I’m a Child Protection social worker AMA

[Lupinslupinelady]

I won’t be breaching any confidentiality...

Catquest1, I did leave a job because there was unsafe practice and my conerns about this were ignored and I was then treated badly in consequence. I nearly left the profession then and had to take (unpaid) sick leave. But we keep going because we feel it is worthwhile and because it is the career we have invested in and made sacrifices for like workers and working parents everywhere. And one can move around in social work - I don’t think it is wise to do CP for too long as it is too stressful and one can get desensitised maybe.

@Lupinslupinelady Thank you so much for the message back. I'll get their dad to call again and insist. Their mum doesn't seem phased...she moved the lady in after 2 weeks and is now having a baby with her...3rd relationship in 2 years...last girl was homeless, their mum met her on FB and moved her in the next day, which is why the court said the kids should live with us. She says my partner is just jealous when he raises his concerns 😥

ABitCrapper, it would depend if she is working with services to improve things for the sake of the baby. She will be priority for housing so needs to access that. Is there a reason for not engaging with antenatal care like mental health or transport issues? If not, it is a worry that she is not focusing on the needs of the baby by doing this. But would need the whole picture and evidence to suggest if removal of the baby at birth might be considered.

Thanks. I'm not sure how much I'm told is hyperbole but she's convinced theyved told her that the baby will be taken anyway, that's she's given up and is in denial. Nothing anyone says seems to help either.
There is definitely no prioritising the baby though. Still drinking and smoking a bit (although cut down massively).
Ah well, there's nothing I can do :(

Lupins, i have had my info sent through from my local SS, i want to thank the services for seeing through what my ex was doing with the malicious reports, who knows it might have been you lol.
I feel so much more confident about meeting with a solicitor now i have this info.
The SW believed that i am a good mum and that my ex was harrassing me.
Ive seen copies of the correspondence he was sent basically telling him to politely shut up.
The strength that has given me is enormous, the extent of the gas lighting made me believe that he was receiving different corrrespondence telling him that i was to expect a random visit at any time.
Thank you to your colleagues for seeing through him.
And thank you for your advice on this thread

It's occurred to me recently that of the families that I've been personally involved with all of them, except one, had at least one parent who was in care themselves. Is this a general trend do you think? And if so, what could we be doing to break the cycle? It seems desperately sad.

@Lupinslupinelady are you still in the same job?
Do social workers tend to move around a lot? As in from CP to other areas?

I am yes but specialising more so may make a move in that direction. THere is flexibility in SW to move areas. Plenty do get burnout from working long-term in CP because it can be very stressful and distressing - although also very rewarding at times. My worry has always been that I will get too used to seeing neglect and abuse which might stop me being able to risk-assess effectively. But it’s a double-bind because CP needs the experienced workers. As with many jobs, a good manager is key and I have a wonderful one.

Please ignore my last post - have reported it to get it moved. Sorry.

What would you do if you had a referral from the police about domestic abuse including coercive control and shouting at a baby? This is what happened with my husband. I am also concerned that he has delusions and he has threatened suicide but resists treatment. I was referred to social services but as I left they closed my case as I had moved out of area.

I am now wondering if I should have stayed long enough to have the assessment as I would have been given some clear guidance on how to ensure contact is safe. I am afraid that my husband will go to court and get unsupervised access as he has threatened to take DS away from me.

Contact the social services department which your family were referred to and say exactly that - they should give helpful advice. If your baby had a health visitor or GP there you could also contact them for advice as they work closely with social workers. If your ex tries to seek contact via the court you must tell the court - via the Cafcass social worker - about your concerns. Women’s Aid can also advise:

www.womensaid.org.uk

Thank you so much for your response. I will contact them and see what they suggest. I have got a support worker at Women’s Aid who is lovely but I know that the courts and social services will have a different point of view.

I feel a bit caught because if I let him see DS I can be accused of not being able to protect him and if I don’t I can be accused of parental alienation.

