot but concealed pregnancies are vastly different. I had friends at the time who were pregnant so pregnancy was not a shameful subject. I had a great supportive relationship with my parents, I wasn't living with them and was in a long term relationship when it happened.

For the first few days I couldn't believe she was mine TBH.

I think this feeling is common even with a full 9 months' notice! I remember bringing DS1 home from the hospital and just kind of wandering from room to room with him as he slept, not knowing what to do next and thinking maybe we should go back to the hospital to ask someone better qualified! It seemed bizarre and irresponsible of them to have handed a newborn baby over to us.

Your story sounds almost exactly like my cousins! She did however hun I she was pregnant but her GP kept saying she wasn't and tests came back negative. Finally she ended up in hospital, got a scan and was told she was 36 weeks along. She gave birth that weekend (2 days later). Her 2nd pregnancy was easier to tell though and she hated the waiting as it seems like ages after her first one.

My question: did it ever cross your mind that something like this would ever happen to you? I occasionally wonder how I'd have coped if I'd suddenly found out I was that far along in a pregnancy. I have Hyperemesis though so I'd easily be able to tell. I doubt I'll ever be surprised.

@DeadDoorpost not in a million years did I think this would happen to me. I didn't envision myself even considering getting pregnant till I was at least in my late twenties let alone it happening on such short notice.

I never knew it had a name but I guess that makes me a cryptic baby. My mum was in her 30s, happily married and I have elder siblings. I was born 14 days after she found out she was pregnant, 46 years ago.

I wasn't paying attention to my own body because I was preoccupied elsewhere with things that I deemed more important. I also hadn't had any blatantly obvious contraceptive cock ups so pregnancy wasn't really on my radar.

I can understand that totally. It confuses me that some people "don't believe in" cryptic pregnancies.

Have you had a lot of negative or sceptical reaction? How do you deal with it?

Afterwards, did you look back at photos of yourself during the pregnancy before you knew? In retrospect can you notice a difference?

Don't feel cheated about finding out late. Im actually a bit jealous as I found every second of pregnancy a horrible nightmare. I'm had the exact opposite in that I found out when I was 3.5 weeks (so even before missed period). 9 months felt like 9 years. Having a baby handed to me after a week or two of pregnancy sounds like a dream! Obviously would have been hard in its own way though.

@RubberTreePlant oh lord yes. The father and his family were probably the worst, got called every name under the by him and his mother. I had trouble making friends with other mums at baby groups as lot of them would talk about their pregnancy experiences and I always felt ashamed to talk about mine, for fear of judgement. Now I really don't care, people can choose to believe me or not, that's entirely up to them. I prefer to keep it to myself though, as it was quite an emotionally difficult time so explaining everything over and over again gets pretty draining.

@Piewraith I've looked back a few pictures actually and I don't know if my view is skewed because I know now that I was pregnant then but I can notice a slight difference but only when I was about 30 weeks pregnant.

Thanks for sharing, so interesting!

What did the baby weigh at birth?

@AfterSchoolWorry baby was 6 lb

I'm glad it all worked out OP, including shaking off the rude and useless "father".

Did you struggle coming up with a name for the baby? X