I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

OP how does it feel to be blamed for the oppression of women in ultra conservative countries because you wear a head covering out of modesty? Do you think westerners give you more grief as a muslim woman than they do men?

I will say that I would view a male convert similarly negatively. However, they are not giving away any of their important, personal rights to do with being comfortable and free in their bodies. But they must be a very unpleasant charachter to pick such an openly misogynistic religion.

do you feel that way about all muslims @DuckingMel that theyre unpleasant characters?

Not those who are raised in a Muslim family or grew up in a Muslim culture. I have empathy for lost people, but not all lost people believe inherently and strongly in equality, which makes them more open to be drawn into Islam for answers. People try avoid cognitive dissonance, so like will gravitate with like.

Branleuse.. that you for you questions to Op. Sounds like you are someone interested in hearing her answers rather than impose opinions like the overwhelming majority. I have never realised that fellow British women are so ignorant until today.. Their opinions seems to fluctuate from guilt tripping hijabis to labelling them as idiots who dont know what theyre getting themselves into.

If anything is divisive is the attitude of some people..

Feminists out there, for the record, feminism means different things to different people and heritages.. I for example view sexualisation of young girls to be the introduction of make up and plastic surgeries.. I for example feel sad when i see young girls peer pressured to wear make up.. and women on the tube who feel so insecure to be seen without their faces painted like a canvas.. However I do not judge them, I just feel sad...

I grew up in a muslim country and i never in my life had anyone point out the size of my breasts... features on my face... hairs on my legs... by my fellow classmates, until i came here.. And it seemed to be THE ONLY TOPIC..And wait, the boys oh the boys.. all they did was look at pictures of girls naked.. Thats before TV made its way into girls back home and and made them insecure about their natural looks too...

Never in my life have I felt more of an object than the first year I came here at the age of 14... And yes I was going back and forth so I know what it is like throughout the teenage years.. I found it absolutelt disrespectful to the spirit of womanhood... The strength we carry... the contribution we have for society..

It ISSSSS because of this that I find my headscarf so liberating.. It reminds me that my worth is connected to my relationship with my creator.. Not with that of men... My relationship with my self.. My identity is who I am as a person.. not who society expects me to be..

It is not divisive at all.... those of you who havent experienced being in a muslim women environment have no clue what you are missing out on... I am appalled by how competitive women can be amongst each other, based on their 'appeal', how they strip each other down.,... Sorry but just because your theory sounds fascinating but be realistic, you know exactly what im talking about.. Jealousy, insecurity, and competitiveness in fact comes in the way of true sisterhood... where you are meant to focus on each other as humans... nurture and supportr each other.. have each others best interest at heart..

My hijab (when worn with full modesty) is my sisterhood... its my idea of feminism.. ITs what you haters are missing out on...

No i dont think girls who dont wear the headscarf are immodest.. I feel headscarf is a tool to maintan and acheive modesty... but modesty starts in the heart.. the fabric on the head isnt the only religious requirmenet... It is to cover those curves as well, those parts that men sexualise about you yeh??? It is to not draw unwanted attention to your superficial side, such as make up ... because outside the house, you are a sister of man...

now we didnt need a suffragettes movement... So we arent betraying anyone.. Islam was our feminism in the 14th century... before that was when women in our heritage suffered... thats our beleif..

Women who dont cover arent jduged... because it isnt about being a whore if you dont cover.. It isnt about giving comfort to your husbands protective jealousy... It really is about self worth and respect and connecting that to god... So a woman who doesnt wear it to me, is like anything else, a woman who has not discovered this fabulous tool... and is missing out....

Ofcourse if hijab is being used in the wrong way it defeats the purpose.. just like anything else..

So when it comes to sexualisation of women, I think you are barking at the wrong tree.. dear feminists

Also, I think there is an element of jealousy... because us hijabis , dont need you and your feminist arguments to stick up for us..

