i'm a trans man ask me anything!

[LoveMyLukey]

just that really! i didn't start this thread to bash people who aren't convinced trans is a real thing or to try and brainwash and push my views on other people. just to try and help people understand or have questions answered :)

[wotsittoyou]

I'm sorry, it's already been asked, but I'm still confused. What does it feel like to be a man? Why wouldn't it be more accurate to describe you as a woman who eschews female stereotypes?

[DieAntword]

die i know that our life purpose realistically is just to reproduce and carry on the human race but surely nowadays we have more purpose than that? i can still be a man without fulfilling my manly duty to make as many babies as possible right? i maybe be a different kind of man than natal ones but that's overcomplicating it

I didn’t say anything about life purpose, but what sex is. All that makes a woman is the nature of female reproduction and all that makes a man is the nature of male reproduction. How could it be anything else?

I feel far more like my husband than the vast majority of women, we have more in common, we get along better, we understand each other, have similar insecurities and similar goals, but I have a womb and ovaries and he has a penis and testes (my boobs don’t work so they’re basically no different to his food boobs). Of course there are social and probably biological consequences to the different ways we make babies that effect who we are but the root of it is the babies thing. If you wanted to make babies - admittedly you probably can’t now - you’d be doing it by getting pregnant. You’d carry a child inside you for 9 months or so. Whichever way you cut it that’s pretty much the definition of not being a man. If you were the other way round, mtf , and wanted babies you’d be putting sperm in a woman and - if you’re a good man supporting her through it - if you’re a bad man leaving her to it while you go off have fun. That’s the difference, all other differences stem from it.

[AnotherEmma]

Thanks for your honest answers OP.

I think some of the questions have a disrespectful/critical undertone and I hope the thread doesn’t turn nasty.

[Elephantinacravat]

So you have gender dysphoria OP? What do you think about the push to take 'gender dysphoria' out of the equation because 'being trans isn't a mental illness'? What is your view on Self id? Do you think there should be certain qualifiers to be transgender? What do you think of the Stonewall umbrella of transgenderism which includes cross dressers?

Sorry, lots of questions there!

[HandlebarTash81]

Thank you OP. You come across brilliantly and I’m fully supportive of your right to be recognised as a man. You are listening and replying with a great deal of insight that we haven’t seen quite so much of on these boards from others who have been socialised male. And I appreciate that you didn’t have to do any of this.

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

This is honestly so sad to read.

That’s two young lesbians lost to the trans agenda.

Do you not think that maybe dysphoria in females is more to do with growing up faced with patriarchal expectations and the threat from men? I don’t think I know any women who didn’t hate being a girl, either fleetingly or persistently throughout their pre teen and teenage years.

My sister starved herself to stave off boobs and hips. I wore the baggiest of shirts and then hid in grunge/goth culture. This culture of telling kids they can be the opposite sex is taking a normal part of puberty and pathologising it.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong or abnormal about being a dysphoric teenager. It doesn’t need treating with hormones and surgery. 98% of girls grow out of it and into their bodies. Many will be lesbian or bi women.

Personality etc is still so fluid in your late teens and early twenties, making permanent and irreversible changes to your body at this age is madness. Just look at how many of us have regrettable tattoos ffs.

I wish you well in your life, obviously, and I’m glad your choices are making you happy. But please don’t swallow the nonsense of ‘trans or die’ because it’s not true, and rates of suicidality actually remain the same AFTER transition.

[AnotherEmma]

I don’t see any questions there Yippee, just a load of opinions 🙄

[Notacluewhatthisis]

I have to ask.....What is your opinion on the insistence of some to use 'cis'? Especially when they are forcing that on women who were born women?

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

Gosh, having opinions. Burn the witch. And there is a question in my third sentence.

[AnotherEmma]

True, I missed that one.

This is an AMA thread, the main purpose is to ask the OP questions.

There are hundreds of other threads to discuss opinions about trans issues.

I disagree with shutting down debate and obviously everyone has opinions but I wish everyone would be respectful to the OP on a thread like this.

[BeyondAdultHumanFemale]

Sorry, three questions - hope that's okay?

First, you say you are in a relationship with a transman and have met gay men who "would" have sex with you. Have you had a sexual relationship with a "non trans" gay man?

Second, what reasons were given by the Tavistock for why they were not keen on giving you a diagnosis?

And finally, do you have an opinion on the existence of ROGD?

[ShotsFired]

@LoveMyLukey currently 48% of trans people in britain have attempted suicide, 82% have thought about it and 55% have been diagnosed with depression. i got these numbers from studies stonewall did

Lukey, are you aware those numbers have been widely debunked?
www.transgendertrend.com/stonewall-school-report-what-does-suicide-rate-mean/

I am sorry you have personal experiences of friends attempting suicide, that must be incredibly hard. But given the stats are so spurious, would you be open to learning more about how young women particularly are suffering with growing up in a society where they are sexualised almost from childhood and taught impossible ideals and standards are the only way to be a woman - and how that upbringing could have had a huge effect on suicidal ideation?

Thank you for engaging on this thread, as a pp says, you have been more forthcoming and open than other men who have been aggressive and demanding we bow to their "manly opinions" etc.

[Johndoe10]

I agree Emma

love for me the trans movement is quite scary. Well not trans in it self but self ID (I know I touched on it last night but I was shattered) I understand that most trans girls and women will just want to blend in to the crowd and live a happy quiet life, but I feel it opens the door for people that want to abuse that.

