I'm an alcoholic ask me anything

[Babydontcry]

Just the above

@OkPedro He does know, he really does have the patience of a St, and when I've asked him he isn't shouting/angry his reply is what's done is done shouting doesn't change anything. When I'm sober he tries to understand alcoholism so that he can help me stay that way.

@ChuffingNorah thank you

@exWifebeginsat40 thank you for your supportive message and sharing your experiences, there was a lot you said that I could relate to. I know ultimately if I don't stay sober, I will end up dead and it won't take that long. I understand from what people tell me that truly working AA is hard work, but then I figure so is all the self destructive efforts that my alcoholism entails!

Well done on your sobriety OP. Make as many meetings as you can. What I learned in AA has kept me sober for 24 years.

@waterlego thank you

@stargirl1701 I'm sorry that your childhood was ruined by that. I do truly love my son, but understand why as a non alcoholic my behaviour makes absolutely no sense to you.

Thanks for your understanding @wizzywig and @waterlego

Thank you @Whofuckingknows

@MrsMotherHen I'm so sorry you had that experience.

@KittyVonCatsworth so sorry to hear about your DSD. I tried alcohol to fit in/ a be like everyone else (I think typical teenage stuff for a lot of people) and then realised that it did make me more outgoing and confident (falsely), however the more you drink/ as alcoholism takes hold that positive is no longer there. I don't think there is anything anyone else could do to make me realise I have a problem nor stop drinking. What I would say is don't close the door on her as I know the more lonely and isolated I've felt the more I've felt I've had nothing else other than drink. Also give her the info about the help out there, she may not use it now but when she hits her own rock bottom she has that help to hand.

@HopelesslydevotedtoGu, I will try and answer all your questions

Have you ever been addicted to anything else except alcohol?
Probably I have a disordered relationship with good but not to the same degree
Looking back is there anything that you think could have been done differently in your life to stop you becoming an alcoholic?
Had more insight into my behaviour/ not surrounded myself with other heavy drinkers which would of definitely made my drinking seem less normal and also helped with stopping
As you stopped drinking alcohol when you were pregnant, how did you start drinking again?
I thought I had it under control

What do you think is the most likely outcome of your alcoholism? What do you think will happen over the next 10-20 years?
I know I need to stay stopped or I will be dead in less than ten years
From your experiences of alcohol services eg NHS, AA, is there anything you think they could do differently that would make it more likely that people would stop drinking?
I think the difficulty with NHS is that they have limited budgets so focus on getting stopped but don't offer the support with staying stopped so end up with revolving door patients.
Would you drink less if alcohol was more expensive? I am not sure it would stop someone who was already an alcoholic but I think it would stop people from becoming one in the first place

@MissConductUS thank you and well done on 24 years

thank you for answering. this is a really interesting thread. I wish you the best of luck future.

Thank you for answering baby, I recognise the loneliness/ isolation element; the more time spent with her seems to slow down the drinking...not stop it but slow it down a bit.

Thank you again, I wish you the best of luck with your journey to sobriety xx

Baby I wish you all the best and hope you find your way to sobriety and a better life.

to you and eveyone else on this thread who is an alcoholic but hasn’t had a drink today.

babydontcry
Your dp sounds great and very supportive

I am an alcoholic and unfortunately haven't made the jump to treatment
Myexdp couldn't handle it as his mother is an alcoholic and he went through a lot with her

Keep going, I'm rooting for you

@OkPedro if you think you're ready to have a go at putting the plug in the jug have a word with your doctor about it. There are many treatments available today that I didn't have that can ease the path for you. And do so without shame or embarrassment. Addiction is a medical issue, not a moral failing.

Godspeed to all who struggle with this.

Hi baby I’m an alcoholic too. I’m also a health professional. My addiction to alcohol started as a ‘coping mechanism’ whilst dealing with the end of an abusive relationship and depression. I stopped eating and started drinking.

I’m a single mum and when bored and lonely I whole heartedly signed up to the ‘wine o clock’ culture. After all I work fully time and have no adult to share my stresses and day with in the evenings.

I’ve done some disastarous things to my health, finances and ability to cope at home and work. Recently I’ve faced up to the reality of what I was doing (a bottle of wine a night and regularly more).

I’m awaiting nhs services and have been doing a lot of self help. I’m more awake and ‘present’ than I’ve been in years. I’m also deeply embarrassed and and ashamed. However I can’t undo past mistakes but I can stop myself from repeating them.

I’m recently sober (2 months), how do you cope with social situations when pressured to drink? Have you told wider family and friends?

@Babydontcry

You don't need to feel anything for me. It's your son that needs support. I am him 40 years on. I know his path.

@Zofloramummy I too am a health professional so I understand a bit about your work related stresses.

I know you directed your questions at baby but I'l take a shot at answering them too. In social situations I've always been able to just ask for a soft drink without undue push back to take something alcoholic, but the drinking culture may be different here. Even so, if offered something stronger just say "no thanks" with no further explanation. You can also go to the bar and ask for a club soda with a piece of lemon to carry around. Most people will assume it's a G&T or something similar. If you're at a nice restaurant with wine glasses out turn yours upside down and the server will remove it without comments.

As to telling people, I use the need to know test. My doctor and my DH need to know. Most of my friends and DH's family do not. Think about who you would tell if you were a diabetic. It's really none of most people's business.

The embarrassment and shame will pass as you become more comfortable with who you are now and learn to live without drinking.

Congratulations on your 2 months. I do hope you're getting some type of external support.

Thank you MissC I’ve had two assessments with the drug and alcohol team but I’m still on the waiting list for a key worker. I want to access their 12 week recovery programme so I’m just waiting although I’m currently dry.
My parents and my boss know. I’ve also told one close friend. The pressure to drink socially comes from extended family. Think all day family parties with copious booze available. So far I’ve managed with saying I’m on antibiotics!

I’ve found I have a restlessness I struggle with now in the evenings. I’ve cleaned more than I have in years and I sleep lots too. I guess it’ll get easier the longer I go but then the wine witch starts whispering “ you can stop drinking, so you aren’t an alcoholic. It’s been a tough day, you deserve one”. And one would be a bottle and the whole circus kicks off again.

I wish I was a ‘normal’ drinker but I’m not. Good analogy regarding diabetes.

As you know Zoflora alcohol is a depressant. I had all sorts of annoying energy when I stopped (after detox of course) .

The antibiotics excuse is fine for now, but it just postpones the issue because the next time you see them it's hard to use it again. "No thanks" with a small smile works best in the long run. You owe no one an explanation.

Since you have medical training I'll offer you this light reading, just to give you an idea of where the wine witch comes from:

Molecular basis of alcoholism

You sound like you're doing great, but a peer support group can be very helpful regardless. Also feel free to PM me anytime (that goes for you too Baby).

Well done dear.

Thank you @hopelesslydevotedtoGu

Thank you @L0UISA @KittyVonCatsworth

@OkPedro thank you. Do you mind me asking what is stopping you from seeking out treatment? I am just wondering if I can help reassure you in anyway?