As for the iranian on this thread... you know very well that iran doesnt represent all the schools of thought of islam.. The majority of muslims dont even respect that iranian preist of yours, he considers us filth.. So stop taking out your anger on us for something he did to you

To rub it in your faces.. I see myself as a symbol of self respect to the coming generations of young girls... I am not ashamed.. Extremely proud actually

I wear hijab (since around 15 years old) but will not force my daughter to wear it. If she choses to then okay - but she is free to take it off again if she changes her mind. I don’t want her to be pressured. If she doesn’t want to wear it, it’s fine.
My in laws would probably want to pressurise and make it into an issue but me and dh have agreed we will not be forcing or telling her to wear it.
I sometimes think of taking mine off but it seems like a very bold move, and could be seen like a rejection of Islam - so I just stick with the status quo. I am Muslim but not “extremely practising” me and dh both became more liberal over the years.
I used to wear niqab but took that off about 8,9 years ago and would never consider going back to it, I wear like just jeans and a top + headscarf now.
Not fashionable, I don’t wear make up often at all - due to no time etc but I don’t think it’s wrong for those who do. I admire those who do put more effort into their style, I think that’s a positive thing.

bran no I really don't judge skimpily dressed women, and I don't know anyone who would, so I think you can take that chattiness at face value.
I've felt shocked by this thread, I've never had anyone say things like that to me RL, and now I'm wondering if people think it but don't say it!

ilove thanks for your passionate post. I think you're better with words than me! And thanks for sharing your own experience with hijab firawla

I've felt shocked by this thread, I've never had anyone say things like that to me RL, and now I'm wondering if people think it but don't say it!

Some of the comments have not been ok but I suspect most posters, myself included, are only asking their questions because this is a ‘Ask Me Anything’ thread . I think it’s really interesting to be able to ask those questions that you wouldn’t in person. Surely that’s the whole point of these threads! It’s enlightening and makes me think. There are some excellent posts on this thread. I just ignore the unpleasant ones.
As an atheist I find it difficult to comprehend how and why anyone would believe in any God. To me it’s incomprehensible. Even though I know I will never change my view I like to be able to understand other people’s religions. These AMA are a unique way to really talk to people with different backgrounds.

Yes crystal you are right, and I am glad to have had so many and varied questions. It's the gap between my RL experience and what I've seen on here that I'm shocked by. The responses have also gone beyond questions or even debate, I'm assuming and hoping that these posters would not approach Muslim women wearing hijab to tell them they should be ashamed. It seems the thread has given some people an opportunity to express themselves in a way that they wouldn't be able to in RL.

I've often noticed women who are generally covered are stunning beautiful and well groomed underneath. How do you motivate yourself to do that? I'm a mess unless an effort is needed for some reason (I. E I'm going to be seen)

Clionba well yes of course, but I doubt the op will admit she does it due to male oppression, she states it is to feel "closer to God" so I have to go along with that statement. Either way, it is still not freewill

reading you're asking the wrong person sorry, I'm far from stunning and not very well groomed! I think some of the Arab women are especially good at keeping on top of grooming etc. Although we are mostly covered outside the home, there are lots of family or women only events where we get dressed up, so there are motivations to make an effort.

I LoveHunanity it's not about "imposing opinions". I thought it was a genuine opportunity to ask hijab questions. My genuine question was why do primary school girls wear it? The OP said they shouldn't, but I still don't know why many do. I also don't know why women wear these particular coverings but men don't. Genuinely.

I dont think this thread has been very kind at all. Ask me anything isnt supposed to be " be abusive to me and im ok with it"

Reminds me of that art installation where a woman sat in a chair for 24 hours (i think) said anybody could touch her.

bran what happened to the lady who sat in the chair for 24 hours?

Op you seem completely oblivious to the difference between you as a white British convert who didn't even have any Muslim friends growing up, and women from Muslim backgrounds and communities.

You take it on yourself to speak for women from worlds that you understand nothing about.

You have no sensitivity or awareness of culture at all.

It's an incredibly white western colonialist attitude. You don't seem to understand that makes a difference in what people think.

She is not every hijab wearing muslim woman. Shes just one. If youre asking for a complete representative to insult then youll be disappointed

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2014/may/12/marina-abramovic-ready-to-die-serpentine-gallery-512-hours

Gorgon I'm well aware of the difference and that's why I've limited my answers to my own experiences - I don't claim to speak for anyone else, not even other converts.
I married someone from a vastly different culture, and have mixed race children. I spend ot of time in country where the culture is very different from here. I'm well aware of the the difference.

Fascinating bran!

bran I haven't insulted anyone. Some extremely articulate women from Muslim families have posted brilliantly on this thread to explain the effects of white western women adopting misogynistic practices. Much better than I could.

Op's thread title was "I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman". She said nothing about being a white British convert until people asked specifically.

Some brilliantly articulate women should remember this is a real woman behind their abstract theory before they pile on and blame all the ills of islam onto one woman

No one has done that. Women who have had to deal with those 'ills' and whose female relatives are actively suffering under misogynistic oppression have quite rightly called op out for playing around with it as if religion and culture are on sale in a giant global shopping mall.