I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

The quran verses around the so called headscarf (Khimar in Arabic) are open to interpretation - some translators interpret Khimar as headscarf, others as top cover or just cover. The command is to cover the bosom area with the Khimar.

"the reason given by Allah is to be identifiable as Muslim not harrassed - I experience the benefits of both of those things"

The Quran uses the term "believer" not "Muslim". There is no such word as Muslim in the Quran. I'm not sure that hijab today would prevent a woman being harassed. It would certainly identify her as being Muslim, but unfortunately Muslims in the West nowadays are identified with ISIS terrorists rather than being identified as believers.

This whole debate irritates me to be honest.

My husband is British Iranian (not Muslim) and I’m from a Southern European Catholic country. We now live in an area of London with a high population of Saudi and other ME nationals.

I don’t judge women wearing the niqab or hijab any more than I judge a woman walking down the street in high heels and skimpy clothing. Both dress “choices” are just opposite sides of the same coin and I find it astonishing to read the kind of mental dissonance and moral grandstanding that goes on to deny this.

Women claim to feel liberated by the freedom to wear revealing clothing - they own their sexuality etc. Other women claim to feel liberated by covering their body to various extents. The common denominator in all this is that they are BOTH reactions to the “male gaze”. To pretend anything else is ludicrous.

The hijab is essentially a piece if cloth - no more, no less. If a woman is in all honesty claiming that a piece cloth enable her to have a deeper connection with her creator, then I think she needs to reassess that connection, to be honest. Faith comes from within, it’s not a piece of fabric or a style of dress. Faith is not a display. This demeans faith in my opinion and makes it appear as a charade.

Women dress in various ways to conform or react against men’s insecurity about women as “other”, as sex objects and as property. This is at the heart of human psychology and we see it across all cultures - from beauty pageants, to porn, to women wearing the hijab. It’s all a reaction to the same thing. Objectively, all such reactions are an utter nonsense, yet it’s so embedded in the human psyche that women will go to any length to justify their choice of dress - even that it connects them to their Creator!

All religion was written by men for the purposes of men. Why for instance, is there a chapter in the Quran entitled “Women” if it’s a religion created through equality for the purposes of equality? Religion was created as a form of control and subduing sex drive and the danger perceived to be within.

I say all this as someone who does not identify as a feminist in the MN sense of the word. I believe that there are inherent differences between men and women and to pretend we are the same is a waste of time and does women and men a disservice. Nor do I believe humans will ever cease to be motivated by sex drive. I simply think that equating any kind of clothing, or lack of it, with morality and faith is a total smokescreen. Dress however you want, but at least see it for what it is - a shallow, human display, not a symbol of true connection with any god.

Vashna beautifully and thoroughly covered! Here here...

Women dress in various ways to conform or react against men’s insecurity about women as “other”, as sex objects and as property

I don’t believe this. I think there is a huge middle ground who genuinely just dress for themselves and don’t give any consideration to whether men are going to look at them or not. A nice happy middle ground where you dress in clothes you like to wear and don’t feel you have to hide your figure or flaunt your figure. Surely this is the norm in the UK?
I’ve also a lot more faith in men than some. I KNOW there are creeps about but the thought that most men go around staring at women is weird. Nearly all the men I know wouldn’t dream of being so seedy. I have come across some creeps in my time but the thought of hiding my body so THEY can’t be creeps is wrong. It’s giving them way to much importance and power. It’s also pointless. They aren’t going to stop being creeps regardless of how I or anyone else dresses.

So instead of hiding your hair or hiding the shape of your body, how about these men just stop the harassment? Why is it that women have to amend behaviour? I agree with you about the middle ground. I think most women in the West just dress for style and practicality, avoiding extremes.

Yes I totally agree there is a middle ground and this is what most women gravitate towards in Western society at least. For instance, I wear heels quite a lot and, to the best of my consciousness, it’s because they make my legs look longer, nothing directly to do with men because I don’t presume they would notice or care. Same with make-up - I wear it because it makes me feel more confident. What I was trying to say though, is that when you strip it all back, it all comes from the same place. Women through the ages have generally been defined through clothing in a way men have not. What difference does it make whether it’s a corset in the 1800s, foot binding in China, a woman in 6 inch heels and mini skirt or a woman with her face / hair covered? All restrict movement to some extent? Why is this do we think? And what about places such as Saudi where women actually don’t have the choice to find a middle ground that we take for granted? Do they feel closer to god because they’re covered up? What has clothing even got to do with any god? It’s a human construct and it’s based on the inherent sexualised dynamic between men and women - always has been and always will be.

Hi, you didn’t answer my questions so I’ll post them again thanks 😊

What does Islam think about the LGBT community?

I’ve read that Muhammad married a child and consummated the marriage when she was 9/10 and he was in his 50s - is this true or a myth?

