I gave birth in Japan ask me anything

[Manjuu]

I’ve enjoyed reading the “I live in Japan” thread and like the OP I live in Japan and DH is Japanese. I’ve lived here for almost 15 years.

I’ve only ever given birth in Japan so I’m interested to see how things are different to back home in the UK. So...hit me with your questions on giving birth, childcare customs, life here in Japan - whatever you like.

This all brings back memories! I had both my DCs in Japan, and DS is nearly 21 now, but it sounds like not much has changed.

I put on more weight than they were happy with and had huge (by Japanese standards) babies - over 4kg/9lbs - so got lectures and frequent tests for gestational diabetes (I didn't have it), and threatened with c-sections if the babies were too big, but they were both born normally.

I am vegetarian, which also got comments from medical staff who thought I couldn't possibly get proper nutrition without meat/fish, but the hospital where I had them both catered quite well for vegetarians post-birth.

@passthecherrycoke

I had both a midwife and an obstetrician. The midwife is there the whole time and the doctor just came in at the end to catch the baby. I think that is the norm.

I have never heard of water births in hospitals here but home births are possible if you hire your own midwife.

I was a bit scared of giving birth with no access to pain relief but I just tried not to think too much about it! I knew my mil, sil and various friends and acquaintances had all managed it so knew that it was possible. Also, my hospital was a specialist ob-gyn clinic so any hint of danger and they’d be able to get a c-section done quickly and easily.

@exexpat

I imagine nothing at all has changed and it won’t in the next 20-odd years either .

My babies were pushing 4kg as well and they threatened an induction if it looked like they were going over 4 but I managed to avoid it.

It’s good you managed to get vegetarian food. It wasn’t even an option where I was!

Super interesting, thank you.

It's really interesting what you have reported about larger babies and I wonder why there is no focus on this in the UK? It makes sense that larger babies will be harder to deliver vaginally and this could potentially be contributing to our higher CS rates, rather than it somehow being the fault of women and/or clinicians.

Very interesting thread. I have always wanted to go to Japan.
I had my dds in my bed and used a sling ,because it seemed natural to me, I hadn’t heard of attachment parenting. When I was small, in Wales, lots of women still carried babies in the traditional wool shawl, so I expected to carry them and didn’t put mine in a pushchair until they were just too heavy for me to lug about. Japanese customs would have suited me, including the ten days in hospital after each c-section, it was hard coming home after two nights.
Japanese babies are particularly beautiful I always think !

@MiniMum97

Japan has managed to keep the CS rate very low (I think I read somewhere it’s about 17%) by being very strict about maternal weight gain and I suspect by offering inductions when babies look like they are getting too big. I don’t know how many scans women get in the UK but in the last couple of months I think I had a scan every two weeks and the baby’s weight and size was estimated. They really keep a close eye on it to make sure it’s safe to attempt a vaginal birth.

@SirVixofVixHall

Please visit Japan - I’ve never known anyone not enjoy it :-)

I don’t think anyone calls it “attachment parenting” here. It’s just what works and what’s convenient and what’s easiest! It’s definitely easier to sleep next to your child than getting up and going into a different room every few hours at night. And carrying a baby in a sling hands free makes shopping and travelling by public transport much easier. I’ve really enjoyed the experience so far

I think we should start saving. Dds are 12 and 14 now so it would be a wonderful experience for them too.

If you do manage to make it over I’d be happy to show you around :-)

What's the attitudes like to vaginal birth and c-section? Is there snobbery like some people show here?

Thanks!

All really interesting!

Most women only get 2 NHS scans in the UK. More if there's concerns.

So interesting Maanju thank you. I had a look at the Japanese hospital food - looks delicious, enough to make me want to have a baby there . The food I had was shockingly bad, I had tea and toast immediately after the baby came (yum but I was starving for more). Breakfast was cornflakes and brown bread in plastic (no toast :( ). And lunch was "chicken tikka". I didn't eat it, I waited to be discharged and had proper food at home.

