I’m a Child Protection social worker AMA

[Lupinslupinelady]

I won’t be breaching any confidentiality...

Sorry to butt in lupins.
Great thread idea though, really informative so thank you

If a child has a sex offender as a parent apart from the obvious no unsupervised contact what information can they get about their child? Do they still have parental responsibility?

They still have parental responsibility - unless the child has been adopted. If I’m foster care, parental responsibility is shared with the Local Authority. Being informed about the child would depend on the case particulars and any social care plan but they have the right to be informed about this and the reasons.

Ploppymoodypants, thanks for helping me answer! And thanks all for all the thanks.

Lupinslupinelady, this is a great thread. I admire you - there is no way I would be able to do the work you do.

Do you think there is enough support for mothers/fathers who have lost custody of their children? Do you think there should be more? If there was, do you think it would help prevent some parents from having multiple interventions and/or children removed?

In respect of children removed by the local authority rather than due to private law, yes there is a lot of support. Whenever we recommend to the Court in our final evidence that adoption is the plan, birth parents are referred to Coram which is independent, and there are also in-house teams for this and when children are likely to remain in long term foster care. I always let the GP and any other professionals involved with the parents know. The problem is that the parents are often understandably so shocked and sad that they are unlikely to want to engage with it - and this may be affected by mental health/ substance misuse etc But these interventions can help and I’ve worked with several families with older kids removed but current ones staying home - 2 such families right now.

Ok well that's interesting, does that depend on the area? The family I know received no support or referrals whatsoever after the children left.

It probably does depend on the area but their solicitor ought to advocate for support for them if none is offered.

Hi i recently asked my local social services for info held on me under the freedom on information act.
Basically my ex made malicious reports when we split up.
They were closed down after a 5 min phone call from a SW.
What info will be released to me, there are police records of the abuse in the relationship and after, and ongoing now, im hoping the info will assist me when i see a solicitor.
Im also v scared about what my ex is doing to dc, it seems he is trying to groom them into hating me.
An issue recently was kids came back with uniform that smelt after his access weekend, he won't buy uniform for his house so he didn't wash it or dry it properly for the Monday.
I sent an email giving him 2 options, buy uniform or return Sunday night rather than Monday, he screen shotted it and sent it to DS 13 with the spin that i am stopping him seeing them.
How can i protect my DC, ive spoken to school safe guarding officers, making them aware that there is on going police involvement and soon legal involvement.
We dont have a court order and Solicitor is thinking about a cease and desist type of letter about the abuse he sends by email when i try to arrange or discuss anything to do with DC,
He also has told me his new partners aunt is high up in SS and is going to be advising him and looking into things.
Ive spoken to my local SS and made them aware he is making threats again to report me again etc.
Sorry for the ramble

When I reported my ex bf assaulting me to the police, I told my children (all teens) that social services would be in contact.

They phoned me and I have to say, they were amazing. Thank you op for doing this job

Hi Brandnewshit, that sounds horrible and sadly typical. First, if his parther’s aunt were to look at your records and use it to advise him, she would be in big trouble - as it would be breach of confidentiality and loss of professional boundaries. IF she or him or anyone had welfare concerns about your kids, they still need to do a referral like anyone else. It’s good you have a solicitor and Cafcass might get involved - have you looked at their website as there are useful resources for explaining private law to both children and parents. What info is released from social care will probably be any assessment done - but your solicitor or the Court should get police disclosures directly.
Do you need to push your solicitor for a Child Arrangements Order? I assume he has PR? If you believe he is harming your children - and this sort of situation often involves emotional abuse of children - you can stop contact but be prepared for him and his solicitor to claim you did this for your reasons and not for the children.
Has school been helpful and has there been a response from social care to your raising concerns about his behaviour? Make sure you log everything.

