I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

Pinkyyy, I am so enjoying this thread.

I was surprised to read that most traveller women bottle feed their babies, from choice. I rather romantically imagined there would be a culture of breast feeding amongst travellers.

Why do they generally choose not to and has that been the case for a long time?

I teach English as a second language. Lots of my students come from the Czech Republic and Slovakia but put their ethnicity as Roma. Would these people be welcomed into your community in the UK?

@jessstan2 thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying it. I think it has something to do with the fact that if they chose to breastfeed, they would need to do so in private. They wouldn't be able to do it in public or even in front of friends so it makes sense to bottle feed really.

@Toolchest13 we wouldn't consider them a part of our community, though I've never encountered anyone of that culture trying to engage with us. They (similarly to us) tend to mainly mix among themselves from what I've seen

You mentioned your children mix with non-traveler children but do they experience any problems with bullying from non-traveler children ?

Do you experience problems with non-traveler parents not wanting their children to mix with your children?

@Jens303 they do when they are at school. Luckily children don't have built in prejudice so this doesn't tend to be an issue. It is only when parents become involved, that issues arise, to answer your question yes this does happen quite frequently. Parents will tell their children not to mix with ours, and as soon as anything goes missing, they usually point the blame straight at the traveller children. I have known instances where parent's have gone as far to accuse them of stealing, with no evidence at all, purely based on their ethnicity.

Pinkyyy. You are doing well.
I think these threads are great my Romany AMA was surprisingly nice as well.

Just a point I wanted to raise.
There is no such thing as a language for Romany or other gypsies, languages have evolved from Sanskrit, mixed in with European Languages and then mixed with pigeon English from various parts of England.
The only ones to have their own language were the Nevi Welsh.
They are also not a Race, so you can't be racist, you can be prejudiced though.

I know Paddy Doherty is an Irish traveller and first became know through My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding - but do you think his 15 minutes of fame helped the traveller community generally?
I know you've said that programme isn't realistic but I think they did some other programmes where they showed more of his day to day life.

Thank you pinkyy for answering my question last night.
I know some travellers locally and they do speak with an Irish accent (I have Irish in my family so recognise the accent), but have never thought to ask where they originally 'come from'- likewise I don't get asked where I'm originally from. (It's a shame to see some PPs using a very derogatory word in relation to some Irish groups, I was brought up never ever to say that so I won't repeat it).

PP's question about Roma culture was interesting. I assumed you were of the same culture- Roma and that Romany is the name for the old dialect. Just goes to show what I know!

you mention your DH being a high earner, is that comparable to other travellers or to people generally? what does he do? really interesting thread x

very interesting thread - it is a shame Pinkyyy that people are preduced about your children

@RomanyRoots thank you, as I said I'm really not very clued up on the history and origins of where travellers came from, but we refer to our 'language' as Romany, perhaps that's not it's original name. Whether or not it is a race is usually up for debate with some thinking it is and others disagreeing

@NottonightJosepheen I wasn't actually aware of us having higher infant mortality rates if I'm honest. But likelihood was you could have been the first person they had ever seen breastfeeding which is why they would have reacted in that way

@INeedAWittyNameChange I didn't actually watch the programmes that focuses more on him, as I really didn't like the way the original one represented us, so I couldn't say really. I do think he was swayed into acting up to hold on to his 15 mins of fame though

@BlancheM thank you, what's interesting is that when travellers meet other travellers, one of the first things they ask is where are they from, so we certainly wouldn't be offended if anyone asked

@KittenFaces yes in most travellers families the DH is the sole earner or if not then definitely the higher earner. My DH runs a business in a particular area of property maintenance. It's all registered and he pays all the necessary taxes etc

@Jens303 thank you. It is a terrible shame but I just like to see it as their loss. If they are too prejudiced to get to know us, then they don't deserve to

Last year a group of travellers set up on a field in my town. The local Facebook group was ranting about it, taking photos and complaining etc. I actually complained to the admin of the group about the awful way some of the people were talking.

However, when the travellers left after about a week, the group went very quiet, with no comments. Then someone posted a photo of the field after they had left, with very little litter, and some piles of black bin bags next to the bins!

Pinkyyy

Tbh, I wasn't sure if you were aware or not, was just posting generally.
We can't be considered a race because whilst originally from India, this was centuries ago and now we are all over the place with little cultural aspects still remaining.
I have several family members who follow part of the old caste system, not because they consider themselves native Indians, but they have kept some of the culture.
The men being the ruler of the family, arranged marriages (my cousins)
Women having to stay in separate accommodation when menstruating etc.