You need to demonstrate that your priority is your child ie. that you are preventing contact because you are worried about your baby’s safety and that this is serious enough to justify preventing him time with his father which is also a very serious matter due to rights to family life . Don’t be scared by the court and social workers - their view should not be different to this. Cafcass gets a bad rep on Mumsnet but if you tell them about the mental health concerns and suicide threats by your ex - and domestic abuse - they will take it seriously especially with the police evidence from the referral you mentioned. Women’s Aid should be able to help you get a solicitor which is crucial. But supervised contact will probably be discussed so be open to this or you might be accused of parental alienation unless the concerns are so serious that even this isn’t safe - the Court would probably want medical/ psychological evidence of this.

At what point does mess in a household become a child protection issue?

If a dad who has been abusive in a relationship and only wants to see 2 of the children out of 3 -same mum - is he allowed to do this with no trouble ?

lupinslipinelady that’s what I am trying to do. I did supervise access myself but I felt very stressed. I am happy for him to see him, I just don’t feel that he is very safe at the moment.

I have got a solicitor now so I am feeling a lot better. Your reply is reassuring because I have read some awful things about CAFCASS on here and elsewhere.

When I was pregnant he kept telling me he would take DS away from me as soon as he was born so it is hard to get him out of my head.

Wow, this thread has been running a long time now. Thanks for posting, it has been really informative. I am considering training to be a social worker as a mature student. Can your give me a rough day in the life of a social worker? I'm curious about the balance of admin/office work vs visiting etc. What are the different areas of social work that you can chose to pursue outside of child protection? If you chose to be a child protection social worker, is it too different to switch to adult social work later?

Can you explain the difference between a Child In Need Plan and a Child Protection Plan and what would trigger each one please

Do you liaise much with education welfare/school attendance officers and to what extent? (need to know for a job I am looking at. Thanks in advance )

Siablue, I’m always sorry when I read posts about bad Cafcass work because I know that as in any profession, poor work is likely done by them and they are very over-stretched, but I also know that they also do some very good work and have to tread a very fine line. If we have to write the court report for private law cases (section 7 or section 37 reports) one of the parents is also frequently unhappy with it but it is for the Court to make the final decisions and our priority is the child.
That is shocking what your ex said when you were pregnant so please tell your solicitor and anyone else so the Court will know. Good luck!

Insomniacscientist, only if it can be proved that it is causing the child significant harm - so physical/ sexual/ emotional abuse or neglect. Some mess is normal with children - dirt is more of a worry and excessive mess/ dirt can be dangerous and constitute neglect. It can also indicate that a parent isn’t coping maybe due to mental health reasons. A parent would usually be given time and help to get the mess sorted before we went down the CP route. People have the right to live with mess provided it does not harm their children and it can be difficult to keep homes tidy with children/ teens in them.

Sweetpeach3, I think it unlikely - what on earth are his reasons? If he is favouring two children over the third and/ or punishing/ scapegoating the third, that suggests emotional abuse and is a big worry. And if he was/ is abusive in the relationship, this makes him an ongoing risk for all the children. If it goes to Court and the children are old enough then they will be asked if they want to see him or not. But if one child chooses not to, that is very different to the parent saying they don’t want to.

Raceagainst, yes, work with Education Welfare Officers a lot - get lots of referrals from them because children who aren’t in school/ aren’t in school enough indicates something is wrong - unless there is proper home-schooling in place. And children out of education has been a factor in some Serious Case Reviews. I’m always impressed by the work of EWOs - similar to social workers in doing endless home visits and trying to support families - have had some great results from working closely with them.

If you get an initial overcautious referral for a child who has a parent with MH but it is closed straight away after a quick phone call with social services talking to the other parent and being completely satisfied, no further action or any visits needed, does it stay on file and who would know about it? School? Or the GP? Or does it just stay on file at social services?