Women who dont cover arent jduged... because it isnt about being a whore if you dont cover.. It isnt about giving comfort to your husbands protective jealousy... It really is about self worth and respect and connecting that to god... So a woman who doesnt wear it to me, is like anything else, a woman who has not discovered this fabulous tool... and is missing out....

So you do judge?

Op You are hypocritical. If it would be no problem if you had a daughter who didn’t wear hijab, then why so much pressure to wear one? It doesn’t make sense.

notheresnolyrics you know jolly well about LGBT so I assume you are just bullying.

Contact the Muslim Council if you want policy information. This is a forum to ask people about THEIR experiences, not a voice for their religion or organisation.

JJS888 how is asking a question bullying? Stop being so sensitive.

I’m not bullying at all, She said ask her anything, so I am.

My grandmother is Catholic and doesn’t agree with the Catholic Churches stance on gay marriage etc. She is a supporter of the LGBT community so I was just wondering if it’s the same in Islam, if people perhaps believe different things.

Also you hear the child marriage thing about Mohammad a lot so I was just wondering if it’s true or just nonsense.

nono the traditional Islamic stance on lgbt is the same as in Christianity and Judaism, it's forbidden. There are more progressive groups who argue for a more progressive interpretation.
The Aisha thing is a red herring _ the are conflicting reports about her age when the marriage happened. But agreement that the marriage was consummated after puberty. She was young, but this was normal at that time, both in Arabia and Europe. It was over 800 years ago, life expectancy was short, women married and had babies as soon as they were able.
Aisha became one of the leading scholars of sunni Islam. A hugely important figure.

hijabijabi Thank you that’s really interesting. What’s your take on gay marriage and the LGBT communities?

I have no issue living alongside these communities.

Would you have an issue if your kids were gay? Will you be raising them to think it’s wrong if they were?

Op just to comment about the pp saying you don’t represent the Muslim women grown in Muslim communities ..

As a Muslim who grew in a Muslim community, you represent me in so many ways. I’m so so proud of you.

The hijab is a religious affair not a cultural one.. so for those who did it for religious reasons , I represent them.

For those whose hijab was forced on them, neither I not you represent them. Has nothing to do with ethnicity but rather experience.

I think there is something to be gained by pp making you feel isolated from our fellow Muslim sister..

Sorry pp, her being white doesn’t make her privileges,. U shant be racist against your own kind

Typo..

For those who did it for religious reasons, you represent them ..

It is well known that the act of committing homosexual activities are sinful in major religions, just as adultery is a sin. In Islam, someone being homosexual doesn't make them sinful, just if they commit the act. However, no one is allowed to judge others, so if my child said he or she was homosexual, I wouldn't be doing any judging, in fact I would be saddened as I knew this is their huge test in this world. However I also believe that God will reward my child for struggling with this, and we all fave different tests and challenges in life.

And for the record there are counties like Tunisia and Lebanon and turkey , where women felt pressured to take off their headscarves to make a living..

So you standing up for the headscarf also liberates them.

You don’t only represent them, the likes of you are their hero. And your ethnicity makes you more unique in your ability to do so, given that most of these pressures came from white privileged colonianism

ilovehumanity thanks for those lovely words. Thankfully I have so much evidence around me that I'm not considered by born Muslims as any different from them in faith, it would be hard for me to doubt it. I also have many friends, and my husbands family, who have grown up in Muslim countries and have welcomed me as a sister without hesitation. Our different backgrounds are a strength, not a cause of division.

OP I am Muslim too, and I am totally with you.

Don't let women who are not practising or not from the Muslim faith tell you why you wear hijab or what the hijab represents. They have got no right to impose that on you. If the leaders of their country use hijab to control their women, that is NOT your problem. That is their problem, and the women and men of that country need to be overthrow those tyrannical leaders. Why should you pay for their actions?

I agree rain, and moreover I think we need to reclaim hijab from the tyrants

RainSim What a horrible test from god. To make someone feel bad for how they naturally feel towards another person. I don’t know how I could belive in something like that. People are gay, that’s it and it doesn’t affect anyone that they are. Why should they feel it’s a test that they have to pass in order to prove something to god. Isn’t believing in him enough?

hijabijabi do you think gay sex and marriage is wrong and sinful?

RainSim your attitude is shameful.

Oh it's not our problem that women are being oppressed in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Nigeria, Pakistan the list goes on and on. Let those people from those countries sort it out cause we are alright mate. You get the safety and protection afforded by a liberal western democracy so screw everyone else.

I don't know what kind of Islam you subscribe to it's certainly isn't the sharing/caring type.

This rang a bell when I read your post:

I'm not sure how well the photo came out but here is the quote from Niemöller:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Like I said your attitude of I'm alright mate is disgusting. I hope I never have to rely on your support for the progression of womens' rights.