Regarding the GG, Male teenagers bodies behave completely different to females (obviously) but also unpredictably and involuntary so for me I don’t think it’s appropriate. It would be very embarrassing/scary to be lay next to the opposite sex when their bodies are behaving as Male bodies do.

You say that of if one of the girls felt uncomfortable they would be able to move but why should she. She is s female in a female space. I think this is one of the reasons people get annoyed as your first response would be for the natal girl to move.

There is s thread on here at the moment about a seriously violent murderer who was in a cat A prison. He has now self ID and is moving to a cat B prison (as there are no female cat A prisons in that country) do you think this is right? Those women are being placed with rapist and murderer because he says he is now a women. Why does his need to be a woman trump the need for a safe closed environment,

Do you feel that the main Twitter trans activists go too far? Or do you agree with them. Do you ever look at some of their posts and think ‘wow that is bat shit’ - like being able to transplant a womb and have babies and experience periods

Do you ever think deep down that your still a female but living and enjoying your life as a man?

Lots of questions sorry!

[zen1]

Just a trivial question from me: Do you have a YouTube channel (you come across eloquently so I can imagine you on YouTube)? If not, are there any trans ftm YouTubers you follow and if there are, how have they positively impacted your life? Thanks

[IhatetheArchers]

I think there are some small studies showing a possible link between autism in girls and gender dysphoria (I've noticed this anecdotally, but am aware the plural of anecdote isn't data!). Have you ever been assessed for autism?

[Bloomcounty]

You speak about eventually having surgery, presumably to remove your uterus and other female genitalia.

How do you feel about the use of NHS resources on sexual transition surgery, which could, in the most basic terms, be deemed to be "cosmetic" surgery? Breast removal, phalloplasty, hysterectomy, etc etc. Not necessary, medically, but needed from a mental health perspective.

You did mention going private, so perhaps this won't apply to you at all, but you're still going to have an opinion on it, I'm sure, and a well considered one as your other posts show you've thought deeply about this all.

Effectively, you (personally, and as a group) have organs you don't want. It's not that these organs have cancer, or are failing, or are damaged. You just don't want them. I appreciate the WHY part of you not wanting them - hell, if someone was prepared to come remove my crappy uterus and all the fibroids and cysts I suffer from, I'd bite their hands off. But they're not. There's not the money.

How do you feel about the resources issue?

[BeyondAdultHumanFemale]

On that note ihate, I saw figures recently that 60% (iirc) of people diagnosed with autism have attempted suicide.

[catkind]

OP, what, to you, is the difference between a man and a woman?

I think I'm a woman because of biology, but biology is literally the only reason I have to think I'm a woman. I don't like having female biology or identify with it, I just have it. So if biology is removed as the definer of man/woman, I no longer know which category I belong to. Would you see someone like me as non-binary?

[HandlebarTash81]

OP, without the physical make up of a man, what is it that you feel makes you a man?
Do you believe that the traits that broadly define male gender are innate?
Do you believe that someone with female endocrinology and physiology can emulate those? Where then do they come from, within you?

All asked with respect. Thank you

[Italiangreyhound]

LoveMyLukey thank you for answering so many questions. You are coming across much more mature than your 18 years.

Does anything about the 'trans movement' or 'trans community' frustrate you?

I noticed fairly early on you mentioned trans women and trans girls. I've seen this a few times trans men mentioning the needs or concerns of trans women.

It's very rare, in my experience of reading about this topic, to read or hear trans women mentioning anything about trans men or trans boys.

Does that frustrate you?

Also, can you offer some advice, please?

My best friend's daughter is talking about being a trans boy at 13. They don't want to go to a clinic etc. Just to identify as a boy.

My friend is trying to be supportive, she is concerned.

You implied earlier than some people might be, 'confised' I think was your word. How do you think my friend can tell if this is genuine gender dysphoria?

Thank you

[Truckingonandon]

OP has gone and isn't coming back.

[Gingersdohavesouls]

Sending nothing more than love to my Rainbow brother 🌈 xx

[LittleMissedTheSunshine]

OP i'm trying to understand what it must have felt like for you to grow up feeling like you were in the wrong body.

Is it a bit like if I, as a biological woman, suddenly woke up tomorrow with male genitals, chest hair, adams apple, no boobs, no vagina etc and how disoreintating that would feel for me?

Is that how you felt, even though you never had the opposite gender body parts to those making you feel disorientated in the first place?

[SlowlyShrinking]

I hope everything works out for you, op, and you don’t come to regret any of your transition.
I would like to ask how you feel about the time spent, by trans activists, in trying to encourage/force other people to believe in transition? To me it seems wasted time out of your valuable life, because a lot of us do understand, but we just don’t share the same beliefs about gender. You could be better off focusing on accepting yourself, so then it doesn’t matter to you what anyone else thinks, no?

[DieAntword]

Is it a bit like if I, as a biological woman, suddenly woke up tomorrow with male genitals, chest hair, adams apple, no boobs, no vagina etc and how disoreintating that would feel for me?

Would it be? I think the only really disorientating thing about it would be that the universe had suddenly become a lot more unpredictable. The fact of having different sexual characteristics...meh ok whatever, guess I have to learn to aim when I pee.