I'm settled traveller married to a non traveller AMA

[uhtredsonofuhtred]

Just that really 

@Pinkyyy hmmm would think it more unpleasant for a lay-by to be left with shit and toilet paper 🤮

Although I will add, it's very rare for travellers to live on the side of the road now. They usually live on a site and will have their own bathroom building and often a shed for cooking in as the cookers are not used in the caravans (we call them trailers) either.

I'm sorry to have hijacked this thread but I feel as though people are asking questions and I am in a position to answer them properly, which the OP is not doing all that well.

@windydoggy see my additional reply, that's not very common, and people would usually drive to a supermarket etc to use the toilet when possible

I get the impression that travellers see themselves as an elite group with a divine right to do as they please and thump anyone who gets in their way

Living off the services provided by the peasants
taking their pleasures with the peasant women so as not to soil their own pure and elite women

@Wordthe I wouldn't say that was true. There are individuals who may feel this way, but that's not uncommon in other walks of life either. Most are actually very charitable and willing to help others, we generally wouldn't watch someone struggle and just pass by.

Ask you anything:

Are you raising your kids to believe violence is justified (as in the teacher punch situation)
Are you raising your kids to believe girls should keep house and men can do whatever they fancy?
How does your non-traveller husband feel about the above?

@Pinkyyy Thanks for your input . My only experience is when travellers visited our village and stayed for months in a lay by and when they left the human waste and just general rubbish was shocking .
Took ages for the council to clear it .
I do appreciate not all are the same but just seems disgusting that they had a toilet in caravan but would rather just leave poo for village to see , smell and clean up .

@Pinkyyy, I think you said up the thread that you thought there were significant differences between Irish Travellers and the community you are a part of -- could you elaborate? I'm Irish, and only knew Irish Travellers when I lived there, and know none in the UK from any type of Travelling background.

@windydoggy you're welcome. As I said before, living off the side of the road is very uncommon now, and those who do it are usually the ones who are likely to do what you've said. Majority are very proud of their homes and wouldn't be surrounded in dirt and rubbish. I hate to say it's a class thing but it does tend to be the lower class people who live in the way which you described.

@Parthenope the main difference is that they really don't integrate all that much, they tend to live as two separate circles for the most part. English travellers are more likely to give their children the freedom to stay in education longer, and to marry when is right for them, whereas Irish travellers tend to lean in the opposite direction.

I'm not sure if the OP is returning but I do feel quite bad about taking over this thread. I have toyed with the idea of starting one of these in the past to try and help educate people on our way of life, but they always seem to take a bad turn.

Thanks, Pinkyyy. Are you talking about Irish Travellers in the UK, though? My experience as regards attitudes length of education has been different, but that was in Ireland, and admittedly a self-selecting group of Traveller women doing adult ed courses.

@Pinkyyy Thank you Yes I do think your right about the class thing , there are always some giving the others a bad name .
Very hard not to judge when you have bad experiences but you explained it well .

@Parthenope Yes I am talking about Irish travellers living in the UK, so my experiences could be quite different to yours.

@windydoggy Class plays a huge part in the travelling community and sadly there really is a terrible stigma attached to being a traveller due to the actions of what really is a minority. I'm glad I've been able to explain it well as it is quite difficult sometimes

I worked with a child from a large travelling family - it was quite difficult to engage with them and they removed all their children from education at the end of primary school.

The mother couldn't read so generally didn't even know when meetings/visits were being held (wouldn't answer her phone).

Father had been in prison for an incredibly violent crime.

Mother believed she was doing the absolute best for her children. It was actually very sad. The children had no autonomy and multiple safeguarding concerns.

@pinkyyy thanks for your interesting input! I'd love you to do your own thread.

Thank you @Aaaahfuck perhaps I will in the future. It's a subject I know many people have questions about, but those questions are sometimes quite difficult to answer.

they had a toilet in caravan but would rather just leave poo for village to see , smell and clean up
it's a way of marking territory, asserting dominance over the host group
'you people are so lowly that you should clear up our shit'

it also lines up with the practice of keeping traveller women pure (no sex before marriage) but soiling the women belonging to the host group

@Wordthe You really are completely wrong. I can assure you there's no marking of territory, travellers are not dogs. It's more a disregard for those who have to clean it up, which of course is not acceptable but as I have stated- you're referring to a minority of people.

There is no 'soiling' of non-traveller women, just consensual sex with those who have obviously chosen to do so. The women staying 'pure' has nothing to with them feeling like royalty, it's from the strong religious values. Many men also choose to abstain, or have sex with the travelling girls who choose to go against these values. Your comments are incorrect and quite offensive, what are you basing this knowledge on?

Local travellers here are a law unto themselves, and have been for at least 30 years. They’re on a site on a main thoroughfare in a busy city. They routinely block it for all manner of reasons, impacting on thousands of drivers trying to get to and from work. They commit burglary, rifle through building sites, steal anything not nailed down under the guise of being scrap metal dealers. Recently they brought the whole city to a standstill whilst they held a funeral. And they left 2 horses tied up (so tight they couldn’t move) to die at the side of a main road for weeks because they had served their purpose. Disgusting.

I used to work for the local education authority who had to bend over backwards and spend a fortune to try and educate the children whilst the parents put absolutely no value on it whatsoever.

Pinkyyy I hope you do start a thread, I for one would find it very interesting and am completely neutral about travellers. The more we know about each other the better.

@Pinkyyy thank you so much for your considered and patient responses on this thread - you've articulated things really clearly and, as a non-Traveller, I have found your posts interesting, enlightening and useful

The question re Traveller languages:

Irish Traveller: language has a couple of names Gammon, Shelta or Cant

Romany Gypsy: Language is called Romani or Rom...and has its roots in India

Also, re not using the toilet in the trailer, is more to do with the proximity of the toilet to where you eat, and the fact that chemical toilets need emptying (obviously) and can leak. This is why on sites everyone usually has their own toilet outbuilding.

Very few Travellers leave their waste, human or otherwise behind for others to clean up...it's just those are the experiences of Travellers that most people talk about. Lots of non Travellers throw their rubbish in the street and fly tip etc, look at the mess left behind after music festivals, for example. Also, when Travellers move on, some local people see it as carte blanche to fly tip in the area the Travellers have just vacated (white van men are notorious for this!!) and the Travellers get the blame.