I home educate my children, ama

[househelppl]

I haven’t been keeping up with with AMA threads (though I read a few and thought they were interesting) so apologies if this one has already been done.
But if it hasn’t, and you have any questions about home education, ask away!

We have the maturity, understanding and resilience to help us navigate these things as adults

With respect I disagree - certainly when thinking about young adults anyway - university age. I think being aware of Jonny in year 12 who deals weed, and Billy in year 11 who thinks it's funny to feel girls' breasts and having a peer group who confirm that the appropriate response is 'fuck off' is empowering, and I worry about an 18 year old who'd never encountered these situations would be quite unequipped to say 'fuck off'.

We (I work at a university) often get kids totally unable to deal with stuff because they've never been exposed to it; and also kids who go totally off the rails because drugs and alcohol are suddenly available in a way they haven't been before.

Home ed kids aren’t kept indoors away from the world though titchy. Of course they come across these things. My 15 year old is regularly out of my sight. She’s had horrible, sexist comments shouted at her in the town when she’s been just hanging out with her friends. She doesn’t know anyone who does drugs but some of her older friends drink alcohol and dd is allowed a small amount of alcohol with dinner on holiday. They aren’t sheltered and wrapped in cotton wool.
But at school, from what I’ve heard, things aren’t dealt with quickly and appropriately. Bullying goes on unchecked, same with drugs and other things. Our local secondary school is known particularly for the easy availability of drugs, and I’m not talking a little bit of weed.
The fact that teachers sometimes have their hands tied with these kind of things, it makes me worry that the kids see it as okay, for sexual assaults, bullying, drugs to take place. It seems almost like the norm. Kids being exposed to these things day in, day out. I don’t want that for my kids. I don’t want that to be their norm. And I want them to feel comfortable, happy and safe in their learning environment.

Also, home ed kids have peer groups too. They have friends who they can chat to and share opinions with. And not just home ed friends, my dc are friends with school children too. So there is exposure but not so much that you’re scared to go to school everyday, unable to learn because of other stuff going on at school.

Do you find being in the company of your children most of the time, hard?
Not at all. Since being educated at home they have actually become more independent. I found, when they were at school, that come home time or the weekends they'd want to constantly be in my company. But now they're able to get on with work (or play) independently whilst I can get on with whatever I need to be doing. They're not so full on and just seem more chilled. I also find that their relationships with one another have improved since we started home ed (thought it would go the other way tbh and that we'd all be sick at the sight of one another!

If "most home edders don't follow national curriculum" to quote you OP, doesn't that impact on their job prospects? What do they put on a CV re education?

What are your thoughts re Govt Report in 2009 on Homeschooling. It concluded homeschooled children "were four times more likely to be 'neets', 22% were not employed, in education or in training . They were also twice as likely to be known to Social Services. For children who attend school SS involvement figure was 0.2%. For homeschooled children it was 0.4%".

On your CV you put home educated and then give examples of what you have done. However, AFAIK, most HE kids go on to college or some kind of formal education that gives the recognised qualifications. My kids have done that.

When they applied to college they said that they were home educated in an eclectic, self directed way. None of them had any problems getting into the course of their choice based solely on interview.

I don't know about that report because I am in Scotland, so am unable to comment. As for the NEET question, there are more neet kids here than not, but we live in a very deprived area with poor schools and no job prospects. Given that the last time I checked there were 11 home ed kids and 4 of them were mine, I don't think that home ed can be blamed for that.

I would like to Home educate DD but it would be the worst choice for her entirely sadly.

I do know some HE people - one who decided before her DD went to school that they were all terrible places and didn’t do this and didn’t do that (even though my DD does these things). I think it’s sad not even to have given it a go to see if it works or not.

I also know one where they do online schooling. Problem is when he isn’t doing school work he is online.
Although he is in clubs and social activities (organised by his mum) he struggles with the general kids he meets at the park and seems to lack the skills to deal with them. His social circle is all ‘nice kids’ wanting to do a niche activity.

Cats A lot of children that attend school also just have a social circle of "nice kids" wanting to do a niche activity and may lack the skills to deal with general kids they meet elsewhere such as the park.

I have 3 dcs. My eldest went through the entire school system, including university. She loved school and did extremely well. She had the opportunity to home ed when she was involved in a competitive sport outside of school (it was suggested by her coaches to tweak training times), but she wasn't interested in that, and her school was very lenient with her regular absences due to her sport. My younger two have disabilities and had many difficulties with school, which were worsened by a lack of appropriate support. Home education has been a very positive thing for them. They still struggle with many situations, but are in a far better frame of mind than they were in school. It's a work in progress, but we absolutely know it was the best choice for them.

It's obviously not for everyone. All children are different. Would my eldest child have been suitably educated and well rounded if she had been home educated? Yes, but she didn't want to do so, and we respected that choice.