School has spoken to both kids, told them they have safe spaces to go to if they need to talk.
Ive not actually spoken to a solicitor yet. Im hoping i can get some legal aid as i dont work through a long term condition.
He makes threats about reporting me to SS regularly.
SS confirmed they havent had any recent reports
One of the original reports was that there was a silver car outside my house. He actually picked up the phone and reported that. He is unstable.
I dont want to stop access, i think this would cause more harm to DC.
He tells them all the time that mum is going to stop you seeing me, they are scared of that and if i did so it plays into his hands.
I dont have concerns about them in his care, the emotional stuff he does i just have to rise above and DC will see it for what it is.
I now ensure their uniform is washed and clean for.Monday mornings.
Yes he feeds them crap all weekend but i cant withold access for that.
So when i go to see a solicitor they would be able to get full details of his reports.
Ex is a coward, i think if he gets a letter from a solicitor telling him to stop he would, i just dont need abuse and threats when i email him about essential issues.
Ill have a look at cafcass.
I want to get all my ducks in a row before i do anything, he will just go crazy
I reported the latest threat to the police but asked them not to approach him yet.

Well i have spoken to a solicitor that womens aid passed on, we had a talk but ive not actually been to the half hour slot.
I want as much proof and evidence i can gather before i do

He had a troubled childhood, his mum was a drug addict and abandoned him, he grew up hating his mum, he seems to think its part of a normal childhood hating your mum.
I think the emotional abuse he continues with toward me is because he never got to express that anger toward his mum. She died and they had had no contact.
Hes admitted this to me and to healthcare professionals, he had some counselling when we were together and specifically asked for a male counsellor as he doesn't trust women.

Brandnewshit you're right that's exactly what's going on. Sounds like a horrible situation best of luck to you 

It is horrible, i have so much going on with my health condition too, the dreaded PIP assesment looming, a nurse who visited me at home regarding my health condition asked if she could refer me to adult safeguarding, i broke down in front of her and let everything out

She said herself in her remit, which is nothing to do with SS, she had no concerns about kids, but shes concerned about my mental health.
Im scared that this will go in his favour too.
Part of the abuse and threats particularly after we split is that because i have ancient and depression and MS i am an unfit mum.
I admit i am scared of him. It was awful what he put me through. I have nightmares about SS coming to remove kids with him.
Im waiting for counselling with NHS but there is a very long wait.

You are coping with a huge amount. Do you have any family or friends support? Engage with help for your mental and physical health because it will help but no Court will remove children for that reason unless it is really harming the children. Most parents have mental and/or physical health struggles at some point. If you are referred to adult services, your social worker would/ should be your advocate and help you to see a solicitor etc. Good luck

I reported an incident that involved my child being harmed whilst at their Fathers house (harmed by ex's girlfriends 18 year old son)
Social services did not treat it seriously enough and said it was a civil matter.
How would I go about complaining/taking it further?
Would it even be worth it?

We have SW round sometimes (DS disability). I amuse myself by buying fresh flowers and scented candles. Then the next time the house is normal / trashed. I don't think she notices either way, do SWs not pay attention to the state of your house?

Thank you lupins, what will adult safe guarding do, will they help me access services for me and kids.
DS 13 came home tonight from his access weekend, told me within 5 mins of being home his dad is working cash in hand on the side for his friend, obv i will speak to CMS, i dont ask DC for info but they tell me this stuff, when i raise it with him, my DS in particular kind of placates his dad, denies he said it to me, so ex has it in his head that i grill them for the info. I dont talk about him or ask, the thought of him sends me into panic.
All info is given voluntary by DC, i dont give a shit about him, but he has it in his head i sit down and ask all these questions
My family are a huge support, it looks like a MS charity can offer some type of counselling service to me until NHS catches up.
I just want to protect my DC and obv myself but im scared if i access services it will be held on file that can be used against me.

Both DC have come home, unwashed, in clothes, inc coats they wear to school i sent them in on Friday smelling of fried foods, maybe I'm picky but it means me rewashing and drying over night so it smells clean for school, if i raise this with him i just get abusive correspodence back.
DD has blisters on her heel and a plaster as her shoes at his house have rubbed her, i dont even ask how old the shoes are, i try to stay calm and not commemt and bite my tongue.

Just to say hi 👋🏻
I'm a Child Protection social worker too 😊

Have you experienced instances where the LA SEN team refers families of autistic children to discredit them and avoid providing support? www.hcbgroup.com/site/blog/education_blog/social-care-and-autism-in-practice

I'm probably going to get laughed at for asking this, but I have to know for sure...

Is it true that what children look like or their age has a part to play in whether they are taken or not? I read in what I thought to be a respectable source, that you are lacking in fair haired Caucasian (younger) children; and that as a result, you are more likely to take children who fit this description?