i'm a trans man ask me anything!

[LoveMyLukey]

just that really! i didn't start this thread to bash people who aren't convinced trans is a real thing or to try and brainwash and push my views on other people. just to try and help people understand or have questions answered :)

[newtlover]

what do you think you would be doing and feeling now if the concept of transgender didn't exist? If you new that you were stuck with a female body?

[newtlover]

that's knew, not new

[HandlebarTash81]

Thank you for this OP.

Can I ask how you knew that your feelings of dissonance about your body meant that you were a man/ boy?

[LoveMyLukey]

emma i feel like a biological sex is something that won't change, i do know i'm biologically female and scientifically that won't change but i can still be recognised as male and identify that way.
i do feel like a man trapped in a woman's body but i don't like referring to myself that way because it's just another reminder of my body being wrong so i just don't use that term.
i don't think that going on hormones or having surgery are required to make someone male because if they truly feel this way and aren't doing it for attention or to have male privilege etc then that's the main thing. i know that being pre testosterone and surgery as i am now doesn't make me less male than an older trans person who has had these procedures.

having biological children has never appealed to me, if much rather adopt and give a child a home and loving family, plus i'm planning to have a hysterectomy anyway as the chances of cancer of the womb rise when on testosterone so it's not a viable option to have my own children anyway. because of this i never even thought about being listed as the mother on a birth certificate but if i did i'd never ever be able to look at the birth certificate and see my name being listed as that, the thought just makes me feel sick i can't explain it

[LoveMyLukey]

die the only way i can explain it is that if you simply just wish to be a man in the way that it would be easier or you could have a better life then that's one thing but being physically repulse by being a woman and the only colsolation (i really hope that's a word) is that things can be removed and replaced so that they are no longer womanly and that you'd much rather live your life knowing that you aren't going to be accepted and need to make drastic changes and risk losing people every step of the way in this route to becoming male then in my opinion it's safe to say that you are male and that's how it's meant to be

[YourVagesty]

Crude question but you said AMA - feel free to ignore if it's too erm...probing

Does your boyfriend have vaginal sex with you? How does that make you feel?

[LoveMyLukey]

theoriginal for me some things could still be reversible but it differs. coming off hormones, fat would redistribute back, breast tissue may regrow, fertility may come back but my voice wouldn't change and body hair may not thin again

[LoveMyLukey]

elephant it's really hard because as a parent and knowing that your child may change their mind afterwards and hate you for letting them go forward with a transition and leave lasting damage, but on the other hand i always, always, always wished that my mum listened to me as a child and i could have cut out so many issues and could have gotten everything started so much sooner and thinking how much easier my life could have been but it's just such a big decision for a parent i don't blame her. so i don't think anything should be changed but i have heard of this doctor in America who specialises in treating pre pubescent trans children but gives them 'a taste of puberty' (their original one) before letting them start cross sex hormones, even though they all make the decision for them to start before the child starts puberty but especially for young trans girls, as i said in another comment, their voices don't change on hormones and i just think that's it's really disgusting as them having a deep voice was completely avoidable but irreversible and they chose the not avoid it

[LoveMyLukey]

yes hainault i very much see it as gender based as opposed to sex, i am attracted to men, but men is not limited to men with penises

[LoveMyLukey]

newt in all honesty if the concept of being transgender wasn't a thing i think i would have killed myself. it's really hard to know that somethings wrong and hating yourself but not having a reason and feeling like you're stuck. i'm really not surprised by the trans suicide rates as a lot of people who do commit do it because they can't come out for safety reasons or because they wouldn't be accepted in their own home or by their family

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Would you find a gay man who wasn't interested in a relationship with you on the basis of your sex to be a bigot/transphobic? What term would you use to describe natal men who have an exclusive sexual preference for other natal men?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Do you know many young trans people in the UK who have killed themselves?

