I have 3 kids by 3 men Ama

[BearsandHearts]

as above. ...

And also forgot to add OP your family dynamic is no one else's business, as long as it works for you and the DC that's all that matters. It sounds good that your ex is being so hands on with them all. Do people always ask why you don't get back together? People have asked me this about ex DH as he's such a good dad (prior to current dp usually) and I'm a bit everytime! Obviously it's not that simple!

You don't deserve judgment, life isn't black and white and things don't always go the way you planned.
If you're a good mum and your kids are happy and well looked after which I'm sure is true on all points then it's got fuck all to do with anyone else how they came to be.

I have 4 kids by 2 different dads. My 3rd was born on the 1 year anniversary of me setting eyes on my now husband for the first time. It's far from ideal but it worked for us, people judge but screw them.

What last name do your dc have?

I know a mum with 5 dc to 3 men and they all have their dads' last names. I always wonder if she wishes they all had her name instead.

No judging just nosey! Why don't the elder two see their dads?

No judgement here.

Do any of your children have other siblings from their dad and if so do they see them?

They all have my ex partners surname as we felt as he is very involved and is their dad in every sense they should have his name.
ds1 dad wanted a baby but turned against me when pregnant and left when the baby was 4 months.
ds2 dad left when I was pregnant.

Same here!

DS1 was from a short fling, no contact.

DD from a short lived and awful marriage, also no contact.

DS2 is with DH, who has PR for all three.

No one ever guesses, as they all look like me but also weirdly like DH, he’s been Daddy since they were preschoolers and they’ve got a lot of his mannerisms so I think that’s why.

15,14 and 6. The fact they are all half siblings never even comes up really. And the older two know their backgrounds. It’s all good.

Do you find people judge you IRL when they find out?

How do single parents of small children meet men?

Did you change your older DCs surnames then, to a new partner you were with a maximum of a couple of years and are no longer with?

Sorry posted too soon, whose surname did they have before?

MorrisZapp

Can't speak for all but I met exdh online (not dating site, was a forum for people with similar music interests) and current dp through work.

Well done you OP for being so honest and not giving a shit.

I'm a 2x2, would love a third but don't have the bottle to deal with all the judging x

Your family sounds ace

VladmirsPoutine some people do judge me but my new partner doesn't have an issue and neither do family and friends. it's no something we talk about really lol
LunaTrap my ds1 had his biological dad's surname ie my married name, ds2 had my maiden name as if changed it by the time he was born and dd3 has her dad's name. They now all have dd3 dad's name. I've known him 20 years.
MorrisZapp I met my current partner on a night out he's my work colleagues husband's friend.

I have 4 by 3. Ds2 has been out this morning with his dad and sibling and took ds3 with him

Didn’t the eldest meet the younger two’s fathers? and you’ve got a new partner again? Have you heard of the phrase 4x4?

Ds1 was young when I met ds2 dad so met him but I doubt he'd remember him as he didn't live with us. He obviously knows dd3 father as he calls him daddy. Yes I have heard the phase four by four normally said by ignorant people

Yes I have heard the phase four by four normally said by ignorant people

I don’t think “ignorant” is the word you’re looking for. Everyone is well informed about your situation. You’re talking about having yet another child with yet another man. How is that not four by four?

I think these circumstances can sometimes happen but do you not think your existing children now need some stability? Your youngest is only 2. Why are you considering yet another baby with a new man? Isn't there a risk that the pattern will keep repeating where you have a baby and then split up?

What is the age gap between the children?

I haven't said I'm considering another baby I'm not ruling it out that's all

Don’t you think ruling it out would be the mature and responsible thing to do at this point? How do you think your children are going to feel about this when they understand?

Your posting history doesn't show the best choices with men OP, and instead of reflecting and providing your DC with some much needed stability you have already started a previous thread about wanting another baby with your boyfriend of about 4 months. Do you think you would benefit from some form of counselling?

I'm a middle child from a 3x3 situation. I know my mother never intended that set up but life had other ideas. From the OP it sounds like the kids have stability - ex 's name and regular contact. In my case my mother erased our 'original' pasts and we lived as one big 'happy' family with No 3- didn't work out of course, but still retained contact with our fathers at discreet location s. Most of my childhood I felt like I was leading a double life-threatening pretending to everyone in school that was my stepfather was my dad but visiting real dad on weekends. Looking back it was too much responsibility to put on a 5yr old. Plus we didn't look anything alike either.

However everyone 's situation is different and I don't judge my mother. She faced a lot of judgement and abuse back then and she did what she had to do to give us what she thought was a better life at the time. No judgement from me OP and it's really none of anyone's business anyway.

Relying on the father of DC3 who was only in a relatively short relationship with the OP and is now already an ex isn't stability, it's hoping that a man with no legal obligation to 2 children keeps that up for X amount of years. Hopefully he will but there's always a chance he will meet someone new, have more kids, lose interest. That happens too often even with men who ARE the father. And the youngest is barely 2 and they've already met the new boyfriend. That's not stability.