Interesting that csection rates are at the WHO recommended 15% +/-

I had my baby in an Irish hospital and two things stand out - in contrast to Japan I wasn't weighed at all, not even once. Though I'm average sized so maybe they didn't feel the need.

And similarly to your experience I was told /advised not to make noise when pushing as it was better to use my energy to push. I ignored that advice, I reckoned my body knew best what to do.

@Prequelle

If there is snobbery I’m not aware of it. I know a few people who have had c-sections and nobody presented it in a negative way. The doctor who delivered my second baby said she had two c-sections because her babies were too big for her small frame to birth naturally and she seemed happy with the choice.

I think the real snobbery and competition starts when the kids go to school and start activities like Kumon and calligraphy and English conversation classes and ballet 😅

While I’m online I’ll just add a few more unusual things I noticed.

We got an internal examination at almost every check up. You have to sit in a special flippy chair with your nether regions behind a curtain so you don’t have to make eye-contact with the doctor 😂

Probably about 8 scans during the pregnancy.

Didn’t learn the sex of the baby until past the 20th week. That might just be the policy of my hospital though.

My hospital charged extra for the father to attend the scans!

I cant believe fathers are charged to go to the birth - how much was the charge if you remember?
I've looked at the hospital food - now ill admit it wouldn't be for me i cannot believe the difference in quality and quantity compared to hospital food in the uk.

Hi OP,
Can I ask you something not related to childbirth please?
My teenaged DD is going out to Japan in a few months on an exchange trip.
We know we need to send her with small gifts for the host family, there are younger girls, a teenage boy, both parents and a grandmother to buy for.
Do you have any ideas what they might like please? We've been told that the gifts don't need to be expensive but the wrapping is important.
Suggestions so far have included whiskey for the dad, maybe something like lavender for the grandmother but we're a bit clueless !
Any suggestions gratefully received, thank you.

(answering in case the OP doesn't see this - I have been going back and forth to Japan for 30 years, including more than a decade living there, so have bought an awful lot of token gifts for people...)

If your DD is under 20 she cannot take whisky into Japan - she is under the legal drinking age and so is not allowed to bring in alcohol, as far as I understand the rules. They might let her through if she explains it is a gift but I would not risk it.

Nicely packaged, very British-looking food or tins of tea is always acceptable, and would work as a gift for the parents and the grandmother; likewise posh soaps or similar. For the younger children I would probably get some kind of stationery items, again preferably a nicely packaged set of some kind. Teenage boys are difficult, but you could try something football related, e.g. if you live in a city with a well-known team?

The main point of this kind of gift-giving in Japan is ritual and politeness, so the important thing is to have something to hand over; it is less important to make sure that the gift is very closely matched to the recipient's tastes or interests.

Oh, one more thought - avoid anything chocolate-related if she is going in summer, it will be a sticky mess by the time anyone opens it.

When we were in Japan on holiday with our then 8 month old we ended up chatting with a lot of mums and one was telling us that in the hospital a few days after the birth she was told to go downstairs to he gum and use an exercise bike for so many minutes a day Is that common?

Watching with interest (and horror as an overweight woman TTC 😂)

Thank you Exexpat,
That's really helpful, especially about the whiskey.

When the Japanese student came to us last year she brought gifts for everyone and quite a lot of Japanese food including Green kitkats!
I was thinking about marmalade and marmite? Maybe some shortbread biscuits?
I'll have a look for some nice stationary sets, great suggestions, thank you!

Marmalade or jam is a good idea; maybe a tiny jar of Marmite for them to try, but I don't think it is necessarily to Japanese tastes! Shortbread (in a nice tin or packet) is also a good idea. I have found places like National Trust shops and the seasonal gift/food section of John Lewis to be a good source of suitable gifts.

Nothing to add, except I love this thread❤️