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AMA

I'm an alcoholic ask me anything

126 replies

Babydontcry · 13/07/2018 07:03

Just the above

OP posts:
Babydontcry · 15/07/2018 23:44

@L0UISA Hi, thanks for asking. I'm sober and have been back to AA. Physically I'm much better but emotionally I'm all over the place, but that is the guilt, remorse and an anxiety that I only deserve for my actions. I'm not trying to focus on moving forward .

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 15/07/2018 23:49

Hope you can beat it OP.

What happened with your job?

Fleurelle · 16/07/2018 00:06

Welldone for going to AA. It really is a day at a time. It's amazing you're sober.

Babydontcry · 16/07/2018 00:36

@AfterSchoolWorry they smelt alcohol on me and sacked me. It was from eve evening before (not justifying it) but knowing my previous issues I was sacked.

OP posts:
Babydontcry · 16/07/2018 00:38

@Fleurelle thank you, I'm relieved that I'm sober but I'm under no illusion I've got it cracked, so I'm going to work hard everyday for it.

OP posts:
3dogsandcounting · 16/07/2018 01:08

I’m sure you can do it baby, you’ve got your wonderful child to live for. Dig deep and find the strength. You’re a good person and deserve to be well. Very best of luck.

OkPedro · 16/07/2018 01:24

Sorry if you've already answered
Does your dp know how bad it is?
If he does how has it affected your relationship?

ChuffingNorah · 16/07/2018 13:22

One day at a time OP. We're all rooting for you.Thanks

exWifebeginsat40 · 16/07/2018 13:40

OP, i’m an alcoholic. my parents are alcoholics, and i was raised with my alcoholic mother and alcoholic stepfather. i drank to the point of losing everything - my job went, then my kid, my marriage, my home.

being an alcoholic isn’t a choice, but drinking is. AA didn’t save me just by me going to meetings - i found a sponsor, worked the Steps and gave it everything. i haven’t had a drink today, and that’s fine by me. i mean, i haven’t had a drink for nearly four and a half years, it today is all we have.

if i can get sober, i believe anyone can. i was drunk round the clock. i drove drunk. i turned up to work drunk. i travelled the world, drunk. i drank from the minute i woke up - mouthwash, if i had to - until i finally stagger-screamed my way into unconsciousness at the end of whatever day it was.

if you’re into AA, you’ll have heard the saying that alcoholism left unchecked ends in one of 3 ways: jails, institutions or death. i did institutions a couple of times, and i very nearly died. as in, actually collapsed thinking i was finally dying, alone in the dark hallway of my tiny rented flat. someone got me to a lunchtime meeting the next day, i signed up again with alcohol treatment services in my town and did 3 months outpatient rehab alongside AA. not picked a drink up since, one day at a time, and all that.

it does get easier, otherwise nobody would make it. but you have to work hard, face yourself and ultimately forgive yourself. it’s worth me repeating that i was a mouthwash-drinking, vodka-in-the-mornings, police-welfare-checked rock bottom alcoholic.

i did it, OP. i AM doing it, every day that i put my head on the pillow at night, sober. you can do it too. what’s more, you deserve it. you deserve better than this.

be well, and hold hard. sobriety rocks, even when it’s properly shit. get amongst it.

exWifebeginsat40 · 16/07/2018 13:44

oh, and i fell downstairs in the night and broke my face. broke my nose, 2 giant black eyes, loosened 4 teeth and bit through my bottom lip. also concussion, and needed a double root canal. i don’t remember a thing - just woke up with my hair full of blood. i didn’t stop drinking for another 2 years or so. fear and shame won’t keep you from drinking again. loving and forgiving yourself will.

waterlego6064 · 16/07/2018 14:22

What lovely posts exWifebegins Very kind and encouraging words. Well done for not drinking today (and all those other days in between you and your last drink). I think you’re brilliant and I hope you stay well. 💐

wizzywig · 16/07/2018 14:28

Im teetotal and find that people think thats weird (am in the UK). Do you find yourself being less social because its tiring explaining that you dont drink? Do people push you to drink because they are?

stargirl1701 · 16/07/2018 14:30

This reply has been deleted

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Whofuckingknows · 16/07/2018 15:00

OP, I think you’re amazing for coming on here and being honest. You obviously have it in you to make the change and beat it. I believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself.

wizzywig · 16/07/2018 15:40

Think thats a bit nasty star, if it were that easy im sure the op wouldve done it.

waterlego6064 · 16/07/2018 16:49

Star, I don’t think you can assume that addicts are making a free and uncomplicated choice to choose their fix over their loved ones. It ought to be fairly obvious that addiction is more complex than that.

stargirl1701 · 16/07/2018 18:03

It's the question I would ask my alcoholic parent...if she hadn't died of ALD after 30 years of drinking.

I couldn't understand it as a child. I'm beyond baffled as a parent. How can anyone love anything more than their child? How?

MrsMotherHen · 16/07/2018 18:31

it's the question I would ask my mother too now I have children myself. Sorry but it is a choice all this is a disease, I can't help it, its not my fault, is typical alcoholic response.

You can choose to quit and you being sober is the start of this choice well done OP Flowers

stargirl1701 · 16/07/2018 18:37

It has the same lifelong impact on children as living with violence or being sexually abused, and heightens the risk of both of those happening too.

It is seriously damaging to children. It is a childhood ACE.

http://www.healthscotland.scot/population-groups/children/adverse-childhood-experiences

stargirl1701 · 16/07/2018 18:38

@wizzywig

I do not suggest it is easy. But, the parent should be sober or they should only have supervised contact.

KittyVonCatsworth · 17/07/2018 10:23

My DSD is an alcoholic and it’s heartbreaking. Is there anything that anyone could say or do for you to make you stop / made you take the first stop? Do you believe you have to hit rock bottom before you stop? Why did you start drinking? Xx

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 17/07/2018 10:37

Have you ever been addicted to anything else except alcohol?

Looking back is there anything that you think could have been done differently in your life to stop you becoming an alcoholic?

As you stopped drinking alcohol when you were pregnant, how did you start drinking again?

What do you think is the most likely outcome of your alcoholism? What do you think will happen over the next 10-20 years?

From your experiences of alcohol services eg NHS, AA, is there anything you think they could do differently that would make it more likely that people would stop drinking?

Would you drink less if alcohol was more expensive? e.g. minimum price per unit alcohol

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 17/07/2018 10:39

sorry OP I had misread your posts and not realised you are sober now.

Babydontcry · 17/07/2018 10:43

Thank you for so many replies, sorry I didn't check in yesterday, my son is due shortly so I will answer them all later today.

OP posts:
Babydontcry · 17/07/2018 14:47

Thank you @3dogsandcounting

OP posts:
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