Im a retired shoplifter AMA

[WorkingGirlJem]

That's it really. Have been a shoplifter for approx 10 years, and have recently decided to stop.
I'm not proud of myself, am fully expecting to get flamed, but and am hoping getting this out there will help with my resolve to stop permanently.
AMA

What items in your home do you use on a daily/weekly/regular basis that are stolen?

I think your really brave to post here.

You've turned your life around.

Well done.

Onwards and upwards.

Good for you.

Do you not want to try and do something to put right your wrongs?

As you weren’t caught and punished if you truly regret your actions aren’t you trying to put things right somehow?

I am worried about your level of anxiety. The symptoms you describe sound like PTSD and I think you need to get some professional support (not just anti-anxiety medication, which will help but is not enough on its own IME). You've been banking the anxiety and guilt around this behaviour for years, and now it's overwhelming you. Please get some help. You didn't do these things for no reason and you need to understand why your life went the way it did.

I'm also concerned that you are using this thread as a form of emotional self-harm. You know there are people here who will see you as fair game for hateful comments. Don't use MN as a means of putting yourself in the stocks, it won't make you feel any better. go to the doctor and access some proper support to process what has happened

Indiana Most of our soft furnishing/my clothes and shoes. My make up, perfume, jewellery, candles, photo frames, Freesat box, games, juicer, kitchen knives, china cups and saucers, bedding etc.
The list is massive and I don't like to think about it.

GinUnicorn What do you suggest?

I really couldn’t say without knowledge of the value taken in both money and distress to others.

It just seems to me if you are truly sorry and regret the harm you have caused many people you would want to do something positive to make amends. Otherwise it seems like it’s jut words.

Do you have a partner and have you ever had to explain how/why you've acquired so much stuff of value?

greensleeves Honestly, thank you but I feel nothing but positive since posting. It has been truly cathartic to get it all out and face what I have done.
There is nothing underlying what I did and no excuse.
My anxiety has come from the realisation of a number of things, and the changes to my life I have had to make because of them.
I will recover and emerge a different, hopefully better person.

Anyone else who has been positive and kind to me who I haven't mentioned, thank you also.

Kirsty no partner, just a bf. I have a good job so having lots of nice stuff isn't suspicious.

It just seems to me if you are truly sorry and regret the harm you have caused many people you would want to do something positive to make amends. Otherwise it seems like it’s jut words

I haven't said that GinUnicorn

Then what are you going to do to make amends for this then?

GinUnicorn Exactly like you, I have no idea how I can, other than to never stray down that path again.

How did you explain your ‘haul’ to your DP? Are you a HCP? Well done for stopping

@GinUnicorn - this is a good idea... I do believe OP may need to have some time before doing this though.
Yes, OP has stopped without temptation but she is still learning to not steal.
Maybe, in the future OP could donate a monthly some to some charities, do a little volunteer work or even write an anonymous letter with a small donation to companies. There are plenty of things she could do, right now she should feel no pressure.

*monthly sum

howardsmoon I don't have a DP, just a bf so no explaining to do.

Yes Howardsmoon HCP

What would you have said if caught?

How does it feel to be part of this statistic "Crime cost the UK retail industry £603m in the 2013-14 financial year, 18% higher than the previous 12 months " "there were 698,184 offences resulting in loss or damage to property in 2013-14, but said the true figure is more like 3 million andcustomer theft made up the bulk of the criminal activity, accounting for 81% of all incidents".
Do you realise the affect you personally had on businesses, employees, customers and suppliers.

What do you think the punishment be for theft? Why did you think you were above the law? What made it acceptable for you to steal?

You say you didn't steal from independents like that's a good thing only doing it to big corporations, but these big corporations employ thousands of people, who may get no wage rise, no bonus and even sacked due to the store not having the budget to keep them on. My dad tesco let 50 xmas staff go who were all going to be offered contracts because the loss was too high due to theft. How does it feel to know you could have played a part in that.

I am glad you’ve stopped.
What would happen to your children if you were convicted and put in prison?!
I work in retail and despise shoplifters. Even though it’s a big chain my colleagues and I still feel shit when someone steals something and we still get in trouble and feel worried if it turns out we were nearby when it happened or didn’t see something we perhaps should have, we are only human.
So although you weren’t stealing from independents/small businesses don’t think real, everyday people were not affected by your actions

Op - what is the single most expensive item you have stolen?
What was the most difficult item to steal?
Did it take a lot of planning?
What is the best deterrent a shop can use ( I understand if mn won't allow the last question to be answered).

OP, what would have told your children if you were caught?

gt84
Im glad too.
The impact on my children would obviously have been huge, and I would have never forgiven myself for bringing that shame on them. That was another big part for the reason I stopped, I believed my luck would have to run out sometime.
They are adults though, and independent so they would still have a roof over their heads.

don't think real, everyday people were not affected by your actions That was it, unfortunately I didn't think they were affected. I didn't really think much about it at all til now.

Tiscold What could I have said? I would imagine that if you are caught, they already have the evidence before approaching you, so not much I could say.
I know nothing of our punishment system so cannot answer what I think the punishment should be.
I didn't think I was above the law, I don't think I thought at all, as while I was doing it I found it relaxing and like a form of escapism.
Like I have said countless times on this thread, I am not proud of my actions, nor of the fact that others have potentially suffered.

Belinda The most expensive single item was a Fitbit. It was the latest model so retailing at around £200
It's not the item that is the most difficult, its the shop. Things that are easy to steal in one shop might be near impossible in another.
Yes, it takes planning, and re-planning. There is always a new obstacle in your way so to speak. Sometimes a hard and fast plan is needed and sometimes its just an opportunity that presents itself.
The best deterrent a shop can use imo is tagging items internally as well as externally. Most novice shoplifters would presume that if they removed a visible tag or chip, they won't set off an alarm on leaving, as they wouldn't know there was also an internal tag/chip.

WorkingGirlJem bravo for coming here, and being so open. I can't quite imagine how you got to be in the situation you were in, but I'm really glad you are committed to not going back to that.

I shoplifted food items from supermarkets as a teen, living away from home and very hungry. I didn't get caught, so quickly moved onto stealing clothes and shoes. It stopped within months though, as soon as I found stable housing and had an income. There was a kind of high from being successful, but mainly from not getting caught. My heart would pound for days though.

I look back and cannot imagine how I was stupid enough to do it, and where I got the courage to think I could. Literally, it does not seem like me in any way. I have never told anyone who was not around during that period, and feel very ashamed.

I know it would be much harder to live, actively live with, all of the items I had stolen. I got rid of everything as quickly as I could.

I wish you the best for the future.