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Original poster

I have 3 kids by 3 men Ama

69 replies

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:00

as above. ...

OP posts:

Lynne1Cat · 22/07/2018 10:02

Are you bragging or complaining? 3 lots of child maintenance can't be bad.

AdamantEve · 22/07/2018 10:07

Are you still in a relationship with the third man?
Do your children look similar to each other or have they inherited more of their dads characteristics than yours?

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:36

Not bragging or complaining thank you. I'm not in a relationship with the 3rd man he's my ex but we're on very good terms. my 1st child is the image of me, the 2nd and 3rd are more like their fathers. However alot of people don't believe they are half siblings so my genes must be poking through somewhere!

OP posts:

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 22/07/2018 10:38

How old are they? How is it affecting them?

MindMyOwnBeesSlacks · 22/07/2018 10:38

Would you go for a 4th with a different dp? Do your dc see their df and how do you juggle that

P00ka · 22/07/2018 10:40

I hope people aren't too judgemental

Do you think you are looking for absolution here? Or are you putting yourself up in the dock to be judged?

Don't do that.

There have been a lot of AMAs recently and I cannot see this one going well.

My children are three years apart and I'm a single parent, I've been asked if they have the same father which I saw as an incredibly judgemental and nosy question.

It must be rare to be completely childfree because it must be hard to co-ordinate child free 'slots'.

P00ka · 22/07/2018 10:40

So my question is ''are you nuts starting this thread?''

PoesyCherish · 22/07/2018 10:42

How long were you with each person before getting pregnant?

Were all of the pregnancies planned?

How long after separating from each father did you get with the next one? Sorry not sure how to word that question!

Genuinely intrigued and I think you're brave for starting this thread.

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:43

I was judged harshly on another thread so I was Hoping this one would be a bit more sensible.
They are 9, 5 and 2. They call my ex partner dad and the older 2 have never met their fathers so there has never been a carousel of men in their lives. I have a partner at the moment so wouldn't rule out another but it would be a good while.

OP posts:

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:44

Posey I was with ds1 dad for 8 years and married for 3. I was with ds2 dad for 2 years and dd3 dad for 2 years or so. My first and third pregnancies were planned. My 2nd was a contraception slip

OP posts:

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 22/07/2018 10:44

Do your children come along early in the relationships? If not, why does the relationship fall apart once children are involved.

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/07/2018 10:45

Do all three men know and like each other? Do they co-operate re contact weekends/holidays?

PerverseConverse · 22/07/2018 10:46

Sometimes life doesn't work out how we planned does it OP? I hope people don't judge you on here. I have three children to two different fathers and am not with either father now so I feel judged sometimes.

My question would be: how do you make time for yourself?

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/07/2018 10:47

Ah, I x posted with.you. sorry.

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:48

my 1st was born from an 8 year relationship. I was with the 2nd and 3rds father for around 18 months before falling pregnant.
The 3 men do not know each other. my eldest 2 children's fathers have never. Een involved

OP posts:

P00ka · 22/07/2018 10:48

You don't need mumsnet to approve of you OP.

If you felt bad after you shared your personal history on another thread then don't do it again.

I had posters attempt to make me feel like a worthless piece of trash for having children with (the same) man who turned out to be abusive. Years ago now, I got a lot of judgement on mumsnet for that.

I just have chosen a wonderful man who would have been a kind, supportive, equal partner! ah, that's all I needed to do.

Pages and pages of people judging you doesnt make for pleasant reading.

PoesyCherish · 22/07/2018 10:48

If they all call your ex partner Dad, does that mean he has contact with all of them?

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:49

My mum and my ex have them so I can get down time. They stay at my mum's every Friday and my ex sees them most days so can do school runs etc

OP posts:

PoesyCherish · 22/07/2018 10:50

P00ka's words are very true. You don't need judgement.

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 10:50

my ex has contact with all the children yes

OP posts:

Ireneony · 22/07/2018 10:57

This is also my situation. For anyone interested -

Dc1 was born of an abusive relationship when I was a teenager, relationship ended when DC was a very young baby, no contact since, no maintenance etc. Turned life around then met dh who became father to DC1 and we had DC2 together.

Happy enough for a few years but unfortunately we began to grow apart and seperated amicably. Exdh has both DC's just less than half the time and we get on well.

Met current dp, after a few years decided to have 1dc together. So quite big age gap between first two and three, but all good, everyone happy and getting on. Have been sterilised so no more children 😁 I like to think dp is forever now but not naive, you never know.

Life is not black and white and things don't always go the way you'd planned. People might assume things when they hear '3 by 3 men' I don't particularly care, I've made the best out of every situation and we're all doing well!

RebeccaWrongDaily · 22/07/2018 11:00

would you have another child with someone else if you met them, they were a good step dad to your existing kids and they wanted a child with you?

TheVanguardSix · 22/07/2018 11:02

They’re your beloved children, carried and nurtured by you. No judgment from me, OP. No questions really either. But I knew you’d be open to the judgy stuff.
I have 3 kids:DC1 by a different Dad than my other 2.

Life leads us more than we lead it, for the most part. And it sure as hell isn’t linear. Good luck to you and your brood, OP.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 22/07/2018 11:02

They call my ex partner dad and the older 2 have never met their fathers so there has never been a carousel of men in their lives

But surely your eldest met the fathers of his two siblings, and now you have another partner so that’s at least 3 men in a short time.

Original poster

BearsandHearts · 22/07/2018 11:02

Yes i would Rebecca

OP posts:

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