I gave birth in Japan ask me anything

[Manjuu]

I’ve enjoyed reading the “I live in Japan” thread and like the OP I live in Japan and DH is Japanese. I’ve lived here for almost 15 years.

I’ve only ever given birth in Japan so I’m interested to see how things are different to back home in the UK. So...hit me with your questions on giving birth, childcare customs, life here in Japan - whatever you like.

Did you have ante natal classes as the chance to meet other pregnant ladies? How long were you in hospital for after the birth?

Do you pay for maternity care?

What kind of antenatal and post natal care do they offer? Whilst I'm hospital, after the birth, how was the care in regards to breastfeeding etc

What was it like having your increase in weight assessed according to Japanese norms?

I’ve heard that the food in Japanese hospitals is immense. Is that the case?

There are antenatal classes organised by the city office but The times were inconvenient for me so I couldn’t attend. I’m not sure Japanese women would use it as a chance to make friends - more as an opportunity to learn the basics of baby care.

I was in hospital for four nights both times. This is standard in Japan for normal deliveries with no complications. C-sections will involve a ten-day stay so I’m glad I avoided that!

During my stay I had a private room so I just relaxed with my babies and recovered from the birth. For first time mothers the nurses/midwives will teach you how to bathe your baby, how to breastfeed and check you regularly to make sure your body is recovering well.

Prenatal care and birth are not covered under natuonal health insurance but are instead heavily subsidised by the government. When you have been to the doctor to confirm a pregnancy, you go to the city/ward office and receive a book of vouchers that you can redeem at the hospital of your choice. You get 14 subsidised antenatal visits (more if twins, I think). Each time I went to the clinic I handed over my voucher and that made the appointment either free or much cheaper depending on the nature of the checkup. Whenever I had a sonogram or blood test the bill went slightly over the value of the voucher but I don’t think I ever paid more than about the equivalent of £20 on any one visit.

For the birth the government give each family a lump sum of money which should cover the cost of a regular birth at most hospitals. You can either receive the money in cash or get it paid directly to the hospital (I did this). A regular birth at the hospital I chose costs around £3,000 to £4,000 but thatnka to the government money we only had to pay a couple of hindred out of pocket. C-sections or other interventions push the bill up drastically but surgery etc would be then covered by national health insurance (so the patient pays 30% of the bill).

Are there as many single mums over there? Do they have a problem with child support defaulters?

The care was excellent. My hospital was very small and there were only a couple of other babies born while I was there so the nurses and midwife had time to help me whenever I buzzed for them. They encourage breastfeeding and helped me with my firstborn when I couldn’t get her to latch. Breastfeeding rates are much higher in Japan than in the UK and extended breastfeeding is not seen as abnormal so they must be doing something right! I think staying in the hospital for a few days helps iron out any difficulties like that.

Were you able to wear Japanese maternity clothes or did you import from abroad?

I've noticed Japanese people in London our their kids in wraparound nursery even if they don't work. Then I see them around the gym, having coffee.. Is this how it's done in Japan?

The weight thing is probably the most stressful thing for both foreigners and Japanese women alike. You are weighed at every single appointment and your weight is plotted on a chart in your “mother and baby book”. At my first appointment the nurse gave me a target weight to stay under and stressed the importance of not gaining too much weight too quickly. One week I was chastised for putting on more than 500g in a week and told to cut out the snacks. Another week I didn’t gain enough and they gave me a lecture about eating enough calories. They are very strict about weight because they don’t want the baby to get too big. This policy is actually the reason why Japan is the only developed country where the average birth weight is decreasing. Not good.

As long as you are not vegetarian or have any special dietry requirements, the hospital food is amazing! Three excellent meals in a day and snacks and drinks delivered regularly to my bed 😊 Each meal had a main dish, a salad, a soup and another small side dish (like tofu or similar) plus fruit for dessert. There was also one special “congratulations” meal made by a local chef to celebrate the birth. If I can work out how to post photos I will 😂

Not sure if I can phrase this the way I'm thinking it, but - I expect (because of stereotypes of Japanese culture) that making noise/screaming/shouting/expressing pain during childbirth would be seen as inappropriate or worse. Does the Japanese notion of "saving face" extend to pregnancy and birth?

Can pregnant ladies eat sushi?! As in is it on the banned/discouraged food list?

So annoyed we 'couldn't' eat sashimi etc here and almost all conversations ended in how ridiculous it was and what do Japanese ladies eat?

I do realise there is other food in Japan by the way...!

There are not as many single mums here but that’s more to do with it still being a social taboo than people having more successful relationships. Women are more likely to put up with unsatisfactory relationships and there are definitely plenty of shotgun weddings.

I am not familiar with the details regarding child maintenance but it is more common here in the event of a divorce for parents to just go their separate ways completely. Many children no longer have any contact at all with their father when their parents divorce. Imtnot sure if child maintenance is just an agreement between parents or legally required. I can find out if you are interested.

Public daycare here is much much cheaper and the fees are based on your family earnings so a single mother on a low income could probably receive full-time daycare almost entirely for free.

I wore a mixture of Japanese maternity wear and stuff I ordered online from back home. Luckily I’m not that big even in Japan so i had mire options than the average westerner. Apart from trousers - I have a big bum even when not pregnant 😂

What's the attitude like to pain relief during childbirth?

I thought divorce might be a social taboo. How shocking that the fathers tend to not see their children afterwards.

I really like the idea of fees being based on family earnings.

I’m surprised by the coffee-and-gym Japanese mothers in London! That is not typical at all. I’m guessing they are wealthy expats because most women where I live (average working/middle class area) are either working or cycling around on their “mama-chari” (bikes with child seats!) shopping for groceries or taking their kids to seimming lessons or kumon!

Older women even frown upon working mothers for not looking after their own children so it’s certainly not typical behaviour here.

You are right about the noise in labour - it’s actively discouraged! My maternity nurse told me to be quiet because it would waste energy! The delivery room is very old-school - stirrups, delivery table etc. No birth plans or relaxing music - you basically do as you are told. Having said that, the c-section rate in Japan is much lower than the UK and US so they must be getting something right.

Sushi is not on the banned list! Few things are actually. Food hygiene is very good in Japan and sushi and sashimi in particular are prepared to the highest standards. They tell you to avoid eating too much fish high in mercury but they are more concerned that pregnant women eat a balanced diet (and not too much!).

In most hospitals there is NO pain relief! Not even gas and air. You just have to grit your teeth and get on with it quietly!

If you want an epidural you have to choose a hospital that actually offers “pain free births” and then you’ll be charged extra for the services of an anaesthetist.

I knew from the word go that the hospital I chose didn’t offer pain relief so I listened to hypnobirthing cds and practised breathing through the pain. Luckily it wasn’t as horrendous as I expected!

Sorry about all the typos! I’m sitting in the dark waiting for my children to go to sleep!

Very interesting. I'm intrigued about the lack of pain relief and the expectation to be quiet - what's the general attitude towards labour/childbirth? Do women talk about good or bad experiences? Or discuss it at all? Do many women seek out pain relief hospitals? I guess I'm wondering if birth is generally considered less agonising there if the norm is no pain relief? (I assume pain relief is offered if you have a tear that requires stitches, etc?)

How are you treated when you present to hospital saying you think you are in labour? Is there the attitude that you couldn't possibly be in labour yet/advanced labour, etc that you see here?

I know that in Korea, mum's are traditionally treated extremely well for the first weeks after birth. You basically stay in bed, resting and establishing breastfeeding, while family/friends/neighbours take care if older kids and bring you special meals. Is there the same culture on Japan? How do those traditions cope in modern society where more people work in offices?