[LoveMyLukey]

handlebar in the simplest way possible being female made me so incredibly unhappy and disassociated from myself and being male makes me so incredibly happy and feel so right in myself

[LoveMyLukey]

vagesty that is something i've done since coming out but don't really feel all to comfortable with it, my boyfriend however is more of a 'taker' i guess so i have a prosthetic penis which i can use to pee standing up (so i could use a urinal in public), it can become hard so i can use it to have sex and i can also just use to to have a bulge. so i have had vaginal sex with him but it's more comfortable for both of us for me to do him

[hiveofmumsandvillainy]

I was chatting to a good friend the other day, who, as a lesbian went through a lengthy period of hating her body, and feeling 'wrong', and wanting a penis. It went on for all of her teen years and it was only as she started coming to terms with the fact that she was gay, and that there was nothing wrong with her body as a more 'masculine' looking young woman that she learned to be happy as she was. She said that she sees young teens now transitioning and sees a lot of likeness with her and her lesbian peers. She was also saying that she knows several lesbians who have felt uncomfortable with any form of 'femininity' until they have given birth, which has been a turning point in their acceptance of their bodies. Nowadays it is likely that these same people would be pushed to go down the trans route. I'm interested in your reflections on this, and the amount of girls who have rapid onset dysphoria in their teen years.

[QOD]

I am a bit old and I find it all confusing

I know a lesbian couple who have been together years. One has now gone through a ‘sex change/gender reassignment’ though so I feel super confused about the one who is still a female lesbian. But is now with a man with a penis

So. She’s ? Straight?

[LoveMyLukey]

assassinated i wouldn't find a man who wouldn't date me for my sec to be a bigot because for some people sex is really important which is fine and they may want to have a certain type of sex that i can't give them which is also fine, other people aren't obligated to fuck me just because they're attracted to men.

currently 48% of trans people in britain have attempted suicide, 82% have thought about it and 55% have been diagnosed with depression.
i got these numbers from studies stonewall did www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_stats.pdf

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Ah, it sounded like you knew people who had killed themselves, given what you said about their reasoning.

I was wondering what term would you use to describe natal men who have an exclusive sexual preference for other natal men? Is there an accepted term these days for that?

[LoveMyLukey]

hive i actually know quite a few lesbians who've questioned their gender but have ultimately decided that they are female and i have a friend who did a year of hormone blockers and probable was just a few months off of getting testosterone but then decided it wasn't quite her. all i can say is that if you go NHS it's really long and hard to start a physical transition even if you do have a good experience it's still at the very least a year and the waiting time for the charing cross clinic i heard a few years ago was 3 years! the nhs try to make sure in every way possible that this is the right thing to do and while at the time it feels tedious its the right thing to do especially for young people. it just really isn't that quick and easy to have a physical transition and while it is sad that a lot of people get roped into it it's not as easy as most people think to progress with it

[LoveMyLukey]

Q0D so yes they would be straight. some people who found out they were gay and took a really long time to come to terms with it, to then find out they're also trans struggle to let go of this gay identity that was so hard to finally accept themself so still call themself gay even though they're technically straight (i know someone like this) so while i don't think it's right or helping anyone it's not my job to police everyone but yes, technically they're straight :)

[LanaorAna2]

You talk about hating your body and suffering severe depression as a young teen - it's a turbulent time.

Do you think you would have been better off considering trans-ing when you had recovered from depression, were less at risk of suicide, and had had help dealing with body issues?

Are you worried that big decisions you made when you were mentally ill as a young child may not be valid long term?

[SlimDogMillionaire]

At what age where you telling your mum that when you grew up you wanted to have a 'sex change'?

[LoveMyLukey]

assassinated nearly every trans person i know has tried to kill themself and of them ended up in a psych ward and it's just so sad so i try and stay educated so i can help people :) i don't think that there's a term yet but just genital preference really. most bigoted gay men just prefer 'no trannies' in their grindr bio but is what it is aha

[AssassinatedBeauty]

What brings you to Mumsnet, as a very young transgender person who isn't yet a parent and isn't currently trying to become a parent?

[NoSquirrels]

How does your family feel about it, OP?