I don't have the culture that you have, I have only studied and not purposefully lived a Romany lifestyle, although by chance have followed some aspects. Like H.ed e.g.

@raisinsraisins sadly that is the reality of the way most non-travellers think, even those who protest to be feminists and fight for equality for other groups. And the way they left the area is how many do leave it but as you pointed out, people only ever want to comment on the negatives

@RomanyRoots you are clearly very well read on the history and I have found your posts very interesting, thank you

I think this thread is fascinating - I'm always interested in learning more about cultures I don't know much about. I'm not aware of there being a big traveller community in Scotland but maybe it is that I've never noticed!
I definitely think there are some values that the wider population could do with embracing too.

Pinkyyy

Being completely honest, the history fascinates me. I only started so I could give our dc some info about our roots. I wasn't raised by my Romany family, but over the past 20 or so years have met them, become involved in their life, from afar and am learning so much.
We have long ago exceeded the original aim of finding out about our ancestors.
Perhaps I can help you with history and you can help me with modern

Ineed

The Faa family were Scottish and I have some ancestors who were a different name, came from Dumfrieshire.
If you google it, you'll find info.
A warning though, it's very time consuming once you start.

I'm sorry Pinkyyy I'm a huge derailer on these topics.

for Ineed
www.scottishgypsies.co.uk/faa.html

This is really interesting thank you. A few times you have mentioned upper class and lower class and I was just wondering what differentiates people in to each class? For example, is it predetermined based on family name or based on earnings or some other characteristics etc?

Thankyou for this thread it's very interesting and informative.

In my town there are quite a number of 'settled' communities. They tend to be on areas that were once green but have been built on where they've acquired private land in between the industrial areas and germ land. They've built their houses from scratch and have businesses in the sight. My nearest settled community sell Christmas trees and have previously ran ice rinks on the land for Christmas before they build their homes.

We also have a lot of travellers who rock up in their caravans. Unfortunately they hook up to private properties electricity, place themselves on leisure centre fields or car parks and cause damage and leave a mess.
But I understand these people are like many people in communities - even non traveller communities have residents who have no regard for the law of peaceful living.

I know for a few years the settled community had to bare the brunt of the non settled communities behaviour and stereotypes being applied to them.
I also know when j moved into my new build estate over a decade ago and there was trouble the damage was blamed on the 'children from the social housing'.
How do I know? Because one private resident spent rather a long time telling me so and I took great delight in mentioning it was my flag and surrounding flats that were the HA properties and the ones she'd pointed it the children causing damage were living in were the private owned properties.

So my question is do you sometimes feel the brunt of other travellers behaviour being placed on you as a stereotype and how do you overcome this and change peoples opinions in RL?

You mentioned birth control being accepted if a couple want that, what are the attitudes towards abortion?

@INeedAWittyNameChange thank you, there are an awful lot of travellers in Scotland! I agree and I think there are things our community could learn from yours too

@RomanyRoots sounds brilliant! I'm glad you can answer the historical questions for me as I really haven't ever looked very far into it

@Weepingwillows12 you're very welcome. It's a mixture of the 3 things you mentioned. A lot of it is family name, but backed up by money. Travellers like to display their wealth with expensive cars/ jewellery/ designer clothes to show their status

@youarenotkiddingme thank you. We definitely do feel the brunt of it, what amazes me is that people think there is one type of traveller (the typical stereotype) and that's it. How could an entire community of people be exactly the same? We usually just go about our business as if we wanted to change people's opinions we would be battling constantly. Those who bother to get close enough usually realise for themselves I think

@YoungBritishPissArtist abortion is frowned upon but doesn't tend to be an issue as people stay celibate and then of course any children conceived after marriage would be 'wanted' if that makes sense?

I'm here again with more interesting historical facts

No, seriously I thought this would be of interest. Romany/ gypsies weren't always looked down upon and discriminated against.
In fact recent history, within the last century some were greatly respected.
This is just one family, that I happen to descend from.
The gypsy king was a great uncle

Hi! I actually have a question that I've been thinking about for a while now! Do travellers have a 'code of ethics' for what land they will and won't use for temporary settlements? For example, I live in the country and there's lots of farmers fields that are totally open and could easily be accessed. No gates or hedges etc. Are these considered out of bounds?

For what it's worth, I've never had a problem with a traveller. I've only ever met nice travellers with lovely manners. Obviously you get some who are untidy and I've definitely seen some naughty kids but that's true of every part of society! My husbands great-nan was supposedly a traveller who married out.